


if not now, when?

by makanaaaa



Series: if not now, when universe [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Underage Drinking, and they became best friends, doyoung is sicheng's brother, endgame yuwin, sicheng and donghyuck are childhood best friends, sicheng johnny and yuta met in high school, sicheng's life throughout the years
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2019-12-18 13:35:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 51,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18250910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makanaaaa/pseuds/makanaaaa
Summary: understanding Yuta, dealing with Johnny, keeping up with Donghyuck, wanting Renjun, missing Doyoung, loving Taeyong, surviving Jisung and Chenle('s new relationship, it's disturbing, they're like twelve)welcome to Sicheng's life





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if anyone will actually read this thing  
> or like stick with it  
> But, basically, this will be chaptered and the story is not in chronological order  
> It's pretty much like stories from different points of Sicheng's life  
> Endgame Yuwin, but a lot happens along the way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng is a sophomore in college in this  
> Yuta and Johnny are in their junior year

 

"What the fuck, you stupid bitch?! What did you do?" 

 

"Talk to me like that again and I'll murder your dog."

 

"What the fuck did you do?! I was gone for two seconds!" 

 

Johnny was literally screaming in Sicheng's ear, repeatedly hitting him with the pillow, looking like he was ready to really hurt him. He had a crazy look in his eyes, and Sicheng started to fear for his life.

 

What he did, seemed like a great idea a minute ago, but now he was starting to think that maybe it wasn't worth it. Not if he's not gonna be there to see Johnny struggling to fix the mess Sicheng made. And by not being there, he means he'll be dead. And by dead, he means murdered. The murderer being Johnny, of course. 

 

"That hurts, you giant moron, stop hitting me and I'll explain," he said, rapidly trying to think of a good explanation for his ultimate betrayal. There wasn't one, of course, he was just bored and a little tipsy, and maybe a little (a lot) sick of listening to Johnny pining for his crush of three years, every single day of the week. It had always been bad, but lately, it's become even worse. Johnny was insufferable, really, and he had to be stopped. Or taught a lesson. 

 

"No, I'm gonna kill you, you ruined my life just now!" Johnny said dramatically and very loudly, making Sicheng think about their poor neighbours, Lucas and Jungwoo. "Are you even aware of that?" The hitting hasn't stopped, it only intensified. "Are you even aware of the fact that my life is now over, and it's all your fault?"

 

"I'm-“

 

"ARE" hit "YOU" hit "AWARE" hit "O-“

 

"All right, stop!" Sicheng screamed as loud as he could, nice neighbours be damned!

 

"OF, I SAID," hit "IT?" hit.

 

There was a moment of silence, when they were just looking at each other, but it was very brief, promptly interrupted by Sicheng's sudden attack and need to physically hurt his roommate. He jumped on Johnny and started suffocating him with that poor pillow, when Johnny's phone lit up and a loud noise interrupted their grunts and screams. He got a text. 

 

They both backed away from each other quickly, looking at Johnny's phone in shock. 

 

"What do I do, what do I do, you life ruining snake?" Johnny was shaking Sicheng’s shoulders now, a look of fear in his eyes. Sicheng felt kind of bad. He batted Johnny’s hands away forcefully. 

 

"First of all, I hope you're aware that you're not allowed to touch me for a whole month at least, not after everything I went through in the last three minutes." 

 

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, since Johnny now looked even more murderous than that one time when Sicheng and his boyfriend at the time, Renjun, went on a double date with Ten and his boyfriend at the time. 

 

He quickly continued. "But that doesn't matter now, go and see who it's from. And if it's from Ten, I'm sure it's good news. And if it's not good news, I'm sorry and I love you, don't kill me!" 

 

It's been a solid ten minutes since Sicheng texted Ten from Johnny's phone, basically confessing in a way that was too real and too personal to be able to pass as a joke, and he was definitely starting to feel guilty. It didn’t even seem that funny anymore. What if he really ruined their friendship? Johnny and Ten have been friends for years now, and Johnny has been crushing on him for at least half of it. Sicheng always suspected Ten liked him back, but he was always jumping from one relationship to another, so it was hard to tell. But, there were little things, like how Ten looked at Johnny when he thought no one's watching, how Johnny was always the first person Ten called for anything, basically, or how they were always touching and holding hands and couldn’t seem to stay away from each other, even when Ten was in a relationship.

 

Johnny never wanted to confess, always saying that he didn't want to ruin the best friendship he ever had by revealing his unrequited feelings. 

 

The whole things was very delicate and a sensitive subject for Johnny, so Sicheng should've known messing with it would be a disaster. Things always were, when he was drinking and would suddenly get an idea. But, Johnny was the one who suggested they drank tonight, so really, it was his fault. 

 

He was now silently staring at his phone, with a look that not even Sicheng, who considered himself an expert in all things Johnny, could decipher. 

 

Slowly, he lifted his head up, looked at Sicheng with that damn unreadable expression and shoved his phone in his face. 

 

from: Ten ❤

I can't tell if you're joking? Are you joking?? If you are that's cruel

Can we talk in person? 

 

"You get to live another day." Johnny said suddenly, sounding unusually calm. With that, he dramatically turned away and started walking towards his room, not forgetting to bring with him a bottle of wine they were previously sharing.

 

"I wasn't finished with that" Sicheng pointed out, quickly changing his mind when Johnny peeped his head back into the living room with the challenging look on his face.

 

"You were saying something, bitch?" 

 

"Isn't that a bit too much? And aren't we gonna talk about Ten's message?" 

 

"YOU WERE SAYING SOMETHING, BITCH!?" 

 

Yeah, even Sicheng knew it was time to stop when things got like this. It wasn't in his nature to do what Johnny says, or to listen to him, or to not make fun of him. But, maybe just this once, he could try.

 

"No, you go, drink our wine, I mean your wine. Have a good night." 

 

"I thought so." Another dramatic exist and a loud door slam. 

 

"Bitch." Sicheng muttered.

 

"I HEARD THAT!" 

 

"Oh, whatever!"

 

 

If Sicheng thought Johnten (Yuta's brilliant idea) were bad before, that was nothing compared to how they were acting now, post mutual confession. The touches tripled in number and intensity, and the distance between them stopped existing. It would be cute if it wasn't disgusting. Ten was now always there, in Johnny and Sicheng's shared apartment, since they couldn't spend that much time in Ten's small dorm, who also had a crazy roommate. So, Sicheng was forced to spend most of his time at Yuta's. (Donghyuck was his first choice, but he soon realized that Markhyuck (that one was him) were almost as bad as the couple he was trying to get away from).

 

Yuta was a close friend, the third member of their little squad, which was formed years ago when they all met in high-school. 

 

He was Japanese, and his parents, who stayed in Japan when Yuta moved here, bought him an apartment, so he was living alone. The three of them used to spend all of their free time back in high-school at Yuta's, watching movies and eating takeout almost every day. After high-school, Sicheng and Johnny decided to rent a place together, even though their relationship was a weird one. Johnny was one of Sicheng's closest friends, but the way in which they functioned seemed unconventional to a lot of people. They were fighting more often than not, they couldn't agree on anything, and insults were the best way they communicated with. But, Sicheng wouldn't live with anyone else, and there was no one that knew him better that Johnny. 

 

"Okay, so I was thinking we should do something fun today, you know, get out of the house, get some fresh air."

 

"You always say that and we always stay inside." 

 

"And whose fault is that, huh?"

 

They were sitting in Yuta's kitchen, drinking coffee. Well, Yuta was, Sicheng was drinking his favourite, green tea. There was this particular kind, some kind of fancy, expensive blend, that Sicheng once tried when he was visiting his brother, Doyoung, in China, where he was studying philosophy at the time. When Sicheng got back from the trip, he told Yuta and Johnny about how it was the best green tea he ever tried. Yuta didn't say anything then, but the next time Sicheng visited him, he had that exact tea. And every time after that.

 

"I don't know, Johnny's?" Sicheng said with his most innocent face. 

 

Yuta got up from his chair and flung himself at Sicheng, throwing his arms around him from behind and holding him tight. 

 

"Please, let's do something fun. I'm bored, I don't wanna stay inside today. Look at the weather, it's practically calling us," Yuta whined. He was still holding Sicheng in a grip, gently swaying his shoulders while speaking. 

 

"Come on" he said softly, resting his head on Sicheng’s back.

 

If there was one thing about Yuta, it's that he was very persuasive when he wanted to be. If he wanted something, it was impossible to tell him no. And, it's not like Sicheng didn't want to go outside, he just wanted Yuta to beg him a little bit before he said yes. 

 

"Okay, let's go. But, it needs to be something fun." Sicheng said while he was struggling to free himself from Yuta's hold. 

 

"Of course, but when is it not fun when we're together?" He was now holding Sicheng’s hands behind his back, moving them to the rhythm of some annoying song he's been singing constantly for the last few days.

 

Sicheng turned his head around for the first time since the unnecessary attack and gave Yuta his deadliest look. "If you don't release me right now, we're staying in and watching the whole trilogy of high school musical in one sitting. I'm not even joking." 

 

Yuta gave him one of his biggest smiles, let go of his hands, pinched his cheek, said "You're so cute" and then turned away. 

 

"We're leaving soon, I just need to change first" he shouted from his room.

 

Stupid Yuta and his holding and pinching. Sicheng didn't even have time to hit him properly and wipe that stupid grin off his face. 

 

He got up and went to open the window. It was getting too hot inside. 

 

 

"You said the weather was nice and that it was calling us, but it's literally 15 degrees outside" Sicheng said while shivering and trying to warm himself. It didn’t work. 

 

"You were the one who didn't bring a jacket cause you were too warm inside. You said you were sweating and you even opened the window. I told you to bring a jacket." 

 

"Whatever, where are we going anyway?" 

 

Yuta took off his jacket and put it around Sicheng's shoulders, not listening to his protests. 

 

"I have a thick hoodie, and anyway, I can't have you freezing since we're going hiking!" he said happily, like he didn't know exactly how much Sicheng hated that kind of thing. 

 

"Are you joking?"

 

"No, but trust me it's gonna be fun! When is it not when we're together?" 

 

"Stop saying that" Sicheng said, not able to contain the laughter. 

 

But it was true. Even if they were just lying around the house, not doing anything in particular, it was still not boring when it was just the two of them. Sicheng attributed that to the fact that they've been close friends for such a long time. They were used to each other and didn’t feel like they needed to constantly do stuff to make their friendship interesting. Still, it was nice to have adventures from time to time. Sicheng was not as opposed to this idea as he was pretending to be. 

 

"But it's true!" Yuta protested, with a note of laughter in his voice.

 

Sicheng looked up at him and smiled. "It really is." 

 

He stretched his hand and offered it to Yuta. "Let's go."

 

"Let's get it, you mean?"

 

"Sure." 

 

 

As it turned out, hiking was actually quite fun. Yuta didn't choose a difficult trail and there was not a lot of people there, since the weather was not ideal. They spent their time walking slowly and talking about anything and everything. A few hours passed quickly for Sicheng, and he wondered if it had anything to do with the activity or if it was just due to the company. 

 

"Are you hungry?" Yuta asked, while helping Sicheng jump off a big rock. He didn't let go of his hand even when they were safely on the ground. They were almost out of the woods, when they saw a cute little restaurant in the distance. 

 

"I'm starving." 

 

It was an Italian restaurant, almost hidden from the world, but still packed. There was a warm and cozy atmosphere inside, and Sicheng and Yuta found themselves surrounded by couples. Sicheng laughed. 

 

"Is this like a couples only restaurant or what? I swear everyone here is on a date."

 

Yuta laughed nervously, which was a weird sight, since the guy was always confident and sure of himself. He looked up at Sicheng, but didn't say anything, as if he was trying to come up with the right words. 

 

A weird feeling grew in Sicheng, something unspecified that could've been a mixture of confusion, expectancy and hope? Hope for what? 

 

The strange ambiance was interrupted when their waiter arrived. Yuta ducked his head down and started looking at their menu like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

 

"Good evening, my name is Taeyong and I'll be your waiter tonight. What can I get you?"

 

And, if life was a movie, this scene would be in slow motion. Sicheng had never seen anyone as beautiful as this boy standing in front of him. The waiter gave him the prettiest smile and then turned to Yuta, who started questioning him about the menu. He was currently recommending Yuta their best dishes, and Sicheng knew that soon, it will be his turn to speak, but he honestly didn't know if what he'll say would even make sense. He was really affected by this person, and that had never happened to him before. Suddenly, the boy turned to him and Sicheng's breath hitched. 

 

"I'll have a glass of prosecco and fettuccine alfredo, please," he muttered weakly, hoping his face didn’t reveal the way he felt inside. 

 

The waiter smiled and turned away, and Sicheng couldn't take his eyes off of him. As he got to the bar and started pouring them their drinks, he looked at Sicheng again, quickly turning his head when their eyes met.

 

Across from him, Yuta cleared his throat."Sicheng, I need to tell you-

 

"Yuta, I think I just met my future husband."


	2. Even miracles take a little time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng and Donghyuck go visit Doyoung in China  
> Doyoung is charmed by the cute guy they meet  
> Donghyuck realizes he has to do something about his crush on Mark  
> Sicheng is obsessed with Disneyland and somehow constantly reminded of Yuta
> 
> Sicheng and Donghyuck are on the summer break between their junior and senior year in high school
> 
> Doyoung is about to start his second year of uni and Jaehyun his first

Shanghai is crazy. It’s huge and hectic and polluted, but also fascinating and full of interesting things to see. Plus, there’s a freaking Disneyland in the middle of the city! Sicheng has never been before and it’s been too long since he last saw his brother, so he decided to come to Shanghai and visit him during the summer break.

Doyoung first came to China almost a year ago to study literature, and Sicheng has been missing him a lot, especially lately. It’s not that he was lonely, he was literally never alone (Yuta and Donghyuck made sure of it), but not having his brother around and not being able to see him whenever he wanted has been tough.

That’s why Sicheng was overjoyed when Doyoung offered him to stay with him for two weeks, telling Sicheng he was missing him just as much, if not more. When Donghyuck heard about it, he invited himself to come with, saying that he deserved to be there, since Doyoung loved him more anyway.

So, that’s how they ended up there, exhausted from the trip and overwhelmed by the city, but very excited to experience everything Shanghai had to offer.

“I say we go out tonight. Have a few drinks at the bar and then go to a club!” Donghyuck said, while frantically chewing on the sandwich Doyoung had previously made him. 

“You’re literally barely awake and you want to go out tonight? We can go out any other day, Hyuck.” It was already 6pm and Sicheng wasn’t in the mood for partying. “But, we can get a bottle of wine and drink here, catch up with Doyoung.”

Sicheng turned 18 this year and he wasn’t a stranger to alcohol. But, there was a certain image he had to maintain in front of his brother, and drinking anything more than a few glasses of wine didn’t really fit into that. 

“I get how you would need to catch up with him, but your brother and I talk every day, I know everything that’s going on with him.” Donghyuck said smugly and then proceeded to drink his glass of milk, managing to spill a good amount on the table and down his chin.

“Hyuck, that’s disgusting. And enough with that joke, it’s getting old.”

“Except that it’s not a joke, it’s how it is” he said matter-of-factly, “He loves you, of course, but he’ll always have a soft spot for me.”

Doyoung chose that moment to enter the room, carrying two bottles of wine.

“I bought wine, I figured you wouldn’t want to go out on your first night here, but would still want to have fun” he said knowingly, smiling a little. Sicheng laughed triumphantly and turned to Donghyuck. 

“See, loser? Now, stop trying to steal my brother, we have a bond, and you’re just dumb.” 

Sicheng felt a little bit better. Just now, when Donghyuck was talking shit, he felt kind of bad. Is his relationship with his brother not as good as it could be? Sure, Doyoung and Sicheng were different, but he always thought they talked enough and that they were comfortable with sharing things with one another.

Even more importantly, he thought Doyoung had a soft spot for him, not for stupid Donghyuck! Sicheng was sure of it, actually, he couldn’t even remember the number of times his brother covered for him and forgave his sins, simply because he didn’t know how not to. Because he had a soft spot for him!

Does Donghyuck really talk to him every day? Or is he just full of shit like always? Probably that, it must be that.

“I know what I said.” Donghyuck said calmly, and it was apparent he was just trying to annoy Sicheng and get a rise out of him. And a rise he will get.

“Ok, that’s enough! Doyoung, who do you love more, me or Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck was now snickering on the sofa, but he still turned around to look at Doyoung, watching him expectantly. 

“Sicheng, are you letting Hyuck tease you again, like when you were little? He’s younger than you, how does he always manage to get into your head?” Doyoung asked, trying not to laugh too hard. Sicheng didn’t find it particularly funny. 

“It’s a talent that I have! One of many.” Donghyuck exclaimed proudly.

“You shut up, I’m already regretting bringing you here!” Sicheng spat angrily.

“No you don’t, take that back!” Donghyuck sat up suddenly and pointed at Sicheng commandingly. 

“I’m not taking anything back,” Sicheng said decisively, but then paused as if to think about something. “Actually, no, I might take something back,” he declared, with a smile too big, considering he was fuming just seconds ago. “I might take back a promise that I made when I said I wouldn’t tell Mark anything about your little crush” he yelled at Donghyuck, aware that he was hitting a sensitive spot. Not that he cared at the moment.

Donghyuck looked enraged. “You wouldn’t dare,” he said lowly, but Sicheng could see it in his eyes, he was scared Sicheng would actually do it. And rightfully so.

Sicheng pulled out his phone and started dialing Mark’s number. Donghyuck began chasing him around the kitchen. Doyoung was looking at them helplessly. “Guys, calm down, why is it always like this with the two of you?”

Donghyuck was now trying to get on Sicheng’s back, unsuccessfully so.

“Not always, this freak just gets crazy when you’re there.” Sicheng said, trying to avoid Donghyuck’s attempts at climbing his back.

“Yeah, and you always get even crazier in return.” Donghyuck spat back, throwing himself at Sicheng and falling on the floor. Mark picked up at that moment.

“Hello?”

Sheer panic could be seen on Donghyuck’s face as he looked at Sicheng pleadingly. 

“Mark, I’m just calling to say that we landed,” he said, and Donghyuck looked relieved. Naïve boy. “And to talk to you. There’s something I need to tell you.” He looked Donghyuck straight in the eyes and grinned. “It’s about Hyuck”.

At that moment, Donghyuck started running towards him really fast and then he began screaming, loud enough so that Mark could hear him, “Tell Yuta Sicheng misses him! He’s too embarrassed to tell him himself, but he can’t stop talking about him”. 

“That’s literally not true, why would you even say that?” Sicheng protested, as Donghyuck tried to take his phone away from him for the hundredth time. 

Suddenly, the phone was snatched, and not by Donghyuck, but Doyoung, who was looking at them with annoyance. “We’ll call you later, Mark” he said to their friend and then brought his attention back to them.

“Please, don’t fight over me, there’s enough love here for the both of you,” he said, pointing at his heart. “Sicheng, don’t believe everything Hyuck says, he’s mostly just trying to rile you up, and Hyuck, you’re almost like a brother to me. Almost. And I love both of you, dearly. Is that okay, will you stop fighting now?” 

Sicheng and Donghyuck looked at each other and shared one of their silent conversations. “That was really lame, Doyoung, I can’t believe we fought over you,” Sicheng said incredulously and started walking towards the guest room.

“Really lame,” Donghyuck added and followed Sicheng without another word, but not before giving Doyoung a disapproving look.

From the guest room, the two of them could hear Doyoung sigh tiredly, before he loudly said, “They’re gonna drive me crazy, aren’t they?”

“Great, now he’s talking to himself!”

 

The next day, they decided to explore the city, with Doyoung as their guide, even though he kept telling them his knowledge of the city was almost as limited as theirs. When Donghyuck teased him about not having a life, he defeatedly agreed. Sicheng snickered quietly and then smacked Donghyuck in the back of the head.

The night before, despite his initial desire to go clubbing, Donghyuck fell asleep around 10pm, in the middle of talking about how Mark was not even aware of what he was doing to him. The usual, really. That left Sicheng and Doyoung alone, and even though he loved Donghyuck to pieces, Sicheng was happy he got to spend some time alone with his brother.

They talked about everything and anything, but really, it was mostly Sicheng who talked. He told Doyoung all about school and how boring it was, how he was seeing Donghyuck almost every day even though they went to different high schools, he even talked about some of the adventures he, Johnny and Yuta recently had. 

Doyoung mostly kept quiet, occasionally laughing at Sicheng’s ridiculous stories, seemingly satisfied with just listening to his brother blabber on and on about his friends and their antics.

“What about you? Have you met anyone interesting?” Sicheng asked. Doyoung raised his eyebrow.

“That’s not what I meant” he added quickly, “I mean, great if you did, I just meant, do you have any good friends here? I know you mention that guy Kun a lot.”

Doyoung smiled and started talking about his new best friend, who was apparently super smart, but also pretty fun to be around, and handsome as well.

“He’s really cool, everyone loves him, I think you would like him too.”

“You know I don’t like that type, the type that appeals to everyone.” Sicheng said, dismissing Doyoung’s suggestion. His brother laughed loudly.

“Oh yeah, I forgot you only like the brooding type that only ever smiles for you.” Doyoung said with a teasing smile. Sicheng couldn’t possibly think of a person that fitted that description. Poor Doyoung, he was clearly getting drunk after two and a half glasses of wine. Sicheng will change the subject, for Doyoung’s sake, to spare him the embarrassment. 

“And what is your type?” he asked his brother, genuinely interested.

“I’ll know when I see it.”

 

The next day, everyone was in the good mood, especially Donghyuck, who was well-rested after his 12 hour long beauty sleep, and excited to leave the apartment. Their first stop was a cute little coffee shop, that was half way between Doyoung’s apartment and his university, where they stopped to grab coffee. 

Of course, Donghyuck had to shamelessly flirt with the waiter, which resulted in said waiter’s girlfriend getting angry, who was apparently sitting at the bar the whole time. Fortunately, the waiter found the whole thing funny, but they still left the place quickly, and both Sicheng and Doyoung gave the youngest a lesson about the appropriate time and place for flirting. 

They spent the next few hours sightseeing and Doyoung was really persistent about them visiting every place that was on the list he had made the previous night. After several complaints from both Sicheng and Donghyuck, Doyoung agreed it was time for a lunch break, but not before nagging them about not appreciating history and culture. 

“Guys, I’m so excited about Disneyland, you don’t even know!”

“We really do.” they both said, unimpressed.

“You talk about it all the time.” Doyoung added quickly.

“This is the fourth time you mentioned it today.” supplied Donghyuck.

“Whatever, haters.” Sicheng said, while chewing on his salad. He thought about his friends back home. “Yuta would know how to share my happiness. He loves Disney.”

Doyoung and Donghyuck exchanged a weird look between themselves. And then they smiled knowingly. Sicheng felt like he wasn’t let in on a secret.

“Oh, he would, wouldn’t he?” Donghyuck asked dramatically, giving Doyoung a pointed look.

“I certainly think he would, and he loves Disney!” Doyoung solemnly nodded back at him. 

Sicheng rolled his eyes. “You guys are so annoying” he concluded and continued eating his salad, unbothered by his brother and best friend’s idiocy. 

 

Ever since he was a little boy, Sicheng dreamed of going to Disneyland and experiencing the magic of the place. He's always loved everything Disney related, and there was never a time he wasn't in the mood for a Disney movie.

Well, except when there were other people around. As much as Sicheng loved Disney movies, he could never watch them in front of other people, not even his friends, the reason for that being the excessive crying that took place every time he watched even the happiest of movies, as long as they were from the Disney production.

The only person he could sometimes relax in front of, enough to not be completely embarrassed by the time he was a sobbing mess and the movie was 13 minutes in, was Yuta. He never made fun of Sicheng, never even commented on his crying and Sicheng supposed that was because Yuta knew him really well. Although, that couldn't be the only reason, since Johnny also knew him pretty damn well, but he never missed the opportunity to mock Sicheng relentlessly.

Doyoung and Donghyuck, unfortunately, were not the biggest Disney fans, so that's why Sicheng kind of wished Yuta was there with him. Because, even though he wasn't as big of a fan, he would definitely make the trip more interesting with his energy, his adventurous spirit, and his funny commentary.

In front of him, Donghyuck was already whining that his legs hurt and Doyoung was complaining about the heat, and they've been in Disneyland for a total of 16 minutes. Sicheng sighed and decided he was gonna ignore his brother and best friend's complaints and not let them ruin his good mood.

Disneyland was everything Sicheng has ever imagined it would be and so much more. Pictures and videos couldn't do it justice, they couldn't transfer the magical atmosphere one could only experience when actually walking through the park for the first time. There was a lot of people there, since it was always the most crowded in the summer.

They first got fastpasses for all the rides with the longest queues, and then they went on the ones where they didn’t have to wait in the line for so long. Sicheng and Donghyuck enjoyed Mad Hatter Tea Cups the most, while Doyoung got a little dizzy there.

"This is the most fun I've ever had!" Donghyuck screamed over the music, even though it wasn't that loud. He was smiling widely and Sicheng's face expression matched his. 

"I know! Let's take a picture and send it to the guys." Sicheng took out his phone and turned the camera on. Donghyuck started posing. "No, let's take a video first, before the ride’s done. I don’t know how long it goes on for.”

"It can't be over fast enough," whined Doyoung, who wasn't exactly enjoying himself. "Honestly guys, how are you not dizzy? I read that this ride is infamous for causing motion sickness as a result of the spinning component of the ride."

"Doyoung, you're honestly killing my vibe, stop talking like that!" Donghyuck protested.

"Yeah, just because you're in uni now, doesn't mean that you have to talk like an asshole," Sicheng agreed, preparing to start the video. Nobody noticed Doyoung's annoyed eye roll.

Sicheng put his phone in front of him and Donghyuck, and he started the video.

"Hey losers! We're having so much fun and you're not!" Donghyuck screamed again, this time pointed at the camera, but still unnecessarily loud. 

Sicheng waved to the camera and smiled for his friends. "What Hyuck wants to say is that Disneyland is amazing and we miss you guys here, it would be fun if we were all together! Well, mostly Yuta, really. And Mark! But not you Johnny, definitely not you!"

He turned around and looked at Donghyuck with a little smirk. "Say hi to Mark, Hyuck!"

Donghyuck looked murderous while giving Sicheng the scariest look he's ever seen on his friend’s face, but then quickly composed himself for the camera and smiled brightly.

"Hi, Mark," Donghyuck started, sounding a little too enthusiastic, probably trying to cover up his annoyance with Sicheng for being too obvious. "We're on the cutest ride ever right now, and everything here is cute and pretty, so you would fit right in and next time we have to come together" he finished his rambling, seemingly realising what he had said as Sicheng quickly looked at him, surprised by his words. Donghyuck looked panicked and immediately added "That's not what I meant" stumbling with his words and then giving up, all in three seconds. "Yeah we're not sending this."

Sicheng looked at him, something akin to incredulity, mixed with a little bit of pity on his face. "What was that Hyuck? I thought you were big on keeping your feelings hidden?" 

Even Doyoung, who still looked like he wanted to be anywhere else, seemed interested in what was currently happening.

"We're never talking about this again!" Donghyuck looked at them seriously, giving them a stern look. Then he sighed loudly. "It just slipped out, okay!"

The ride ended at that moment and everyone started leaving their cups. They got up as well. 

"Whatever, I'm just sad I didn't get a chance to say something mean to Johnny" Sicheng pouted.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes. "It's not like we're not going back on that ride, it's literally the best ride ever. We're gonna take a new video then," he said and then quickly added, emphasizing the next few words very loudly "Without any blunders!" He raised his eyebrows for the added effect, like the look he was giving Sicheng wasn't already meaningful enough. "And then you'll get to insult Johnny all you want." Sicheng felt better after that. Doyoung just looked relieved he was standing firmly on the ground again.

 

They went on the thrill rides next, while Doyoung decided he was gonna wait those ones out and meet them when they're finished with everything. Sicheng and Donghyuck both agreed he was an old man in disguise. Then, they went to all of the classic ones, Sicheng's favourite being Peter Pan's flight, while Donghyuck enjoyed Dumbo the Flying Elephant the most. And then, after hours of running around and trying out everything they could, they were happy to just walk through the park and take everything in. 

“I have to admit, this was the best day ever.” Donghyuck said happily, putting his arm around Sicheng. They were strolling through Mickey Avenue, heading for the bakery Doyoung told them to meet him at, called Remy’s Patisserie. 

“Right? And are you a proper Disney fan now?” Sicheng asked hopefully, because he needed more of those in his life. Although, it would be weird to add someone else to his and Yuta’s Disney traditions. Besides, they were not for everyone. Not everyone would be able to have a Disney marathon every week and watch the whole trilogy of The Lion King in one sitting, only taking a break when going to get more food. 

“You can count me in. I won’t be crashing all of your and Yuta’s little movie dates,” Donghyuck said, making a dramatic pause and giving Sicheng a meaningful look, but before Sicheng could say anything back, Donghyuck quickly continued, “But, do expect me from time to time.” he finished theatrically.

Sicheng tried to push his arm away, but Donghyuck held on tighter. “I’m joking, I’m joking” he laughed and then added “I’m really glad we’re here together.” He was smiling brightly and Sicheng felt a strong fondness for his best friend. He squeezed Donghyuck’s hand that was now hanging off Sicheng’s shoulder.

“Me too. Now, let’s hurry up, Doyoung’s gonna kill us.”

Sicheng looked around, trying to orient himself and remember the way to Remy’s Patisserie. They passed by it earlier in the day, but he forgot where it was exactly. He wasn’t even thinking of asking Donghyuck, the guy was useless when it came to stuff like that. Then, he noticed Fantasia Carousel and knew they were close.

“Oh my god, imagine having your wedding here!” Donghyuck exclaimed loudly, pointing at the poster that was advertising Disney’s wedding offers. Sicheng looked at the couple on the poster, their huge smiles and beautiful outfits and surrounding.

He tried to imagine his own wedding. Yeah, he definitely wouldn’t mind having it in Disneyland, but he wasn’t so stuck on that. Where would he even find a guy who would agree to that? No, he was more concerned about the fact that he didn’t think he’ll ever meet someone he’ll want to marry.

Yes, he was still really young, but the problem was that he honestly didn’t think he’ll ever meet a person he’ll be able to call his soulmate. Because that’s what he wanted. Not just a person he would fall in love with and fit really well with, but that one person he would feel like was made for him.

Donghyuck’s skinny fingers, who were unnecessarily close to Sicheng’s face, snapped him back to reality. “Earth to Sicheng!”

“Ah yeah, it would be pretty cool” he offered absentmindedly. Then, his phone started ringing.

“Oh shit, that must be Doyoung.” He looked at the caller ID. “Yep, it’s him, wish me luck.” He answered right away, mentally preparing himself for his brother’s inevitable nagging. 

“I’m sorry, we got carried away, but we’ll be there in two seconds, literally.”

“Whatever, I’m in the smoking area, so come here. It’s really close to the bakery.”

Sicheng looked at Donghyuck, confusion written all over his face, which, as a result, made Donghyuck give him a questioning look and mouth what happened to him. Sicheng waved him off. 

“But, you don’t smoke, what are you doing there?” Next to him, Donghyuck seemed to have lost all the interest in their conversation. 

“You said two seconds, and it’s been more than a minute,” Doyoung said sternly.

“Got it, we’re on our way!”

The first thing Sicheng noticed as he was approaching the smoking area, was how loud Doyoung was laughing. It was unsettling, really. He must have noticed it too, because he put his hand over his mouth, trying to muffle the sound.

Next to him, there was a guy that looked around his brother’s age, holding a cigarette between his fingers. It seemed like he was a real comedian, because Doyoung couldn’t stop laughing at whatever this guy was telling him. He only stopped when he saw Sicheng and Donghyuck approaching them. 

“Hey guys, this is Jaehyun, we just met,” Doyoung said, pointing at the guy who waved and smiled prettily at them.

Sicheng thought this guy would probably look good doing anything. Donghyuck seemed to be sharing his sentiment, if the amazed look on his face was any indication. The pretty boy spoke, “Nice to meet you guys.” His voice was both deep and smooth, but also raspy, and when Sicheng looked at his brother, he could see Doyoung was greatly affected by this guy’s general presence. 

“I met him while waiting for you,” Doyoung made sure to give them a stern look before he continued, “He’s here with his girlfriend and he’s waiting for her to finish shopping, so we decided to wait together.” He looked at Jaehyun and they shared a small smile.

Jaehyun lit another cigarette. “I don’t know when she’ll be back, she’s not answering my texts.”

That word again. This guy apparently had a girlfriend. Which did not fit into Sicheng’s plans at all, since he was already planning his brother’s wedding with this guy. Jaehyun seemed decent enough, he was really handsome and nice. Obviously, no one will ever be good enough for Doyoung, but his brother seemed to like him. So the whole girlfriend thing just stood in a way of that. 

“So, how exactly did you and Doyoung meet? I mean, you’re here with your girlfriend, why did you just start talking to a random guy?” Sicheng asked with an exaggeratedly curious look on his face. Jaehyun either didn’t notice or didn’t really mind.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sicheng caught a disapproving look Doyoung was giving him. He quickly looked back at Jaehyun. 

“Oh, it’s a funny story actually! We both ordered a Mickey pretzel, but there was only one left, so we decided to split it.” He glanced at Doyoung before continuing “And then we started talking and realized we’re both transfer students at the same university here, how crazy is that?” 

Sicheng and Donghyuck exchanged looks. They had the ability to have whole conversations with just their eyes, and Donghyuck’s eyes were now telling him that they were on the same page with the whole Doyoung and Jaehyun thing. Yeah, it’s already become a thing.

“Really crazy!” said Sicheng.

“How romantic!” added Donghyuck. They all looked at him. “Sharing the Mickey pretzel part, not the uni part,” he clarified.

Doyoung looked positively murderous, while Jaehyun had a little smile on his face. He looked at Doyoung again. “They’re cute, I get what you were talking about.” 

Doyoung laughed loudly. “Right?”

Suddenly, Jaehyun’s phone started ringing. He looked at it and took a deep breath before answering. “Yeah, baby? Are you done?”

It wasn’t like Sicheng was intentionally listening to his conversation, but he couldn’t help but overhear.

“I’m in the smoking area with some friends.” A pause. “Just some people that I met.” Even though the voice on the other line was kind of high pitched and loud, Sicheng still couldn’t figure out what the other person was saying. “Ok, baby, see you soon.”

Jaehyun ended the call and looked up at Doyoung. “I guess she’s done with shopping, she’s coming over now.”

Doyoung smiled, but Sicheng could see in his eyes that he still didn’t want to say goodbye to Jaehyun. “Okay, we’ll also be going now, the kids are going out tonight, and I…also need to go” he trailed of awkwardly, wearing a shy smile.

Jaehyun apparently found this amusing. “You don’t seem to have any plans for tonight,” he said with a smile in his voice. “Do you maybe want to go out with me?”

Doyoung looked up, surprise written all over his face. Sicheng and Donghyuck shared a little victorious smile. Jaehyun’s eyes comically widened once he realized what he had just said.

“I meant with me and my friends, we’re going out for drinks later, so I just meant if you’re free, you can join us, but I mean, I might have misunderstood, maybe you already have something planned, also, you can stop me any time you want please, that would be great,” Jaehyun rapidly finished his rambling, laughing awkwardly. 

Doyoung was about to say something, when he was interrupted by a petite girl who called Jaehyun’s name. She was a pretty blonde, her long hair tied in a ponytail, and she was wearing a cute little dress and a big fake smile. Sicheng didn’t like her one bit.

Ignoring everyone present there, the girl put her hands around Jaehyun’s neck and asked him, in what she probably thought was a sweet way, but to Sicheng it just sounded whinny and annoying, “Baby, didn’t we say you’re not gonna smoke anymore, huh? You promised me!” she pouted.

Jaehyun looked slightly nervous and uncomfortable. He clearly just wanted to change the subject. He pointed at Doyoung, and then at Sicheng and Donghyuck.

“Aira, these are my new friends! This is Doyoung, this is his baby brother Sicheng, and this is his friend, Hyuck, was it?” He looked at Donghyuck questioningly. 

“Oh, yes, Hyuck, that’s me” Donghyuck replied awkwardly.

Aira gave them all a fake smile and turned back to her boyfriend. “Ok, baby let’s go! I’m tired.” 

There was tension in the air and the general atmosphere was really awkward. Sicheng found it kind of funny. They were in the middle of Disneyland, standing quietly next to the people they didn’t really know, not being sure if they should just go first or wait for the other two to make a move. Luckily, they didn’t have to think about it much longer. Jaehyun had an unreadable look on his face, until he looked at Doyoung again and his face immediately lit up.

“It was really nice meeting you.” He took Doyoung’s hand to shake it and looked him straight in the eyes. “I hope we see each other on campus sometimes.”

“Well, it’s a big campus. But, yeah, maybe we will.” Doyoung said simply. 

Aira looked bored out of her mind until she took a better look at Donghyuck. Then, she winked at him shamelessly. Next to her, Jaehyun and Doyoung were basically holding hands, prolonging their handshake as much as they could. 

Jaehyun seemed like he was silently debating something. “Maybe it’s better that we don’t take any risks. I’ll be at the campus coffee shop Monday at 9am.” He gave Doyoung one last smile and then turned around to say goodbye to Sicheng and Donghyuck. “See you guys!” With that, he left, dragging a protesting Aira away with him.

“It was just starting to get interesting!” they could still hear her from the distance.

Once they were sure the two had left, they all started talking at the same time. It was a mess of confusion, laughter and excitement, but the general impression was the same. What the fuck just happened?

“I kind of just realized something,” Donghyuck said loudly, talking over everyone. “If I don’t want something like that to happen, I need to do something about my life,” he said seriously.

“What are you talking about?” asked Sicheng.

“Well, this can be Mark very soon.” Donghyuck stated, like what he was thinking about was the most obvious thing to everybody else as well.

Sicheng and Doyoung shared a puzzled look. “What can be Mark?”

“How are you not seeing it? Mark is clearly Jaehyun, the panicked gay, and I’m the pathetic guy who didn’t say anything until it was too late!”

Doyoung had an annoyed look on his face. “I don’t see how that applies to me in this - ”

“So, clearly, Doyoung!” Donghyuck finished, not paying any attention to Doyoung’s protests.

He looked at them seriously and then took a deep breath. “Guys, it’s time.”

Sicheng looked at his best friend reassuringly, giving him the most supporting look he could muster. If he actually goes through with it, Sicheng will be so proud. He’s been watching Donghyuck pine after Mark for years now, and he was pretty sure Mark felt the same way. They were perfect together and Sicheng didn’t understand how someone could be that oblivious. If the right person is right next to you, how can you not do anything about it, always thinking there’s time, or worse, not even notice it? 

His train of thoughts was interrupted by a text he got. When he took out his phone, he saw that it was from Yuta. 

 

Yuta  
Heyyy! Is everything good? Are you having fun?? Buy me something nice! OOO

Yuta  
I miss you

 

A huge smile spread over Sicheng’s face after reading Yuta’s messages. When he looked up, Doyoung was already walking towards the exit. Sicheng pocketed his phone and ran after his brother. Donghyuck was nowhere in sight. He’ll answer Yuta later. There’s time.


	3. The world is different from yesterday, just from your smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng, Renjun and Donghyuck are juniors in high school  
> Yuta and Johnny are seniors   
> Chenle is a sophomore and Jisung is freshman

Renjun came to Sicheng’s life like a breath of fresh air. Between boring classes, chemistry club and his job at the local store, Sicheng was stuck in a rut. Every day was pretty much the same. He got up in the morning, went to school, went to Yuta’s after classes, met with Donghyuck; on the weekends he had work, and that was it. Until one day, when the change came in the form of a shy transfer student from China, who rocked Sicheng’s world from the first time he laid eyes on him. 

“Who is that?” Sicheng asked, pointing at the boy who just entered the school cafeteria and was looking around the room, confusion written all over his face. “I’ve seen him around a few times this week, he must be new.”

“Why must he be new if you’ve already seen him around a few times, this week only?” Johnny asked gratuitously, with a smug look on his face. Sicheng rolled his eyes.

“We’ve only been going to school for a week and I’ve never seen him around before this year. So, yeah, he’s new. And you’re just arguing with me for the sake of arguing” he cleverly pointed out.

Johnny pretended to think about what he just said, but Sicheng knew the little shit already had an answer. “True” he concluded.

“I know it’s true and I don’t exactly appreciate-“ Sicheng started to rant, when he was interrupted by the arrival of a tired looking Yuta, who carelessly threw his tray on the table. 

"Are you having one of your unnecessary fights again?" he asked them accusingly.

"It wasn't a fight, we were just -" Johnny started explaining, but Yuta spoke over him. Sicheng wasn't really appreciating these frequent interruptions, even if they were directed at Johnny.

"What did we say about petty fights?" he asked them condescendingly.

Sicheng and Johnny looked at each other and then reluctantly spoke at the same time. “Not to have them” they said, their heads hanging low.

Yuta, in his typical fashion, looked content after bringing peace to their, otherwise chaotic table. “Exactly!” he practically beamed in his seat. Then, he started on his sandwich.

Sicheng looked around the cafeteria, searching for the boy he saw earlier. There was something about him that drew his attention. He just wanted to get to know him. After looking for a few more seconds, Sicheng concluded he wasn't in the room anymore.

"Are you looking for your lover boy?" asked Johnny mockingly, who always seemed to know exactly what was going on in Sicheng’s head. It was unsettling. Yuta looked up curiously.

"Shut up!" Sicheng commanded. “And don't call him that!" he added, while throwing a piece of his salad at Johnny. He dodged it effortlessly.

"Who are we talking about?" Yuta asked indifferently. It didn't seem like he was really interested, rather like he was just asking to be in the loop. Sicheng appreciated Yuta’s lack of desire to make fun of him.

"The new kid, the one Sicheng has a crush on" Johnny said quickly, effectively preventing any of Sicheng's possible attempts to answer Yuta first. He had an awfully smug look on his face, too. Sicheng hated it. When he looked at Yuta, he found him was already looking back at him.

"I don't have a crush on the guy, okay! He just looks interesting. And besides, it looks like he still hasn’t made any friends here, he would probably appreciate the company” he reasoned. “But, I don’t have a crush.”

Across the table, Johnny was snickering and Yuta was still just looking at Sicheng, an unreadable expression on his face.

"I didn't say anything" he calmly said.

"Whatever, let's finish up, the class starts in five minutes."

 

Despite all of Sicheng’s attempts to speed Johnny up, his daily retelling of the conversation he had with Ten the previous night took longer than usual, which resulted in Sicheng being late to his chemistry class. And it was the first class of the year! Good thing he was Mr Min’s favourite student, otherwise he would probably get a tardy. 

When he finally arrived to the class, the only thing he actually got from his teacher was a disapproving look and an instruction on where to sit. Sicheng smiled gratefully and headed in the direction of his assigned seat. That’s when he noticed someone else was already sitting there. His heart sped up. It was that cute boy from before. Sicheng tried to look as casual as possible as he sat down next to him. 

“As I was saying before you came in, Mr Dong, your desk mate will also be your lab partner for the year, and in your case, that’s a very good thing. Mr. Huang was one of the top students in his previous school in China,” Mr Min informed him, with an impressed look on his face.

The whole class turned to look at the boy, who now looked rather uncomfortable, probably getting shy from all the attention he was receiving. Apparently done with the topic, Mr Min started his lesson, and everyone turned their attention back to him.

The boy next to him visibly relaxed. Then, for the first time, he looked at Sicheng, whose heart started pounding loudly.

“I’m Renjun” he smiled prettily at him.

“Sicheng” he answered plainly, not knowing what else to say. 

Renjun nodded and then turned around to start taking notes, Sicheng trying to do the same. After pretending to listen to Mr Min’s lecture for about two minutes, he finally gave up and started doodling in his notebook. He immersed himself in the drawing, when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. The sudden and unexpected touch startled him and he jumped slightly, but then immediately tried to compose himself upon seeing Renjun’s apologetic face.

“Oh, I’m sorry for startling you” he said quickly, big eyes looking intently at Sicheng.

“It’s ok” he smiled at him reassuringly and then remembered that, if he wanted to make any progress with this boy, he needed to show him he could actually utter two consecutive sentences in a row. Then, he noticed an open notebook lying on the table in front of Renjun, filled with drawings, which were all of the same, cute-looking character Sicheng didn’t recognize.

“Cool drawings” he said, pointing at the notebook. 

Renjun gave him a small smile. “Thanks, but yours are better.”

Sicheng frowned. “No, they’re not, yours are definitely better.’

He kind of found this whole conversation funny, but then he heard Renjun laughing and it wasn’t funny anymore. It was annoying, rather. Annoying how much affected he was by this boy doing practically nothing.

“Okay, we’re both amazing artists, let’s leave it at that” Renjun said, laugh still present in his voice. It was endearing how cute he was.

“I actually wanted to ask what you were drawing?” Renjun tilted his head slightly, waiting expectantly for Sicheng’s answer.

Sicheng looked at the filled page in front of him. Not his best work. “Oh, those are characters from Adventure Time. It’s a cartoon.”

“I’ve never heard of it” Renjun admitted, “But, now I’ll definitely check it out” he added cheerfully. 

Sicheng was about to ask him about the character he was drawing, when the bell interrupted him. Renjun started packing his things and Sicheng knew it was just a matter of seconds before he left the classroom, so if he wanted to say something else, he needed to do it immediately. 

“Um, do you want to have lunch with me and my friends tomorrow?” he asked awkwardly, hoping he didn’t sound too unsure. Those two seconds that took Renjun to answer his question felt like an eternity to Sicheng, who was more nervous than he was willing to admit.

A huge smile spread across Renjun’s face and Sicheng felt giddy. “I would love to. See you tomorrow, Sicheng.”

Sicheng never thought hearing someone say his name could make him feel that nice.

 

Later that day, Sicheng was still thinking about Renjun. What was it about him? He was pretty, sure, but he wasn't exactly what was considered handsome. He had more of a unique beauty to him, and maybe that was exactly what attracted Sicheng in the first place. He didn't know for sure. And Renjun was really cute, like extremely cute, the cutest person Sicheng has ever met. And the way he spoke! He seemed shy, but Sicheng had a feeling he wasn't really, not when you get to know him better. And Sicheng hoped he would. Get to know him. Oh, and he sounded smart as well!

Things were clearly getting out of hand. He had to see Donghyuck. His friend will know what to do.

"What do you mean what to do? Ask him out!"

Of course Donghyuck would suggest this, he's always been shameless and fearless (except when it came to Mark, but that was a forbidden subject at this point). And Sicheng is not. 

"I can't just ask him out, can I? I don't even know if he likes me like that! And we literally just met" Sicheng reasoned. The fact that he even liked Renjun after only one encounter and half a conversation was crazy on its own. He never liked anyone (a lie, but that whole thing was in the past anyway, so Sicheng didn't count it; also, the fact that nobody knew about it made it easier for Sicheng to pretend that it never happened). 

Donghyuck clearly wasn't satisfied with this response. He lit a cigarette and took a sip of his disgustingly sweet coffee. "You never like anyone. Then this guy comes along and you have all these mushy feelings for him-"

"I don't have feelings for him" Sicheng protested.

Donghyuck just continued, not appreciating the sudden interruption, by the look of him. "And want to marry him" he said pointedly "So I don't see what the problem is here."

Sicheng knew Donghyuck was right, but he also knew that the guy should take his own advice. And he was ready to tell him so. Unfortunately, he forgot his friend knew him very well and could often foresee his thoughts and reactions.

"If you mention Mark I'm walking out" he beat him to it.

Sicheng smiled victoriously. "And why shouldn't I mention Mark? You should really take your own advice before you decide to share it with the world." 

"Oh, I knew you would say that, you're so predictable, you know?"

"And you're not? I knew exactly what you were gonna tell me!"

"Then why did you call me?" Donghyuck asked incredulously.

"I don't know!" Sicheng shouted, not really knowing why he was yelling all of a sudden. Yuta called it the Hyuck effect. 

He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Hyuck. I called you because you're my best friend, obviously" he smiled apologetically.

Donghyuck took a drag of his cigarette. "It's worse than I thought, you're really into this guy" he concluded.

"It's not just that, I really do think you should do something about your feelings for Mark" he said matter-of-factly, but quickly continued in a different direction upon seeing the look on his best friend's face "BUT, I get that we're not talking about that now, so" he trailed off.

“Let’s not talk about Mark here, please” Donghyuck said and then quickly turned around to see if anyone important heard what they were talking about. Sicheng knew they won’t talk about it, no matter the place, but Donghyuck looked tired and unwilling to discuss the topic, so he decided to let it go for now.

"Jisung has been texting me the whole week" Sicheng started conversationally.

"The little shit didn't text me once."

"Don't call him that" Sicheng said, for what felt like a millionth time in his life. He knew it was a losing battle. "And he only calls me to ask about where certain classrooms are and stuff like that, but when I offered to give him a little tour, he sent me a bunch of cry laugh emojis. So." 

Honestly, that was on him, he should've known that kind of offer was gonna be refused or made fun of. It's not that Jisung was embarrassed of them, but yeah, actually, that was the only possible explanation for his behaviour these days.

Donghyuck was now quietly laughing. "That was pretty funny, why would you even ask him that? You know how he's been the last year or so." 

And that was true. During the past year, Jisung has become a sulky teenager, who was embarrassed of his oldest friends. 

The three of them have been living on the same street ever since Jisung's family moved there when he was 5 years old. Sicheng and Donghyuck had already been best of friends when Jisung came to their neighbourhood, a friendless kid too shy to talk to anyone. They quickly decided to befriend him and take him under their wing. Of course, at the age of 6 and 7, that meant to sometimes let the kid play with them and invite him to their weekly trips to the ice cream parlour they went on with their parents.

Jisung, of course, was over the moon that older kids gave him any attention, let alone wanted to play with him. The unlikely friendship continued over the years, even after Donghyuck moved away, but about a year ago, Jisung got to that age where his personality became more pronounced.

And what a personality that was.

The kid was a menace. He was no longer afraid of opposing and disagreeing with Sicheng and Donghyuck, and he took every opportunity to defy them and show them how uncool they actually were. Long gone was little Jisung who was happy just to be in their company. 

Sicheng didn't hold it against him, though. Jisung was going through puberty and it was hitting him hard, but Sicheng knew that, deep down, he was still the same little Jisung who once cried because he couldn't start school the same time he and Donghyuck did and he didn’t want them to be apart.

“But he did tell me about this kid, I forgot his name. I think he’s Chinese? Jisung mentioned they met in summer school and now they’re taking some classes together.”

“Again, he didn’t tell me anything about that either!” Donghyuck said loudly.

A few people turned to look at them, but Donghyuck either didn’t notice or didn’t care. They were sitting in their favourite coffee shop, the one they’ve been visiting ever since they started high school and couldn’t see each other regularly anymore. 

After elementary school, Donghyuck’s family moved to the other part of the city and, since then, they would meet half way, which just happened to be in a coffee shop Mark was working at.

It all started in their freshman year, when Donghyuck noticed a very cute and shy boy in his eco class. He then saw him on the school basketball court and learned that he was the team captain. Soon after, with his remarkable stalker skills, Donghyuck found out that the boy had a part time job at a nice little coffee shop, which then became his and Sicheng’s meeting spot. 

Since then, Donghyuck and Mark became friends, really close friends, the ones who see each other almost every day, so sneaky spying at Mark’s work place was no longer necessary, but they still kept coming there, falling in love with the place somewhere along the way. 

“He was always more comfortable with me anyway” Sicheng said, knowing it would drive the other mad.

Donghyuck looked appalled. “How dare you, take that back!”

Sicheng laughed, without any intentions of taking anything back. It was true, after all.

Donghyuck seemed deep in thoughts. “Wait, why is the fact that he’s more comfortable with you relative to him talking about that kid?” Realization hit him and he whisper-shouted “Oh my god, does Jisung like that boy?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I had the same reaction, internally of course, when he told me about it, but I couldn’t really figure it out. And the only thing Jisung actually told me was that the kid was the only one worth his time. So who knows what that means.”

“That’s a pretty big compliment, coming from Jisung. This kid must be special if our Jisung chooses to spend his time with him” Donghyuck said seriously. Sicheng nodded affirmatively. 

“Well, there’s only one way to know for sure” concluded Donghyuck.

“We need to meet the kid?”

“We need to meet him!”

 

The next day, Sicheng was not embarrassed to admit that he took more than usual to get ready in the morning. Normally, he didn’t pay much attention to his outfit or his hair, usually just throwing on the first thing he would find.

Today, though, he figured he would put a little more effort into it, so he decided on a nice shirt his mom bought him for Christmas last year. He even tried to style his hair. Then, he took a photo of his outfit and sent it to Donghyuck, who responded by calling him a cute bitch. Sicheng decided to take it as a compliment.

Sicheng was fine when he got to school and during the first couple of classes, which he attributed to the fact that none of them were shared with Johnny. But, with the lunch break rapidly approaching, he started to become more and more nervous. 

The worst thing was, he didn't discuss any details with Renjun, so he didn't know what to expect. Should he approach him first, before the break? If yes, where does he find him? Sicheng should've properly stalked him, Donghyuck knew a thing or two about life, after all. Will Renjun just come over to their table? What if he doesn't spot them? Should Sicheng call after him or is that too forward? By the time the last class before lunch had finished, he was properly freaking out.

After leaving the classroom, he saw Yuta waiting for him outside. He did that sometimes, when he had football practice and would finish earlier, he would walk to Sicheng's classroom and wait for him outside, and then they would go to cafeteria together.

When Yuta noticed him, he smiled. Sicheng couldn't help but smile back. "What got you smiling so widely?" he asked him teasingly.

Yuta pretended to think about his question. "Oh, I don't know, seeing the prettiest boy in the world certainly helped."

Sicheng rolled his eyes. Yuta would always say cringeworthy things like this, which often made Sicheng question his sense of humour and, more importantly, people's taste, since Yuta was known as a funny guy.

"Practice was really good, coach loves me, I think he'll maybe even make me a captain next year" he said proudly.

Sicheng grinned in return. "That's great Yukkuri." He knew Yuta loved the nickname and he was proven right when his friend practically beamed at him upon hearing it.

"I love it when you call me that" he said dramatically, taking Sicheng’s hand in his. Sicheng thought his eyes would fall out from the excessive eye-rolling he did whenever Yuta was in one of his moods.

"Stop flirting with everyone" he said, taking his hand out of Yuta's grip. 

At that, Yuta pouted cutely, but then a small smile appeared on his face. "I don't flirt with everyone."

They were in front of the cafeteria now and Sicheng was once again amazed by how he always tended to forget about his worries whenever he was with Yuta. He completely forgot about Renjun until he practically bumped into him at the cafeteria entrance. Yuta continued walking until he noticed Sicheng had stopped. Renjun smiled shyly at him.

"Hey" he said simply and gave him a little wave. Cute. 

Yuta looked at Sicheng questioningly, who then remembered he needed to speak.

"Ah, yes. Yuta, this is Renjun" he pointed at the said boy, "and Renjun, this is Yuta, my best friend" he finished quickly. The boys exchanged polite smiles. Then, Yuta brought his attention back to Sicheng. 

"Best friend? Oooh, I need to text Hyuck real quick" Yuta joked and Sicheng rolled his eyes.

"One of my best friends, okay" he corrected herself. Then, he noticed Renjun was just awkwardly standing next to him, probably not knowing what to say. Sicheng turned to look at him, giving him a small smile.

"You're sitting with us, yeah?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound too hopeful. 

Renjun's face changed at that and that's when Sicheng remembered the boy was actually leaving the cafeteria when he bumped into him. Could it be that Renjun was looking for him and then changed his mind about sitting with him when he couldn’t find him? It must be that. Everything was Yuta's fault, of course, if he hadn't distracted Sicheng with his stupid distractions, he would've remembered to be there on time!

"I'm sorry, my friend asked me to help him with something” Renjun began to explain, “It's school related and he’s already behind, so I couldn’t say no” he finished, looking really apologetic about the whole thing. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but seemingly changed his mind.

Sicheng certainly was disappointed, but he hoped he wasn’t too obvious about it. He smiled in hopes of hiding his discontent. "It's okay, go, of course! There'll be other times" he said and then hurriedly added "If you still want to, of course.”

Renjun smiled widely. He seemed to do that a lot, around Sicheng at least. That's not to say that Sicheng thought he smiled a lot because of him, he could just be a generally cheerful person, but a boy could hope. "Of course I want to" he reassured him quickly and then carefully added "You can come with me now, if you want to."

Sicheng was surprised at the sudden offer. "I don't want to intrude, it's okay, we'll just do it another time" he said, not really knowing if Renjun just asked to be polite, or if he really wanted him there.

Renjun looked determined. "You're not intruding, I promise" he said decidedly and then added a bit shyly "I really want you there."

Next to him, Yuta scoffed. Sicheng almost forgot he was there. He gave him a meaningful look, which he hoped transferred that he wanted to be left alone with Renjun, even if that meant accompanying him to a tutoring session, where Sicheng didn't even know the other kid. Which was kind of sad, if he thought about it. He's gonna look too eager if he just says yes right away. Yuta seemed to share his sentiment, if the weird look he was giving him was any indication, and then he started to excuse himself, saying that he needed to start on his lunch if he wanted to finish it before the break was over. Without sparing them another look, he entered the cafeteria and went to sit with Johnny at their usual table. This might have looked weird to Renjun, but Sicheng was used to Yuta's abrupt mood swings. He'll just suggest they move their monthly Disney marathon to some day this week. That will surely make Yuta feel better. For now, he had a cute guy waiting for his response.

"Let's go then."

 

In Sicheng’s defence, he was easily surprised, sometimes even the smallest things stunned him, so that’s why, when he entered the classroom where Renjun’s friend was waiting for them and saw Jisung, literally sucking face with another boy, he screamed. The two boys immediately broke apart and Jisung had a look of horror on his face when he noticed him. Renjun kept looking between them, confusion written all over his face, and the boy Jisung was making out with, just moments ago, seemed amused about the whole thing.

“Jisung, what are you doing?” Sicheng screamed, aware that he was probably reacting badly to the situation, but he couldn’t help feeling like a mother who caught her only son kissing another boy. He didn’t mind, of course, he was practically surrounded by boys who liked other boys, with Donghyuck as their president, and he liked boys himself, but he was caught off guard. Here he was, thinking he was going to spend some time with his crush and some clueless kid, but instead, he was subjected to witnessing his literal child locking lips with a boy.

Jisung, on his part, had a decency to look embarrassed and he couldn’t exactly meet Sicheng’s eyes. “Sorry” he said quietly. The boy (his boyfriend?) took Jisung’s hand in his.

Sicheng’s heart melted and he quickly came to his senses. This was his baby. His baby, who was apparently growing up, but was still the same little boy. And he was currently likely under impression that Sicheng was freaking out about him kissing another boy, or worse, that he was actually angry. Like he could ever!

Before Jisung had a chance to say anything else, Sicheng crossed the room in three quick steps and hugged him. He was so surprised, he didn’t even try to push him away or break free from the hug, and Sicheng even thought he noticed him leaning in a little bit.

“What are you sorry for, huh?” he asked him softly, but Jisung just shook his head. Sicheng kept holding him and after a few more moments of their peaceful embrace, Jisung slowly started to break apart from the hug. They smiled at each other before Jisung turned around to introduce Sicheng to someone.

“This is Chenle” he said while pointing at the boy. Chenle smiled brightly at Sicheng. “Jisung talks about you a lot.”

“No, I don’t” Jisung argued, hitting Chenle playfully in the arm. Then, they started bickering about something Sicheng couldn’t understand and that’s when he noticed Renjun coming to stand next to him. 

“So, interesting turn of events” he chuckled. Sicheng was, once again, reminded just how much he enjoyed that sound. 

“Yeah. I don’t think you’ll get anything done, though, the break’s almost over.”

“That’s okay. These were some pretty eventful 10 minutes, I don’t think the kids would be able to handle any math problems now.”

Jisung sneered at them. “We can hear you, you know.”

Next to him, Chenle smiled wickedly and then looked at Renjun, what seemed like fake innocence adorning his face. “Oh, Renjun, is this the boy you couldn’t stop talking about the whole day yesterday and also this morning when you called me to ask-“ he started, but was violently interrupted by a scary-looking Renjun who practically jumped on him in order to shut him up.

He put one of his hands over Chenle’s mouth and the other around his neck. Chenle couldn’t stop laughing, and the sound of it, even though it was muffled by Renjun’s hand, reminded Sicheng of a dolphin’s cry. Adorable.

Sicheng was very amused by this side of Renjun’s personality, and the new information, about the other boy possibly being interested in him made him feel giddy.

The fight continued for a few more seconds, when Renjun decided to finally let Chenle go, but not before he gave him one last kick in the butt. Jisung laughed and carefully put Chenle in his lap. Sicheng didn’t know how to feel about that one. Luckily, he didn’t have to think about it for too long, before Renjun approached him again.

“Okay, so, we didn’t really get a chance to talk that much, and I wanted to ask you something.”

Sicheng’s heart sped up. “Yeah?”

Renjun took a deep breath. “ Do you want to go out with me?”

Not expecting this question, Sicheng froze for a second, not knowing exactly how to answer. Obviously, the answer was yes, but how does he say it? Just yes, or, I do, maybe? Or was that too much? Renjun must have mistaken Sicheng’s silence for indecision, or worse, rejection, because he hurried to explain himself further. “I know we only talked once and we don’t really know each other, but I noticed you even before the class yesterday and I wanted to get to know you better” he said in one breath.

Sicheng couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Yes, I want to” he said simply, not being able to hide a little smile that appeared on his face after seeing Renjun’s, equally happy expression. 

Loud cheers could be heard in the background and Sicheng even heard Chenle scream “Long live the newlyweds” as Jisung imitated throwing rice at them. And to think that Jisung was ever embarrassed by him. He just lost all of his embarrassment privileges. For at least a month.

 

Over the next few days, Sicheng was really busy, enough so that he almost didn't have time to think about Renjun and their upcoming date. They agreed to go out on Saturday, but still haven't decided on the exact time and place, Sicheng preferring for Renjun to take initiative when it came to that. He was very excited, yes, but chose not to think about it too much, because he didn't want his whole week to pass in anticipation.

Instead, he decided to start on his school work and spend some quality time with Johnny and Yuta. 

Lately, he's been spending more time with Donghyuck, and he kind of neglected his other friends. It wasn't intentional, of course, but balancing the time spent with his friends has always been a bit tricky. He kind of felt obligated to meet with Donghyuck often, because he didn’t see him in school everyday, unlike his other friends. But, he knew it wasn't the same, seeing someone in school everyday and actually spending quality time with them, something Johnny and Yuta also liked to remind him of, quite often.

He didn't have a chance to watch a movie with Yuta yesterday, like he planned to, because he was too excited about everything that happened with Renjun and he had to go to Donghyuck's and tell him everything. So, he thought today would be a perfect day for that. If Yuta agreed, of course. He was in a bitchy mood since the other day, ever since that lunch break actually, and Sicheng had no idea what caused it this time.

Usually, Yuta's mood swings wouldn't affect him, and, even if he hated the whole world, he would still be nice to Sicheng. This time, though, he was particularly annoyed at Sicheng, it seemed, because he didn't seem to have a problem with Johnny. But still, nothing a Disney movie and shit ton of food can’t solve. Or so he thought.

 

“I can’t today, I’m busy” was all Yuta had to say to his movie plans for that night, barely even sparing him a glance. Sicheng frowned.

“With what?” he asked, slightly annoyed that he would just brush him off like that.

Yuta still seemed uninterested in the conversation, instead giving all of his attention to trying to open his locker, a task he made look a lot more difficult than it should be. “I think it’s actually stuck” he mumbled, more to himself. Sicheng was starting to lose his patience.

“You’re busy with what, Yuta?” he asked, trying to sound as calm as possible. They almost never fought, rarely even argued, and Sicheng wanted it to stay that way.

Yuta looked at him, finally abandoning the damn locker, and sighed deeply. “I have a date” he said, in a way that made him seem tired and entirely done with the conversation.

“What?” Sicheng asked dumbly.

Yuta gave him a look. “I’m going on a date tonight, that’s why I can’t watch a movie with you.” 

Sicheng could only blink, dumbfounded by what he was hearing. He was aware that he looked and sounded very shocked, but that's exactly how he felt. Maybe Yuta going on a date shouldn't be so weird, but it was, since it almost never happened. They didn't usually discuss it, and Sicheng always assumed Yuta just wasn't that interested in the prospect of dating, since he didn't date anyone after Sana. Which Sicheng completely understood and kind of related to.

Then, all of a sudden, after more than a year of not mentioning anything about his love life, he decides to just throw this piece of information at Sicheng, very casually, too.

Also, who is this person, anyway? Does Sicheng know them? Is this their first date or has this been going on for a while? Sicheng didn't know which would be worse. He decided to just get on with it and ask what was on his mind; he wasn't the one to beat around the bush anyway and Yuta often liked to play dumb.

"Do I know them?"

Yuta took a while answering this question, too, and Sicheng was beginning to think he was doing it on purpose, just to annoy him. "I don't think you do, I met her through dance practice."

"Then I probably don't."

"Probably."

It was clear that he didn't want to talk anymore, all of his attention once again on the stupid locker. There was nothing else Sicheng could do, except to leave. Somehow, that didn't sit well with him.

He was about to try and make things with Yuta right someway, when he noticed a familiar figure on his left, trying to get his attention. Sicheng turned around to look at Renjun and couldn't help a big smile threatening to show on his face. Yuta noticed him too, and the look on his face upon seeing him was the one Sicheng never wanted to see again.

"Go, you don't want to make your boyfriend wait" he said with such venom, that Sicheng didn't want to spend one more second with him.

Without sparing Yuta another glance, he turned around and joined Renjun, but a painful feeling in his chest stayed there a long time after he had left.


	4. Like is such a common word, not enough to express my feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This happens a few days after where the last chapter left off

"You look great!"

Sicheng examined his reflection in the mirror, unsure if this outfit was the one. They went through half of his closet and he still didn't find the perfect combination that he was 100% satisfied with.

"I don't know, Donghyuck, this isn't really me," he said finally, after looking in the mirror one more time.

"You can be whoever you want to be, sweetie," Donghyuck said thoughtfully.

"I don't really think I want to be this -" he struggled to find the right words "- bad ass? I don't think Renjun would like it, either." The pants Donghyuck decided on were too tight and had way too many holes, beneath it were fishnet tights, and the worst thing was that he paired it all with a crop top that was equally as provoking. The whole outfit was black, of course, and Sicheng couldn't help but think that he looked a little ridiculous wearing it.

Donghyuck looked like he was slowly starting to lose his patience. "It doesn't matter what he likes, it's about what you like."

Sicheng rolled his eyes. "I know that, Donghyuck, that's what I'm saying, I don't like it either."

"Well, then why do you even have these clothes in your closet?" he yelled.

"I don't know, stop making me even more nervous than I already am!" Sicheng screamed back.

Donghyuck looked deep in thought. "Okay, this calls for another expert."

"But where is the first one?" Sicheng asked, barely managing to keep laughter out of his voice.

Donghyuck didn't look impressed at all. "Wow, no jam," he said, looking almost disappointed that his friend would make a joke like that. "Anyway, the other expert is Johnny, and the first one is clearly me."

"Yeah, yeah, but why would Johnny be better at fashion than me?" Sicheng asked incredulously, genuinely not understanding why Donghyuck thought such lowly of him.

"He just is, okay? And you clearly don't appreciate my expertise, so maybe you'll appreciate his. He's the one who'll put you in a suit and make you look all serious and handsome."

"Because, that's clearly what I want?" Sicheng asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Exactly!" Donghyuck exclaimed, giving him an exaggerated wink.

Sicheng rolled his eyes at him. "No, it's not. I don't even know why I called you, I should've just picked something myself."

"Because you knew you were in desperate need of help," he said quickly. "Now, let me just text Johnny real quick," he said and then promptly continued, stopping Sicheng before he even had a chance to protest "Now's not the time to change your mind, you have a date in three hours!"

"Like I don't know that!" Sicheng screamed, now stressed more then ever.

He was incredibly nervous about the upcoming date, even though he kind of knew Renjun liked him back. It was pretty obvious. Still, he couldn't help but feel like he was gonna say or do something stupid in front of the other boy, which would eventually make him regret ever asking Sicheng out. Usually, he was very confident and sure of himself, especially when it came to his brain, but there was just something about Renjun that made him insecure. Sicheng didn't like that feeling at all.

"Johnny's on his way" Donghyuck informed him, effectively interrupting his train of thoughts.

He put his phone away, but immediately got another text. And this one was from Mark, Sicheng was ready to bet his life on it.

There was this look Donghyuck sometimes made when he talked to Mark, got a text from Mark, or even just thought about the older boy. Sicheng made a mistake of mentioning it to Donghyuck one time and things got ugly.

The thing was, Sicheng knew about Donghyuck's feelings for Mark, because Donghyuck told him himself. They were extremely drunk when it happened, though, and Donghyuck regretted it immensely the next morning. He asked Sicheng not to talk about it and he agreed, but he still didn't understand why it was such a big deal to Donghyuck. It was one thing if he didn't want to confess to Mark, but not ever talking about it with his best friend was too extreme (Okay, maybe Sicheng has done the same thing in the past, but he was younger then, more stupid). Sicheng thought he was too closed off and Donghyuck thought he was being noisy. In the end, a silent agreement was made, where Sicheng only talked about Donghyuck’s raging crush when it was extremely necessary and Donghyuck only talked about it when he was extremely drunk. Stupid agreement, really, but Sicheng had to take what he could get.

Donghyuck was now smiling widely, that look he only reserved for Mark appearing on his face.

"Is it okay if Mark comes?" he asked nonchalantly. Right.

"Of course. You guys have plans?"

"No, he said he wanted to see me cause he missed me. We haven't seen each other all week. He hasn't been coming to school because the nationals are next Tuesday," Donghyuck said, sounding indifferent. He also had this thing where he would pretend not to be affected when Mark did things like this. Sicheng, once again, thought he was being ridiculous.

"You know, it's okay to be happy when Mark's being like this, Hyuck," he said softly, careful not to upset his best friend.

Donghyuck couldn't hide a small smile that appeared on his face. "I know, I am."

Sicheng decided to count this as a small triumph.

The doorbell rang, announcing Johnny's arrival. Sicheng sent a silent prayer to whoever was listening to let him survive the joined forces of Donghyuck and Johnny. The two of them were already a lot as they were, but combined, they were a nightmare.

"Hyuck, my man!" Sicheng heard Johnny's loud voice from the hallway. Luckily, his parents weren't home, otherwise, they would probably get annoyed at how unnecessarily loud Johnny was being.

They entered Sicheng's room together, all chummy, until Johnny saw him and literally screamed, immediately putting some distance between himself and Donghyuck. He then looked at him accusingly. "What did you do to my boy?" Johnny asked seriously. Sicheng rolled his eyes. There wasn't in between with Johnny. He was either incredibly rude to Sicheng or unbelievably protective of him. In this particular case, though, Sicheng was happy he had Johnny on his side, even though he was going very dramatic about it.

Donghyuck looked mildly offended. "That's what I get when I'm surrounded by people who don't appreciate my talents" he said wistfully. He quickly came back to his senses. "Doesn't matter, let's just make him look hot already!"

Now it was Sicheng's turn to be offended. "Excuse me, I always look hot."

"If you wanted a confidence boost you should've called Yuta" Donghyuck said matter-of-factly.

There was a shift in the air as soon as he said it. Johnny apparently knew something about their little fight, since he was giving Sicheng a curious look. That meant Yuta had talked to him about it, which meant the whole thing was even a bigger deal than Sicheng thought it was. Donghyuck didn't seem to notice anything, though.

"He doesn't need Yuta for that when I'm here" Johnny said, giving Sicheng a big smile. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing he was there, after all.

"That's incredibly hypocritical of you Johnny, any other day and you would roast the shit out of him," Donghyuck pointed out.

"Well, I'm feeling generous today, okay? Don't rain on my parade."

"Oh my God, that was so lame, I can't believe I thought you were cool," Donghyuck said, sounding scandalized.

Johnny's face visibly lit up at that. "You thought I was cool?"

Sicheng was starting to get bored by this interaction, so he took out his phone, wanting to relax for a bit and watch some cute animal videos. Instead, he found a text from Renjun. Sicheng silently instructed his heart to calm the fuck down. He couldn't be like this, he needed to calm down and not react this way to a fucking text message. Of course Renjun would text him, they have a date in about two hours. The content of the message was somewhat disappointing, he was just confirming time and place, but he did add a heart. Sicheng quickly texted him back and then put his phone away.

"Okay boys, it's time! You can continue your gossiping later, right now I'm the biggest hit on this stage," Sicheng said, only half-joking. By the looks of it, he didn't interrupt anything important, as his friends were apparently talking about school. Sicheng couldn't believe these losers.

"Rude, but yeah, I agree. Let's go, let's go!" Johnny said hurriedly. "Hyuck, you can get us some snacks." Donghyuck nodded and left towards the kitchen.

"Chocolate milk for me!" Sicheng screamed after Donghyuck.

"You're not drinking milk before your date!" his friend yelled back.

The doorbell rang again, and soon, Mark was standing in Sicheng's room, a tired look on his face. Sicheng felt sorry for the boy. He's been practicing nonstop for the last few weeks in order to prepare for the nationals. Johnny gave him a little wave and Sicheng went to give him a hug. As always, it took a second for Mark to adjust to it.

"I'm getting ready for a date," he informed him, as a way of explaining why everyone seemed so frantic, excitement evident in his voice.

"Oh, is it like a special date, like an anniversary or something?"

Sicheng didn't know what Mark was talking about, and judging by everyone else's faces, neither did they. "What are you talking about?"

Mark now looked very confused and slightly nervous, probably wondering if he'd said something wrong. He gave Donghyuck a "help me" look. After not getting a desired reaction from him, as Donghyuck just shrugged, Mark turned back to Sicheng and slowly and carefully said "Are you not with Yuta anymore?"

Any other day and Sicheng would start laughing at this. People confusing his close friendships with relationships was always amusing to him, and the fact that Mark did it too, who was a friend, made the whole thing even funnier. Sicheng didn't feel like laughing now, though, and he completely blamed Yuta for that. He just had to go and make things awkward, when they absolutely didn't need to be. And without a real reason, as well!

Sensing it would be weird not to laugh it off, he faked amusement, saying "Mark, you're absolutely ridiculous. How do you even come up with stuff like this?"

Mark laughed awkwardly, probably still not understanding what was going on. Luckily, Donghyuck jumped in. "They were never together, they're just close, you loser," he said, not managing to keep fondness out of his voice, even when insulting Mark. Sicheng wondered if he was the only one who noticed these things, or if Donghyuck was just really obvious.

Wide eyed and genuinely surprised, Mark then started wondering, out loud, what could have possibly made him believe Sicheng and Yuta were dating. That only started an even bigger discussion about all the times he and Yuta acted like a couple.

"No, no, I have a good one!” Johnny practically screamed, waving his hands hectically. “Remember that time Sicheng missed one day of school because he had a flu, and Yuta tried to get his mom on the phone the whole morning, even though she had an important business meeting which the whole company depended on, just to ask her for the recipe of the soup Sicheng once complimented when Yuta’s mom sent it from Japan," Johnny spoke excitedly, continuing immediately, "And then he literally ran home after classes to make Sicheng the soup, and you know how he can't cook to save his life, then ran to his place, and I literally mean running, we were all surprised he didn't spill anything," Johnny stopped for a bit, needing to take a breath, but quickly resumed, "Of course, the soup was shit, but our Sicheng here didn't want to make Yuta sad, so he said he loved it and then immediately proved it by eating the whole bowl."

Everyone was laughing by the time Johnny finished his story, and even Sicheng couldn’t hide a little smile that appeared on his face, even though that was mostly because of the way Johnny told the story, exaggerating and dramatizing the events as always.

“It didn’t happen exactly like that,” he tried, deep down knowing that he was again fighting a losing battle. The look Johnny gave him confirmed all his thoughts.

“Well, that’s how I remember it!” he said, a clear finality to his voice.

Sicheng rolled his eyes. “You weren’t even there for the most of it!”

Donghyuck, who was still recovering from the fit of laughter he previously broke into, managed to calm down a bit, but enough to side with Johnny. “That’s exactly how I remember it too!” Johnny gave him a high five and Donghyuck suggested they made their own handshake. Worst friends ever.

And like that wasn’t enough, Donghyuck had to involve innocent Mark into their little act of betrayal, by asking him to confirm their slightly exaggerated story. Mark at least didn’t do it right away, glancing at Sicheng apologetically before agreeing with the other two. Sicheng won’t hold it against him, he suspected it wasn’t that easy for Mark to refuse Donghyuck, after all.

Sicheng soon decided he had had enough of this flippant behaviour and threw Donghyuck and Johnny out of his room, despite their loud protests. Mark had a small smile on his face. 

“Okay, now that the losers are gone, let’s get to it!”

Forty-five minutes later, and Sicheng was ready for the night. He and Mark decided on a simple pink shirt, jeans and a denim jacket in case it got cold. He also bothered to style his hair and Donghyuck even talked him into wearing subtle makeup, the kind you don’t really notice, but it makes you look prettier. Mark ended up being extremely helpful, not that Sicheng was surprised. He always liked Mark’s fashion sense, and he now found out that the boy also knew a thing or two about make up.

“I picked up a few things from watching Hyuck look at those makeup tutorials on YouTube” he said calmly, while trying to decide which ring would go best with the rest of Sicheng’s outfit. 

Sicheng smiled at that. He could almost see it, Donghyuck sprawled out on Mark’s bed with a phone in his hands, watching various makeup videos, probably knowing he’ll never try the looks himself, but enjoying the content nevertheless. Donghyuck didn’t really have interest in wearing makeup himself, he was just admiring their skills. And, apparently, Mark was admiring Donghyuck.

“Do you usually watch Donghyuck while he’s on his phone, or was that just a one time thing?” Sicheng asked him playfully, smirking slightly. Unlike with Donghyuck, he knew he could tease Mark about stuff like this without getting glares and crude words thrown at him. Another difference was that Mark blushed easily, and this time it was even worse than usual.

“That’s not what I meant, he always shows them to me!” Mark defended himself in a poor attempt to hide how flustered he actually was. Or at least, that’s how it looked to Sicheng. But, he could never know with those two anymore. “And, anyway, he’s always all over me, of course I’m aware of everything he does.”

Sicheng quickly looked up from folding his clothes. Surely, Mark had to realize how terrible that sounded. Judging by his face, he regretted everything he said as soon as it came out from his mouth.

“That came out wrong, I didn’t mean it like that” he waived his hands frantically. Then he stopped, as if to compose himself, and carefully continued, “I just meant that he’s really touchy when we’re together, especially when we’re alone, so it’s hard for me not to notice every little thing he does.”

“Does it bother you? When he’s being touchy?” Sicheng always thought Mark didn’t have a problem with it; sure, he wasn’t the one for skinship, but he never seemed to mind when Donghyuck initiated it.

“Not at all,” he answered instantly and Sicheng smiled at him appreciatively. 

Silence fell over the room and Sicheng felt like he could use some quiet time to sort his thoughts and calm his anxious heart. As his date was rapidly approaching, he only felt more and more nervous. He still kind of hoped the nerves would go away once he saw Renjun. Just thinking about it made his stomach flip uncomfortably. Oh god, what if he won’t be able to handle being in Renjun’s presence and will have to lie and give some bad excuse for leaving earlier and he-

“I think I like boys.”

Sicheng jolted, not expecting to hear Mark’s voice, almost forgetting he wasn’t alone in his bedroom. The weight of Mark’s words quickly brought him back to his senses. Sicheng couldn’t say he was surprised by the fact that Mark liked boys, but he definitely wasn’t expecting a confession any time soon. Was this about Donghyuck? And should he even ask? He decided the situation required tact and delicacy, both of which he actually possessed, so he carefully asked “Any particular boy?” He did it as casually as he could, despite his whole being wanting to give Mark a thousand meaningful looks until he realized what Sicheng was trying to convey without actually having to say the words. 

Mark was looking at him, without trying to break eye contact, and Sicheng admired his courage. His eyes were huge, but he didn’t seem uncomfortable or scared, not even shy. Maybe it was a long time coming and he had time to prepare what he was gonna say, although it seemed to Sicheng that this was more of a sudden outburst than a planned thing.

“I’m not exactly sure-“

His bedroom door suddenly burst open, and in came Donghyuck and Johnny, both looking, what Sicheng interpreted as, a little guilty. He quickly glanced at Mark and found him already looking his way. Sicheng gave him his best ‘your secret is safe with me’ look, hoping that he managed to communicate his thoughts to Mark. He then turned to look at the other two, who now looked at him impatiently. 

“Which shoes were you planning on wearing tonight?” Donghyuck asked.

“I don’t know, we haven’t decided yet,” Sicheng replied. “Why?” he asked suspiciously.

Johnny gave a tiny little laugh, a sound so unusual for him, that Sicheng knew right away they did something wrong. “What did you do?” he asked them sharply, not caring if he sounded too rough. 

“I might have spilled coffee on your white shoes.” Johnny said apologetically. “I’m sorry.”

“And I might have broken some figurine that was on the table while trying to save it from Johnny’s spilled coffee,” Donghyuck added unhelpfully.

Sicheng couldn’t believe these assholes, ruining his shoes and breaking things, when they should be helping him. He’s never inviting them over again. Quickly standing up, he started walking in their direction. They both visibly gulped, even though Johnny tried to cover it up with a nonchalant expression. What a fool.

“I can’t deal with your shit right now, but you’re gonna wash them yourself, and I’m not gonna notice any difference when you’re done. They’re gonna look like new. Understood?”

Sicheng had Johnny cornered to his bedroom wall, Donghyuck effectively escaping him somewhere along the way. Not that Sicheng noticed. His eyes were trained on Johnny and Johnny alone, who now couldn’t even hide distress form his face. He looked down at Sicheng and defeatedly agreed with his request, but not before asking for forgiveness, clutching Sicheng’s arm.

“You’ll be forgiven when I see the shoes looking like they’re new, but for now just let go of me,” he said, brushing Johnny’s hand away. “But if I go out of this room and see that you ruined my favourite pair, you’re dead meat. Seriously.”

“And what is your favourite pair?”

“I’m not gonna tell you, it’s a surprise. I want you to live in agony as long as possible,” he said, a crazy glint in his eyes. He then turned to leave the room, noticing Mark also wasn’t there anymore.

Fortunately, the shoes Johnny ruined were actually a pair he rarely ever wore anymore, and was thinking of throwing anyway. Not that Johnny’s gonna get that piece of information. 

Looking through his shoe closet, Sicheng decided to go simple and wear his white pair of converse, thinking it would go nice with pink. He knew Renjun should be there any minute. Then, Mark and Donghyuck reappeared from somewhere, Mark unsuccessfully hiding something behind his back.

“What’s that behind your back?” Sicheng asked him right away.

Mark smiled and pulled out something that looked like a gift bag. “It’s for you,” he handed him the bag. “I never gave you your birthday present. And it’s actually quite fitting, I think you can use it tonight.”

Sicheng opened the bag quickly, not caring if he tore the nice wrapping paper in the process. Inside, there was a perfume bottle, and he immediately recognized the packaging. It was the perfume he’s been wanting for a while now. Mark must’ve asked Donghyuck what to buy him and Donghyuck actually remembered Sicheng mentioning this. He smiled widely and gave Mark the biggest hug. “Thank you, Mark, I love it.” Mark didn’t need time to relax into the hug this time.

He then pulled Donghyuck into his arms as well. “Someone is very happy all of a sudden,” Donghyuck said into the hug. Sicheng just smiled wider, “I’m scared shitless, but also very excited. And happy,” he admitted and then noticed Johnny standing in a doorway, looking at them like a guilty puppy.

“Well, don’t look so miserable, it’s not like I’m actually mad at you,” he said, still holding Donghyuck. Johnny must’ve understood this as an invitation to join them, as he wrapped his huge arms around them, jokingly promising he’ll never let them go.

The sound of a doorbell interrupted their bonding moment and Sicheng almost jumped in the air from its abruptness. “Have fun,” his friends screamed, while ushering him towards the door, and Sicheng felt almost calm for a moment. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Renjun waiting for him, but most of the anxious feelings and nervousness he’s been feeling the whole day, faded away. Sicheng was instantly reminded how nice and relaxed the other boy made him feel, and Renjun didn’t even say a word to him yet.

“Hi, you look pretty,” Renjun said, that blinding smile that did things to Sicheng’s heart finding its way to his face again. 

“You too,” Sicheng said truthfully. Renjun really did look even more handsome than usual. He was wearing black slacks paired with a white shirt, casual sneakers balancing the outfit. His hair looked even softer and fluffier than usual and Sicheng just wanted to run his hands through it.

Realizing he was staring and probably coming off weird, Sicheng averted his eyes, choosing to look down at his own hands instead. Then, he felt a soft touch on his right hand, and when he looked up, Renjun was standing right next to him, his hand silently asking to hold Sicheng’s own. Hoping he wasn’t blushing too much, he gave Renjun his hand and they started walking.


	5. I have nothing more to say, but wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date!

To Sicheng’s surprise, their date started in an unusual place, Renjun saying he needed to finish something before they could get to the intended location. They ended up in a bookstore, which was apparently owned by Renjun’s mother, who wanted to start her own business in the new country. The store was small, but cute, giving off a very nice and cozy atmosphere. The fact that Sicheng was gonna meet Renjun’s mother, though, that wasn’t cute at all. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. 

As soon as they entered the store, Sicheng felt a powerful scent of freshly baked cookies and something else he couldn’t quite decipher, filling the air. An elegant looking lady greeted them and Sicheng instantly knew where Renjun got his pretty smile from. She rushed past Renjun to embrace Sicheng in a tight hug.

“It’s so nice to meet you honey. You can call me Yuke. I was so happy when Junnie told me he was going on a date,” she said before releasing Sicheng from her hold. Then she looked at him properly. “And with such a nice boy as well.” Sicheng smiled timidly and thanked her for the compliment.

Renjun quickly took his hand to drag him away from his mother. “Mom, we’re not staying long, just give me the thing and we’ll be on our way.”

Yuke gave her son a disapproving look. “But I made you cookies!” she almost pouted. “Surely you can stay for a cup of coffee and a few cookies, right honey?” Yuke directed her question at Sicheng. Renjun didn’t seem like he wanted to stay, but Sicheng felt like he couldn’t exactly refuse Yuke’s offer, not when she looked so hopeful. “Yeah, why not?”

 

Yuke turned out to be really nice and really funny, full of embarrassing stories about little Renjun. Sicheng felt like this kind of meeting maybe should’ve waited for another few months or so to happen and he understood why Renjun was so eager for them to leave, but he found he didn’t really mind. 

“I just have to say,” Yuke started, turning to look at Sicheng. “I’m so glad you noticed my Junnie. I know most kids your age tend to fall for the popular guys or jocks or bad boys.”

Next to Sicheng, Renjun sighed. “Mom.”

“I just wanted to say, you must be really special, cause, out of all of the people around you, you recognized how special my Junnie is,” she finished, smiling gratefully. Renjun took that as their cue to go.

“That was beautiful mom, really touching, but we have to go now.” He took a package Yuke needed for him to take to the post office, took Sicheng’s hand in his and started walking toward the front door.

Sicheng turned to say goodbye to Yuke. “It was really nice meeting you.”

“You too, sweetie, come by anytime you want.”

Renjun couldn’t hide a small smile threatening to appear on his face, even though Sicheng could see he was really trying to. “Bye, mom, I’ll see you tonight.” 

 

The place Renjun chose for their date was a new amusement park, the one Sicheng actually really wanted to visit, but never got around to. They started with the rides right away, since neither of them were hungry nor thirsty, courtesy of Renjun’s mother. The park was really nice with a lot of cool attractions and Sicheng was happy to see that Renjun was as adventurous as he was. They tried every single thrill ride there was and Renjun didn’t complain when Sicheng wanted to come back and go on Screamin’ Swing for the third time. It wasn’t until they went to the arcade and started competing against each other that Sicheng actually started to worry. This was their first date and he was supposed to show his best side, so he shouldn’t let Renjun see exactly how extreme he could get when there was a competition involved. He shouldn’t, but the whole point was that he couldn’t really control himself. But, when Renjun only laughed harder once Sicheng pushed him out of annoyance because he lost for the third time in the row, he knew there was nothing to worry about. After getting tired of all of the activities, they decided to have a cup of hot chocolate and walk around the park a bit more.

Sicheng felt his phone buzzing from his pocket. It was a message from Yuta. 

 

**from: Yuta**

Hey

You're probably still on your date 

Johnny told me about it btw 

I hope you're having fun 

I'm sorry for being such a jerk

Movie night tomorrow?

 

Sicheng felt a surge of relief wash over him, almost like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. The whole Yuta situation has been at the back of his mind for days now and he was apparently even more affected by it than he thought. With a huge smile on his face at reading Yuta's words, he texted him back, promising to devote the whole day tomorrow to him. He might've been a jerk, but Sicheng missed him a lot. He put his phone away and drew his attention back to Renjun. 

When he looked back at him, Renjun was already looking right back. He then averted his eyes away from him, seeming almost shy. Sicheng laughed at that. He might've been nervous, but the other boy was so cute like this. He managed to make Sicheng feel timid and confident at the same time. 

"Well, don't get all shy on me now," Sicheng said jokingly, barely managing to hide his own nervousness. He mentally congratulated himself on the bravado he was successfully putting up. 

Renjun still had his head down, but Sicheng caught a glimpse of his pretty smile and decided that he wanted to see it much more and maybe even be the cause of it every now and then.

Like he knew exactly what Sicheng was thinking about, Renjun looked up at him and smiled even brighter. "I'm not shy, I'm just infatuated and don't really know how to deal with it," he admitted blatantly, smirking a little, like he knew exactly what those words would do to Sicheng. 

And he was right, since Sicheng felt like he was melting a little. And then like he was burning. Which resulted in him not really being able to utter a word back at Renjun. He probably looked ridiculous, losing his breath upon getting a compliment like that, but still, he couldn't, for the life of him, think of anything smart to say. Does he say it back? Is he even infatuated with Renjun? Absolutely! Does Renjun need to know that? Probably, since he was so brave and said it first. Sicheng once again cursed himself internally for being so awkward with things like this.

It's just that, he’s never felt like this before. No one's ever made him feel this giddy and foolish and nervous, all at the same time. Sicheng felt like he was slowly losing his mind. The thing is, he never thought he would ever feel such strong emotions for someone he barely even knew. Renjun was dangerous. He was not safe for Sicheng's poor heart that mostly felt like it would jump out of his chest whenever he was around the other boy.

"Wow, you're really going all out tonight," he settled with, followed with an awkward laugh. If there’s anything he learned from Donghyuck, it's that sarcasm is the best defence mechanism. Probably the stupidest thing he could've picked up. And the look on Renjun's face only confirmed it. Sicheng hurriedly thought of something to say to save the conversation from being ruined by his stupid mouth. 

"I'm joking, of course, I like it," he said promptly, scared not to say something stupid again. And then, deciding that it was now or never, he carefully added "I mean, I like you." Feeling shyer than ever, he couldn't really look Renjun in the eyes after saying those words. "But you probably already knew that," he finished with, smiling a little and finally looking up at the boy in front of him. 

In his typical fashion, Renjun was looking at him brightly, gracing Sicheng with possibly the best smile he's received from him yet. "That's good to hear," he said, in a way that made him seem like he was relieved, but Sicheng knew that there probably wasn't any doubt in his mind that Sicheng liked him. "And I like you too," he said decisively, "But you probably already knew that," he concluded with a little smirk.

So he was back to teasing Sicheng. That, he knew how to deal with. "What are you talking about?" Sicheng questioned seriously. "You like me?" he asked, fake surprise colouring his voice. And then, for the grand finale, he added incredulously, "Wait, is this a date? Are we on a date right now?" An Oscar worthy performance, if you asked Sicheng. Renjun seemed to agree with him, if his uncontrollable laughter was any indication. 

They arrived at the exit, and Sicheng realized that he didn't want the night to end so soon. There wasn't anything specific he felt was left to be done for the night (he mustn't think about that one thing or he might just faint in front of the other boy, right there and then), but he still didn't want them to part ways just yet. Renjun was possibly (hopefully) thinking the same thing, as he seemed reluctant to leave the park. Maybe he also felt like whatever magical atmosphere that was created inside the gates would slowly start to disappear once they leave the place.

"I kinda don't want to go home yet," Renjun admitted, standing almost awkwardly next to the gates, unsure whether to step outside or stay in.

"Well, I am kinda hungry," Sicheng shrugged. 

A huge smile spread across Renjun's face, who looked genuinely relieved upon hearing the words. They started walking again, going towards the main street, where all the good food was.

"What does the prince want to eat?" Renjun asked him playfully. 

Sicheng laughed incredulously. "What is it with people calling me that?"

Renjun pretended to be upset. "Do you have a lot of people calling you that? Will I need to fight for your affection? I don't want to die young!" he finished dramatically. 

"That won't be necessary" Sicheng said reassuringly. 

There was a beat of silence, before Renjun carefully started, almost like he was nervous to ask the question. "Is Yuta calling you that?" 

Sicheng felt, what can only be described as a nervous kind of curiosity, upon hearing those words. What was it with people just assuming that there was something between him and Yuta?

"Yuta's just a friend. We're close, but not like that. What made you think otherwise?" 

Renjun looked at him, slight confusion written on his face. "I'm sorry, he just seemed very upset the other day, I just thought things might be complicated between you guys."

Sicheng realized that, at the moment, the word complicated actually felt like it could be used to describe Yuta and his relationship. And that didn't sit well with him. Things were always easy between them, that was their thing. Sure, Yuta sometimes had his moments, but Sicheng had them too, and it was never too serious, it was never something that didn't end up being resolved the very same day. That's why this weird thing they had for the last few days was very confusing to him and the worst thing was, it didn't seem like it would just pass. It felt like something was changing and moving in a certain direction, from which it won't be easy to come back. Yuta did send him a message trying to make things right and Sicheng did feel happy at that moment, but now it all just seemed like a temporary solution, like the calm before yet another storm.

Renjun must have noticed his inner turmoil. "It's okay, we don't have to talk about it, I'm sorry I asked."

"No, it's fine. It's just that, we never used to fight, and now we are and that's making me kinda sad," Sicheng said truthfully. He felt comfortable around Renjun, like it was okay to share things like this with him.

"Do you mind me asking when did it start? The fighting?"

Sicheng thought about it. The thing that first came to his mind was their fight in front of the lockers. But if he really thought about it, it started even before that. Maybe when they were walking to the cafeteria and came across Renjun. Yuta seemed really pissed then, but, at the time, Sicheng attributed it to him being tired or just cranky. 

"Very recently, that's why I hope it doesn’t become a huge deal.. But it is unusual. The thing with Yuta is that he is often grumpy and gets annoyed fairly easily, but he never seemed to be like that around me."

Renjun had a knowing look on his face. "Don't get mad, but it seems to me that he's jealous, maybe. I don't know him personally, but that day he seemed pretty pissed that you were spending lunch with me."

They arrived at the main street, which was filled with all kinds of people enjoying the unusually warm September night. Sicheng usually didn't like crowded places, but that kind of buzz actually felt good at the moment. It made whatever that was going on inside his head feel like less of a mess. 

"That's not what this is about. If you knew him, you'd know that's not what's going on," he finally said, starting to get a little annoyed. Not at Renjun, just at the whole situation. He stopped in front of a restaurant he ate at once before. "Does this look okay?"

Without even looking at the place, Renjun nodded and then playfully added, "Whatever my prince wants." And then, realising what he'd said, his eyes got incredibly big and he rushed to correct himself, "Not my prince, just a prince, someone's prince." He got all panicked and Sicheng found it hilarious. "No one's prince?" he asked, unsure. "I'm sorry, that was weird," Renjun laughed awkwardly.

"It was cute," Sicheng said, smiling at him.

Renjun looked pleased at that. And then he reached his hand to take Sicheng's own. "Let's go!"

 

Sicheng heard him before actually seeing him. He had a distinctive tone to his voice, slightly high pitched and very sweet, the one Sicheng could recognize anywhere. The restaurant wasn't big and it only had around ten tables, but his voice was still the only one that could be distinguished from the overall noise. Luckily, there were still some tables left and the waiter directed them at the one right next to the source of the loud noise. It took him a while to notice Sicheng, he seemed to be deep in a conversation with the boy he was sitting with, but once he did, his face lit up and he exclaimed loudly.

"Sicheng! What are you doing here?" he asked excitedly, getting up from his seat to hug him tightly. He took a look at Renjun and then turned to Sicheng again. "Oooh, are you on a date? You guys scream first date to me!” he laughed loudly. Then, intended just for Sicheng, he whispered, “He's cute!" Ten said it into Sicheng’s ear, probably wanting to be discreet, but instead informing the whole restaurant with his inability to be quiet. Or tactful.

Sicheng looked at Renjun in horror, but the boy only smiled to himself. God, he forgot how intense Ten could be. The boy Ten was sitting with stood up and introduced himself as Ten's boyfriend.

"Why don't you guys join us?" Ten asked suddenly, turning to his boyfriend to check if it was okay with him. The boy nodded. Sicheng really didn't want to join them, not just because Johnny would literally murder him, but he also wanted to spend more time alone with Renjun. Ten, apparently, had other plans. He leaned closer to Sicheng and, once again, whispered in his ear.

"It'll help you with your nervousness if it wasn't just the two of you. And this way, if he turns out to be a freak or a loser, at least you won't be alone." 

Sicheng wanted to tell him that he wasn't nervous because of Renjun (who most definitely was not a freak), but he couldn't exactly tell Ten that his long time friend had a huge crush on him and that he would kill Sicheng if he found out he betrayed him by hanging out with said crush and his boyfriend. No, he couldn't say that, so instead he said yes. He turned to look at Renjun who just smiled and said "The more the merrier, right?"

 

"I'm sorry about that, but I couldn't really say no to him, and I know that's not how you imagined our first date would look like, but..”

"What are you talking about? I always imagined Ten on our first date." 

Sicheng laughed loudly. 

"Besides, Ten's great, he's really fun. And Hendery's sweet."

Sicheng made a face at that. "Aaah, no, we can't say that or even think it, Johnny will find out somehow." After seeing the confused look on Renjun's face, he decided to tell him the whole story about Johnny and Ten.

"Okay, so if Johnny asks, Hendery's the worst?"

"Oh, we don't wait until he asks, I need to text him right now, otherwise he'll find out about it from Ten and that's not gonna be good." 

Renjun tilted his head, like he was trying really hard to understand. "So you're gonna text him that you just spent some time with Ten and his boyfriend and you're gonna tell him about how terrible Hendery is?"

"Yeah," Sicheng said plainly. 

"Reasonable." 

Sicheng looked up from his phone to find Renjun smiling at him, which was a relief since it kind of seemed like he would maybe judge him.

"He needs to hear it, trust me." 

"I get it, it's okay," Renjun quickly reassured him.

Putting his phone away, Sicheng looked at the time and realised it was getting late and that they should probably go soon. 

Like he was reading his mind, Renjun suddenly said "It's getting late, we should go."

"I know. I had a lot of fun tonight," Sicheng said truthfully. "My bus stop is there," he pointed at the bus stop across the street, behind Renjun. "Are you going in the same direction?"

Renjun gave him a funny look. "Yes, I am, I'll walk you home." 

Sicheng tried to protest, but Renjun insisted and then Sicheng protested some more, but the other boy was unrelenting. In the end, Renjun won and they started a half hour long walk to his house. They talked about Johnny and Ten and how they're both clearly in love with each other, Renjun reminded him about Jisung and Chenle and the exact situation he found them in (which made Sicheng cringe, but laugh at the same time), Sicheng asked him some more about his life in China and, before he knew it, they were in front of his house. 

Sicheng stopped walking, but didn't make any attempt to get inside just yet. Renjun stood awkwardly and he looked like he wanted to say something, but ended up just looking at Sicheng intently.

Sicheng cleared his throat. "I had a great night, really."

"I'm glad you had fun," Renjun said, finally stepping closer to him.

Every single thought Sicheng had slowly started to disappear from his mind. There was only Renjun, standing in front of him, looking at him closely. This will not be Sicheng's first kiss, but it will be the first meaningful one. 

When he was as close as he could get without actually touching Sicheng, Renjun stopped, and then tentatively asked "Is it okay if I kiss you?"

Sicheng could sense Renjun’s breath on his lips, already feeling that tingling sensation. There were no coherent thoughts left in Sicheng's brain, or at least it felt that way when Renjun was this close and was looking at him like that. Somehow, he managed to nod, but Renjun still didn’t move and instead he bashfully said, “I might be a bit inexperienced, so forgive me if I mess this up.”

He was still so, so close, and Sicheng could feel his every word on his own skin. Regaining some of his confidence back after realising how nervous Renjun actually was, he quickly said, “Impossible,” and that was enough for Renjun to finally close the distance between them. 

Sicheng knew what was coming, but he still couldn’t prepare himself for this. Renjun was everywhere and Sicheng could feel it all. The soft material of his sweater, the way his hair slid between Sicheng’s fingers, the soft noises he was making...all of it. Renjun’s lips were soft and that’s how he kissed him, softly and tenderly, and Sicheng thought it was perfect for their first kiss. He couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, which made Renjun smile too and then laugh, and the next thing Sicheng knew, he was kissing Renjun’s teeth. He couldn’t care less.

Renjun was still laughing softly, but then he looked at him again and quickly stepped forward, stealing a brief peck. Seeing Sicheng’s surprised face, he just offered, “I didn’t memorize it properly the first time”, smiling shyly. 

If Sicheng wasn’t completely sure before, now there wasn’t any doubt left in his mind that Renjun will be the death of him.


	6. Even if this isn't the right path, I'll figure it out once I start walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of high school

Sicheng was very nervous. It was the night before his first day of high-school and none of his friends from elementary school, apart from Lisa, who was more of an acquaintance anyway, chose the same school Sicheng did. Everyone will probably have at least one person they know, while he's gonna be all alone, without anyone to talk to. Sicheng knew that not everyone's gonna be paired up, obviously, but to him it didn't matter if someone was also gonna be alone, it's not like he's capable of approaching anyone, even if they're also alone and in need of company. He had a problem with that, making the first move, introducing himself and just starting a casual conversation. That was something he never did, cause there was always that fear at the back of his mind that said the other person didn't actually want to talk to him. That little voice was what was preventing him from making friends easily. All of the friendships he currently had in his life started with the other person approaching him. And Sicheng preferred it that way. But he knew it couldn’t stay like that forever. 

"Are you nervous?" came the voice from behind him. Sicheng turned around to see his brother standing in the doorway.

"Everything's gonna be okay," he answered, not really wanting to voice his fears to his brother. Not that he wouldn't understand, it's that he would understand too well. And then he would give him some lame advice about how you don't actually need people to be happy. Doyoung was kind of a loner, but the kind that chose to be that way. He was a class president and everyone respected him for being smart and kind, but also weirdly funny at times, and he still only ever let one person in. 

"I know it's gonna be okay, I'm asking you if you're nervous," Doyoung said simply. He was holding two cups of, what Sicheng assumed was, hot cocoa. That instantly made him feel better. At least he'll always have his brother, who knew him through and through, and loved him the most in the world. 

"Doyoung, what if I don't meet anyone tomorrow and everyone already forms groups and I'm not a part of any of them and I spend my high-school days all alone?" he whined, dramatically throwing himself on the bed. 

Doyoung chuckled lightly. "I promise you that's not gonna happen." 

Sicheng rolled his eyes, suddenly exasperated. "And how do you know that? Everyone always thinks it's not gonna happen to them because people around them tell them so, but what if it actually happens to me?" he challenged his brother. 

Doyoung moved to sit on the bed next to him, leaving the cups on the table. "I brought hot cocoa, I made it the way you like it. We can watch a movie or something." 

Head still buried in the pillow, Sicheng groaned loudly and pulled the blanket over his head. "I hate movies!"

"You're gonna like this one. I already watched it and I know your taste probably better than you know it yourself. Okay?" Doyoung asked in a soft voice, patting his head through the blanket.

Another loud groan and five more seconds of sulking later and Sicheng exclaimed, defeated "Ugh, fine!" 

 

Later that night, well into the movie, which Sicheng ended up liking a lot, Doyoung put his hand around Sicheng's shoulders and drew him closer to himself. "You're gonna be fine tomorrow. You're smart and funny and pretty, and people are gonna see that and they'll want to be friends with you. Okay?"

And in that moment, Sicheng truly felt like he had the best brother in the world. He always made him feel better and they got along so well that he couldn't imagine not always having Doyoung by his side. When he was this nice and when he spoke with this kind of certainty in his voice, it was hard not to believe everything he said.

"Okay."

 

The school looked intimidating, or rather, the people who were rapidly approaching the building looked intimidating to Sicheng. They were too loud, seemingly too eager to get inside, excitedly chatting with their friends, and Sicheng couldn't relate. They had to be older students, right? It couldn't be that all freshmans also had friends already. Freshmans are supposed to be scared, you're supposed to easily see in their eyes that it was their first day, right? Well, Sicheng was pretty sure that it would only take one glance at him to know that he was terrified.

He realized that he still had another 20 minutes before his first class started. Cursing Doyoung for dropping him off so early, he took another look around the school yard, deciding to stand next to the smoking kids. Not the best choice, he knew (are they even allowed to smoke on the school property?), but it was either that, standing alone or being the first one in the classroom. So, the choice was obvious. Still, he couldn't let himself seem desperate and ask one of the kids for a cigarette, that would just be pathetic, although –

"I'm sorry, can I borrow a cigarette?" a voice interrupted his thoughts. Sicheng looked up to see a tall boy standing next to him, looking a little out of place, but definitely directing his question at him. He seemed older, definitely not a freshman and Sicheng thought that maybe luck was on his side, after all. And then he remembered he didn't actually have cigarettes, because he wasn't actually a smoker. Shit! 

"I forgot them in my other backpack, sorry!" he said apologetically. The boy seemed to believe him, and why wouldn't he, it was a valid reason. Still, Sicheng felt bad, for he always felt bad when lying, especially unnecessarily, like right now.

Sicheng was also desperate for the boy to stay, but didn't know how to interest him in doing so. He was so close to making a friend, and even if it turned out to be just for the day, it was still better than nothing, so he couldn't afford to let this guy go. For some reason, he was still standing next to Sicheng, as if contemplating his next move. The boy looked at him again, a bashful smile on his face and said "Actually, I don't smoke, I was just hoping to start a conversation with someone."

Sicheng looked at him curiously. So, he was in the same situation as him. "That's lame," he ended up saying, and honestly, Sicheng deserved to be alone on the first day. The whole year even! Actually, all through high school, cause this was horrible. Sure, it was a joke, but what if the guy didn't share his sense of humour? Usually, he probably wouldn't be friends with someone who would get offended by this, but, at the moment, he wasn't exactly in the position where he could choose. In a poor attempt to save himself, he laughed awkwardly and hoped the guy would find it at least a little bit funny, and if he didn't, Sicheng hoped he would at least take pity on him. Because, that's how he felt at the moment, quite pitiful. Luckily, the guy smiled, and then laughed, before actually smirking and saying "I'm 99% sure you don't smoke either." 

Sicheng felt only a little bit embarrassed, considering the fact that this guy was doing the same thing. And by doing the same thing, he meant pretending to be a smoker to make some friends. How very cute of them. Sicheng decided to just laugh it off and let the guy interpret it the way he wanted. He seemed very amused.

"I'm Johnny," he said then, giving Sicheng his hand and shaking his lightly.

"Sicheng."

There was still another 15 minutes before the start of the first period and Sicheng thought talking to Johnny would definitely be a nice way to spend it. He's probably older, so he could give him some much needed advice and maybe even introduce him to his friends. That is, if Johnny even had them, which Sicheng kind of started doubting after he decided to pretend to smoke just so he could talk to him. Maybe Johnny was trying to hit on him, but, for some reason, that didn't feel like it was the case. 

"Are you a freshman? You seem like a freshman," Johnny said then.

"What gave it away?" 

"It's written all over your face," he said jokingly, but was probably telling the truth. 

"And what about you? What brings you here where the unfortunate ones are?" Sicheng asked and then immediately cringed. 

"My best friend moved away during the summer. He went to live in China," Johnny said, annoyance clear in his voice, "And now I have to be creative."

Well, this was just perfect. For Sicheng, of course, it was horrible for Johnny. But, Sicheng was a great person, maybe it was for the best that Johnny's traitor of a friend moved away, because now Johnny can be friends with the actual coolest person ever.

But, they would have to discuss that another time (preferably at lunch, when they're sitting in cafeteria, together), because Sicheng needed to leave now if he wanted to make it on time. 

"That sucks. My best friend is also in another school, but not as far away," Sicheng said and then added, "I need to get going. Maybe we're going in the same direction? I have English lit."

Johnny smiled and shook his head, "I have PE. But, do you know how to get to your classroom?" 

"Yes, thanks," Sicheng said, smiling at Johnny. Should he suggest they sit at lunch together or is that too forward? It would be ideal if Johnny asked first, but did he even leave a good impression? Sicheng couldn't tell, but he hoped he seemed interested enough. 

Johnny waved at him and started walking in the direction of the school field and Sicheng's face fell. Guess he was gonna spend the lunch alone, after all. Before he could turn away and leave, Johnny turned around and shouted at him, "See you at lunch. Don't look so down." Then he winked at him and continued walking in the opposite direction.

Sicheng couldn't help but smile at the boy and, for the first time that day, he felt hopeful. Maybe this year won't be so bad, after all.

 

By the time the lunch came, Sicheng was exhausted, and he was only half a day in. If he was being honest, he felt overwhelmed. Lit was too much, in his opinion, but he was never that interested in reading, anyway. The professor was really odd and eccentric and Sicheng couldn't figure out if he was just being cute or if he genuinely was weird. 

All he knew was that he was ready to take a break and talk to Johnny again. Now, don't get him wrong. He wasn't into Johnny like that. The guy just seemed interesting enough and it wasn’t like he could really choose at this point. Everyone he encountered until now was either completely uninterested or painfully uninteresting. He texted Donghyuck during algebra and he didn't seem to be doing much better, which was honestly a relief. Sicheng knew his best friend wouldn't let him suffer alone. Although, he did say he got seated next to some guy who he described as "possibly interesting enough to keep around." Sicheng will have to get more into that later.

For now, he was just happy to take a break from all of the listening and trying to memorize things he knew he will never need. He started walking in the direction of cafeteria, hoping he would bump into Johnny along the way, and that he wouldn't have to actively search for him in front of everyone. Luckily, Sicheng found him in front of the cafeteria, engrossed in a conversation with another boy. Even this was too much for him, having to approach Johnny first, especially since the boy seemed busy. What if he didn't actually want to sit with Sicheng and his "See you at lunch" actually meant "I'll see you sitting alone while I'm with my friends at the next table"? Sicheng was such a fool, assuming things he wanted to hear. Luckily, he realized everything right on time, if he could just get past them without them noticing and –

"Hey, there you are!" Johnny exclaimed suddenly. "What took you so long?" 

If Sicheng wasn't sure before, it was confirmed now - Johnny was an angel. Making sure not to sound too surprised, he casually replied, "My classroom was on the other side of the building." He stepped closer to the two boys, taking a look at Johnny's friend. He was already looking at Sicheng with a huge smile on his face.

"This is Yuta, he's Japanese," Johnny said helpfully. 

Yuta rolled his eyes. "I'm also his friend, but I guess that's not as important." 

Sicheng frowned. "I thought you didn't have any friends." 

Johnny laughed at that and Yuta looked offended. "I never said that, I just wanted to broaden my horizons," Johnny supplied, shrugging.

"Oh my god, stop talking, he'll literally think you were hitting on him." 

The two boys continued bickering as the three of them started making their way towards the cafeteria. Even though he just met them, Sicheng felt strange fondness for the boys. Then, he felt his phone buzzing from his pocket.

from: Donghyuck   
I saw an angel

Almost laughing out loud, he pocketed his phone without answering his friend. It was probably just another one of his silly crushes that usually last five minutes. He brought his attention back to the boys who were now standing in front of him, when Yuta turned around to look at him, "Are you coming, Sicheng?"

He had a good feeling about this.


	7. Just one day

It was an unusually hot day, even for this time of year and Sicheng was exhausted. He's been running around the city all day, in hopes of finishing everything his boss asked him to do before having to pick Jungkook up from daycare. His level of optimism only went lower as the day progressed and now he wasn't sure he'll ever finish the job. It wasn't that he expected a special treatment for having a small child, but he felt like lab assistants shouldn't really run across the city in search of a specific vanilla latte that's only sold in one coffee shop in the other part of the city, because that's the only coffee his boss can drink in the afternoon. Sicheng didn't mind running small errands for his boss, but he couldn't help but think his boss was taking advantage of him, knowing he was unlikely to protest, since he needed the job and wanted to move up in the lab. Sicheng decided he will definitely have to talk to him about it, because this was not what he had in mind when applying to this position.

With a sigh, he picked up the damned coffee when the barista called out his name, and then started walking towards the entrance door. That's when he heard his name being called out again. But, by a different voice this time. A very familiar voice. Another reason Sicheng hated getting coffee in this particular coffee shop was because Chenle lived nearby.

"Jisung!" Sicheng exclaimed, turning around to see Jisung and Chenle sitting in a small both, waving him over excitedly.

He couldn't help but feel genuine happiness upon seeing the two boys. It's been a while. Though, he was sure Jisung will make him change his mind in no time.

"Come sit with us for a bit, please," Chenle pleaded, a huge smile on his face. Despite the exhaustion and annoyance Sicheng's been feeling the whole day, he still had the strongest urge to squish Chenle's cheeks, attack him with kisses and suffocate him with hugs. Having a child will do that to you. Great, now he was missing Jungkook. 

He walked over to them and hugged Chenle briefly, trying not to spill the huge cup of coffee. Then he gave Jisung a smack on the head. 

"Hey, why'd you do that for?" Jisung shouted, rubbing his head lightly where Sicheng hit him. Chenle only laughed. 

"I'm sure you'll do something soon to deserve it," Sicheng said matter-of-factly. Jisung only shrugged in response. "I'm sorry boys, but I can't stay, I need to bring coffee to my boss as soon as possible," he said, rolling his eyes. 

Jisung groaned loudly. "You should just quit already, I hate that jerk, he's overworking you to the max. And he's a jerk!" Chenle nodded quickly, agreeing with his boyfriend. 

Sicheng sighed. "He's not that bad. He’s actually really nice. And he's a really good teacher. I've already learned a lot and I've only been working for him for a few months."

Jisung and Chenle didn't look impressed and Sicheng could understand where all the scepticism came from. He complained about his boss all the time, so it wasn't a surprise that the kids grew to dislike him immensely. 

"I'm gonna talk to him soon, I just need to figure out what to say exactly. And then if he continues to be the same, I'll quit and start looking for another job."

Chenle nodded approvingly and Jisung said "You better!"

Sicheng took a look at the big clock above the bar and saw that he was running late. "Okay boys, I really need to go now."

He gave Chenle a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll text you about this weekend, Jungkook really misses you." Then he ruffled Jisung's hair, while the other boy was trying to avoid his touch. "You were nice after all," he cooed at him.

Right when he was at the door, thinking about how surprisingly well that went, he heard Jisung shouting out from behind him, "He broke up with his girlfriend, by the way, now's your chance!"

He angrily turned around to scream at the little devil, "I knew that smack would be deserved!" before finally leaving the café.

Deciding not to let Jisung get in his head and fill it with unnecessary thoughts, Sicheng walked to his car and started thinking about what he will say to his boss instead. 

 

"Oh great, you're here!" his boss exclaimed happily. He immediately grabbed the coffee from Sicheng's hands and took a huge sip. Seemingly satisfied, he said the same thing Sicheng has heard every time his boss took the first sip of the damned thing, "Best coffee in the city, confirmed!" Then, he looked at Sicheng's, now empty, hands. "Why didn't you take anything for yourself?" he asked, almost pouting. "I already told you, you can take anything you want, it's on me." It was difficult to hate this man when he said nice things like that.

"Thank you, that's nice of you. But, I actually wanted to talk to you about something." Deciding it was now or never, Sicheng took a huge breath and started his practiced speech. "Mr. Jung, I -

"Sicheng, I told you to call me Hoseok. We're together all day and I'm only a few years older than you," his boss said, smiling brightly. 

"Right, okay, well...I'm ready to learn from you, I think you're a great chemist and a great teacher, and I feel like I have something to offer to this lab, if you would just let me."

Confusion was written all over Hoseok's face. "I know you're a great chemist, that's why I hired you, and we're always working together, I don't know what you mean."

Hoseok seemed genuinely confused and Sicheng couldn't understand how someone could be this clueless. Until now, he honestly thought his boss was taking advantage of him on purpose, even though he was never not nice to Sicheng, but at this point, he was starting to think the guy was really unaware of it all. 

"I'm spending more time doing things for you around town, than I spend in the lab," he said carefully. 

Hoseok was quiet for a few annoyingly long seconds before he resolutely said, "Then I guess I'm getting an assistant." He chuckled lightly, but then his face fell suddenly. "Oh, Sicheng, I'm sorry if I made you feel like I didn't appreciate you for your skills, because I really do! Your presence here is priceless, I wouldn't survive without you, you know how I forget things all the time!"

Sicheng felt like a weight had been lifted from his back. He was so relieved Hoseok understood him and seemed like he would really change things around here for the better. 

"This lab would practically blow up if you weren't here," he continued absent-mindedly. Okay, and he was gone, back in his, probably chaotic, mind.

"I'm sure you wouldn't let that happen," he smiled at Hoseok. 

After that, it was back to work and by the time his shift was over, Sicheng felt like that was the best and most productive day at work he's ever had. 

With a smile on his face, he rushed out of the lab to get to the daycare on time.

 

"Is Lele coming today?" Jungkook asked, big, hopeful eyes staring at Sicheng expectedly. 

"No, not today, but he’ll come over on Saturday probably. I actually saw him and Jisung today and they promised to visit you soon." Sicheng took his eyes off the road to look at Jungkook, whose face immediately lit up after hearing the news about his two favourite people coming to play with him.

"Yaaay, I missed them," he said then, fumbling with a little toy bunny Donghyuck and Mark got him for his second birthday.

"I know Guka, you talk about them all the time," Sicheng chuckled.

"That’s cause I love them," he said proudly. Then, he quickly looked at Sicheng, like he thought of something really important and worriedly asked, "And they love me too?"

Sicheng had to properly laugh at that, because his son really was the funniest little thing. "Of course they love you, Guka." He took his hand off the wheel and turned around to pat Jungkook’s head, but then immediately put it back on. Even years after getting his license, he was still not completely confident in his driving abilities. Anyway, better to be safe than sorry. 

"You have so many people who love you, you’re really lucky," he said seriously, hoping Jungkook appreciated all of Sicheng's friends taking care of him when he couldn’t, and practically helping him raise Jungkook. Sicheng also hoped his friends knew how thankful he was after everything they did to help him, especially during the year Jungkook was born and Sicheng was still in uni. He has told them all of this many times already, but no matter how many times he thanked them, nothing will ever truly express just how much he loved and appreciated every single one of his friends.  

Jungkook’s face lit up at that, and he continued to smile happily for the rest of their ride home.

 

"We’re home and we brought dinner," Sicheng shouted as he stepped into the apartment. He couldn’t hear anyone, but he knew both of his housemates were home. They almost always were at this time of the day, waiting for him and Jungkook to come back home to eat together.

Putting Jungkook down, he helped him get out of his shoes and into his house slippers, before they went to the bathroom to wash their hands. 

"Dad, I’m hungry!" Jungkook exclaimed suddenly.

"I know, Guka, we’re washing hands and then we’re eating, okay?" Sicheng put him down again after drying his hands with a towel. "You’re done, go find your uncle!" Jungkook smiled and started running towards Doyoung’s room.

Sicheng went to the kitchen to start setting up the table when he noticed a figure on the balcony. He stepped outside and sat next to his friend, who almost jumped in the air when he noticed him, dropping his cigarette in the process. "Oh my god, you scared me so much," Jaehyun said, putting a hand over his heart. 

Sicheng laughed. "I’m sorry, but I did announce our arrival quite loudly. I didn’t want a repetition of what happened the other day," he said, shuddering slightly at the memory. 

It was now Jaehyun’s turn to laugh, although he still seemed a bit embarrassed about the whole thing. "It’s never gonna happen again, I promise you." He picked up the cigarette he’d dropped before, putting it in the ashtray.

"So, what’s up with that?" Sicheng asked, pointing at the ashtray that had three cigarette butts in it. "Does Doyoung know?"

Jaehyun scoffed. "It’s not like I can hide anything from him. Anyway, this is only temporary, I’m just nervous about Doyoung’s interview tomorrow."

Jaehyun quit smoking almost a year ago and, since then, he’s constantly been repeating how that was definitely the last time he was quitting and that he will never go back to it. He was never tempted to try it again, at least that’s what he’s been telling everyone and how it looked like to Sicheng, so he was genuinely surprised to see Jaehyun like that. Also, that was so typical for Jaehyun, to worry about Doyoung’s job interview more than Doyoung himself. Not to say that Doyoung wasn’t nervous, he was, but he was also confident in his abilities and was generally an optimistic person.

"I honestly think everything’s gonna be fine. His portfolio is really good and he’s the most hardworking person I know. If they don’t hire him, they’re crazy," Sicheng said seriously, genuinely believing everything he was saying.

Whatever Jaehyun wanted to say was interrupted by Doyoung, who came to call them to dinner, carrying Jungkook on his shoulders.

"Look, dad, I’m so tall now, I’m the tallest boy!" Jungkook exclaimed excitedly, laughing loudly when Doyoung turned around unexpectedly, causing him to almost fall to the side.

Sicheng loved moments like these, when they were all together, just talking and laughing, being a real family. There was no one he loved more than Jungkook and Doyoung, but he also couldn’t imagine his life without Jaehyun anymore. He turned out to be one of the best people Sicheng’s ever met, the biggest indicator of that being the fact that he didn’t really mind when Sicheng and Jungkook moved in with him and Doyoung. He suggested it, actually, probably knowing Sicheng would never ask them himself. And Sicheng probably wouldn’t, normally wouldn’t even accept it if they offered first, and would try making things work by himself. But, at the time he moved out of Taeyong’s apartment, he didn’t have a proper job and Jungkook was just a baby, so he couldn’t really afford to be stubborn. Of course, Sicheng never would’ve blamed Jaehyun, even if he did mind living with them, because not a lot of people would want to live with their boyfriend’s brother and his small child. But, Jaehyun wasn’t like most people and he proposed the idea immediately, leaving Sicheng shocked, but forever grateful.

With a huge smile on his face, he stood up to take Jungkook in his arms and happily said, "Yes, you are Guka! Now, let’s go eat!"

 

There's a lot of things Sicheng couldn't do anymore, now that he had Jungkook. He used to love going out and drinking until the early hours of the morning. When he was in his first year of uni, he would go out almost every weekend, sometimes to a house party, sometimes to a proper club, but most often to Yuta's apartment, where the two of them and the rest of their friends would drink, play games and talk shit until morning. Somewhere along the way, his separate friend groups started hanging out together, and by the time he started uni, even Jisung and Chenle often joined their little get togethers. Those days were obviously over, and Sicheng couldn't say he didn't miss them from time to time. It wasn't about the alcohol, as much as it was about the freedom of being able to do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted. Although, he did crave a drink or two every now and then.

Like now, for example. He really needed a drink right now. It's been a long day of difficult problems at work, clingy toddler following his every move and a nervous atmosphere around the apartment due to Doyoung's job interview, that most likely went great, but both he and Jaehyun have been on edge the whole afternoon. So, he asked them to babysit Jungkook for the night, which both of them accepted immediately, grateful to have a distraction at least for a little bit. Sicheng thought about who to call for all of three second before texting Donghyuck. 

to: Hyuck   
Drinks tonight? 

from: Hyuck  
Yes

Good, reliable Donghyuck, always ready to meet up with him, especially if there’s alcohol involved. Even though both of them had their own busy lives, Sicheng juggling Jungkook and his job, and Donghyuck working all sorts of jobs while trying to find a steady one, their friendship only became stronger over the years. Donghyuck was the first person Sicheng ever befriended and he was sure they would stay close until the end.

Feeling excited about tonight, Sicheng went to his room to start getting ready. He almost forgot how much he enjoyed the process, not going out in such a long time. When he entered the room, Jungkook was sitting at his little table, quietly drawing in his notebook. And Sicheng thought, probably for the millionth time, how he really had the best kid ever. 

He came up to Jungkook and hugged him from behind. Jungkook turned around and smiled brightly at him. 

"I'm drawing a bunny," he said happily. 

Sicheng took a look at his drawing. The paper was mostly empty apart from a big mess of lines in the middle of it.

"It looks really good Guka," he said, trying to sound as sincere as he could. Years of practice in complimenting every ugly thing his son made really made him an expert, in his opinion. "How are you gonna name him?"

Jungkook looked deep in thought for a few seconds, before answering decisively, "I’ll call him Yuta! Because he looks like Yuta and I miss Yuta."

Sicheng couldn’t believe his own kids would betray him like that. First Jisung and now Jungkook!

"I don’t see it. I think he looks more like Johnny, all big and messy, don’t you think?" he asked hopefully. 

Jungkook shook his head. "No, he looks exactly like Yuta.”

"Okay." Sicheng knew a losing battle when he saw one. 

Thinking they were done with the topic, Sicheng started picking his outfit, when Jungkook suddenly asked, "When is Yuta gonna visit us again?"

Sicheng turned around to see Jungkook staring at him with big, hopeful eyes. His heart sunk a little. "I don’t know Guka, he’s not here at the moment, he’s in another country." He really hoped this answer would be enough for him, because he couldn’t really offer him another one.

"What country?" Jungkook asked, always interested in learning new things about the world around him. Sicheng loved that he was very curious about things, but still mostly quiet.

"Japan. Have you ever heard of Japan?"

Jungkook thought about it for a second before shaking his head. "Can we go there someday?" he asked then.

"Of course," Sicheng answered, before taking his son in his arms and walking to the living room. He put him down on the sofa, turning on the TV. "Do you wanna watch some cartoons while dad’s getting ready?" he asked, smiling when Jungkook nodded forcefully. 

He pulled out his phone to text Donghyuck again.

to: Hyuck   
We’re going all out tonight

 


	8. Hold me tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place the day after Sicheng and Renjun's date

Sicheng couldn't help but feel nervous, standing in front of Yuta's front door. They were on good terms at the moment, having messaged each other the day before, where Yuta said he was sorry and they agreed to have a movie night today. But, Sicheng still had his doubts, and it wasn't even because of what Renjun had said. Sure, that got him thinking, but not about what Renjun had originally insinuated. Of course there was nothing between him and Yuta, Sicheng has long gone stopped thinking about him that way, and was completely sure Yuta only saw him as a friend too. That's why he had a problem with understanding Yuta's behaviour towards him lately. Something was bugging him, Sicheng was sure, and he felt like a bad friend for not figuring it out on his own. 

Taking another deep breath, he rang a doorbell and immediately recognized his mistake, but only after he'd already done it. He never knocks or rings a bell when it comes to Yuta's place, and only doing it now will certainly look weird and add to a potentially awkward atmosphere. Choosing not to dwell on it too much, Sicheng braced himself for the incoming encounter, hoping for the best.

As he expected, Yuta first met him with a confused look on his face, but he also looked like he wasn't gonna say anything about it. Instead, he gave Sicheng a small smile, not the one he usually gives him, but one that was more careful, more hesitant. Sicheng didn't like that look on him, so he decided he'll try to lighten up the mood.

"Hey, come on in," Yuta said then, sounding a bit awkward saying those words, probably because he didn't need to use them in years. 

Sicheng followed him into the apartment, immediately feeling better upon getting into the familiar setting. He took of his jacket and walked straight to the kitchen, not needing to ask Yuta where everything was, before getting bowls and glasses for snacks he brought. 

"I brought green tea cake, your favourite," he yelled from the kitchen. 

Despite knowing that Yuta was to blame for the current situation they were in, Sicheng couldn't help but feel slightly responsible too, and the cake was a small attempt to help him get back on Yuta's good side.

"Thank you. I got that lasagna you like." Yuta screamed back, apparently having a similar idea. 

Chuckling lightly, Sicheng made his way to the living room, where Yuta was waiting for him on the couch. Sicheng sat next to him, closer than he normally would, and looked at Yuta intently before adverting his eyes to look down at his lap, because, apparently, that's how you make someone comfortable. When he looked back up at Yuta, he saw a surprise on Yuta's face, but that only lasted for about two seconds before he took Sicheng into a big hug, whispering about how sorry he was.

When the hug ended, somewhat earlier than Sicheng expected it would, Yuta started setting up the movie, but Sicheng still wanted to talk about things and work through them. 

"Yuta, I think we still need to talk."

"Yeah, I know, I thought I would just play something chill, like Tangled, while we talk, and then later we can watch something you want," he said, smiling. 

"Okay," Sicheng laughed, moving to sit normally at his part of the couch.

He was significantly more relaxed now, but still didn't know how exactly to start the conversation. Does he start it or does he wait for Yuta to begin? He did apologize already, multiple times, so maybe Sicheng should ask him if there was something wrong? Oh, and he should ask him about the date, too.

"I just want to say again how sorry I am, and I promise, I won't ever act like that again," Yuta started, seeming genuinely stressed about the whole thing. "I was in a bad mood these past few days, I don't even know why, and I acted like a jerk without a reason."

Sicheng listened intently to his friend's explanation, thinking of what to ask him next, because he definitely wanted to get to the bottom of this. 

"It's okay, I get it. I was just surprised, cause we never used to fight before. But, I still don't understand why you would take it out on me. You seemed to be okay with Johnny. Did I do something that annoyed you even more?" 

Yuta shifted uncomfortably in his seat, avoiding Sicheng's eyes. "It's not that, you didn't do anything," he said. Sicheng waited for him to continue, to further explain what was on his mind, but nothing came. 

"Okay," he settled with, but the strange feeling lingered. "Hey, how was your date?" he remembered to ask.

Yuta looked at him again, an unreadable expression on his face. "It was all right, but it's not going anywhere." 

"Oh, okay."

"What about your date?" 

Sicheng thought back to yesterday, about how much fun he had with Renjun and how much he enjoyed the other boy's company. He couldn't remember the last time he was that happy, but, for some reason, he didn't feel like saying all of that to Yuta. "It was really nice," he settled with.

"That's really good," Yuta smiled. "Renjun seems nice." 

That kind of stirred something inside of Sicheng. No matter how much he tried to forget all the mean things Yuta had said to him a few days ago, he couldn't, especially the things about Renjun. He didn't say anything bad about him specifically, obviously, since he didn't even know him, but he did imply he didn't like that Sicheng was spending time with him. Sicheng wasn't going to mention it, what Renjun had said, what Mark had thought, what Johnny jokes about, but it seemed like it needed to be said, after all. 

"I feel stupid for asking this," Sicheng started, not looking at Yuta directly, suddenly feeling very nervous, "But, were you maybe jealous? When you acted that way, when we were by your locker?" He glanced back at Yuta and was met with an amused look on his face, or as amused as it could be on a person who was feeling guilty and wanted to win back their friend. 

"Why would you think that?" he asked, smiling widely and looking very amused, but Sicheng knew better. He gave Yuta a look, the one he hoped transfered he wasn't gonna take any shit from him anymore. Yuta kept smiling innocently and Sicheng kept looking at him sternly, until Yuta's smile faltered and he finally gave up.

"Fine, maybe I was jealous! But just a little bit, okay?" he quickly added. "And it was only because you decided, all of a sudden, to go and spend the lunch break with someone else, without notifying me first. What was that all about?" 

Sicheng couldn't help but snicker at his friend. He looked so serious while uttering such stupid things. It was almost cute. 

"Are you laughing at me?" Yuta asked, disbelief apparent in his voice. 

That only made Sicheng laugh even harder and then he snorted, which in return made Yuta chuckle, and next thing he knew, they were both dying from laughter and Sicheng's stomach was hurting. 

When he finally calmed down, which took him way longer than it took Yuta, he looked at his friend and decided that he'll never let anything come between them again. 

"I'm sorry, Yukkuri, but you'll have to get used to it. We're together now," he said, still finding it hard to believe. He and Renjun were together. In a relationship. Crazy. 

"I know, I know, I will," Yuta said, defeated. He was silent for a few moments, looking deep in thought, before he spoke again, "Does that mean we can't cuddle while watching movies anymore?" he asked softly. 

"What are you talking about? We never do that," Sicheng said, but then smiled deliberately at Yuta. That was kind of their thing. They would start off at separate parts of the couch, but as the movie progressed, they would get closer and closer to each other, and they would spend the last half an hour of the movie in each other's arms. They never talked about it, but it was something that happened every time. And, as far as Sicheng was concerned, it will keep happening. 

Yuta smiled back at him, before turning to finally watch the movie, grabbing his ice-cream and getting comfortable in his seat. Sicheng thought about it for a second, before he sat close to Yuta, closer than ever before, and put his head on his shoulder. Yuta didn't say anything, which Sicheng was thankful for, and they continued to peacefully watch the movie.

That was, until Sicheng heard his phone vibrate in his pocket, signalizing he got a text. When he looked at his phone, he saw Renjun's name on the screen and immediately got a fluttery feeling in his stomach. When will he stop reacting this way just from seeing Renjun's name? 

from: Renjun  
I've been thinking about you a good part of the day, so I thought I'd say hi

Sicheng couldn't help but laugh at this, which made Yuta look at him in surprise, since he was, apparently, so engrossed in the movie that he didn't even notice Sicheng taking out his phone. 

Sicheng shook his head and hand, as if to tell him not to worry about it, and got back to his phone. Contemplating what to write back, he decided on the truth, since there was no point in denying it, not when Renjun's always so honest with him. 

to: Renjun   
Hahah me too   
I can't wait to see you again

This was so unlike him, but it felt good writing these things, and it felt even better feeling them. He got another message, and this one was from Donghyuck, asking Sicheng to have breakfast with him tomorrow. In the background, he heard Yuta laugh at the scene he'd already watched a hundred times. Sicheng was finally happy.


	9. I show up, but I never throw up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happens somewhere near the end of Sicheng's freshman year of high school; let's say it's April :)

Sicheng was struggling to remember the lyrics to the song that was currently playing, but that didn't stop him from screaming random words anyway, trying to pull Johnny closer and sing directly into his ear. The other boy kept purposely dodging him and getting on his toes to be even taller and even more out of reach. Sicheng sometimes hated how tall his friend was and how often he used it to his advantage. 

   
They were at some party, hosted by Donghyuck's friend from school, Jaemin, and Sicheng was having fun. The music was good, there was plenty of alcohol going around and he was surrounded by his friends, who were all in a great mood. Sicheng was currently in the middle of the living room, which was, for the purpose of the party, transformed into a dance floor, with drunk Johnny by his side. 

   
"This party is the best, Jaemin has the coolest house!" Johnny all but screamed at Sicheng. 

"I know! And he seems awesome!" Sicheng replied, just as loud, so he could be heard over the music. 

   
Johnny's dance moves were, simply put, embarrassing. But, he seemed not to really care about it, so Sicheng didn't think about it too much. Plus, he was a little drunk and everything was much more fun when he drank, which made Johnny’s moves more hilarious than cringeworthy.

Suddenly, Sicheng felt a hand on his waist and a weird electrifying feeling coursed through his body. The fact that he knew exactly who that hand belonged to, just from one touch, scared him. The way that touch made him feel also scared him. He turned around to find a grinning Yuta looking at him, two cups in his hand. "I brought you a gift," he said, raising one of the cups and offering it to Sicheng. 

He rolled his eyes. "Thanks, but Jaemin already got me covered," Sicheng replied, raising his own cup and winking at Yuta. The alcohol was definitely getting to him.

Yuta grinned even wider, probably happy that Sicheng was playing along, and then fake gasped. "Should I be jealous?"

"Don't be jealous, I don't think you're his type anyway," Sicheng said, proud of his little joke. 

"Laaaaame," Yuta said, but still laughed anyway. 

   
Next to Sicheng, Johnny was still dancing aggressively, occasionally kicking him with how rapidly he was moving his arms. Sicheng groaned when he received a particularly hard hit. "Can't you control your limbs at least a little bit?" he asked, exasperated. 

Barely sparing him a glance, Johnny loudly said, "I can't hear you from down there, sorry," and proceeded to dance even wilder, moving his hands almost manically. 

Sicheng rolled his eyes at him. "You're not even that tall."

He turned back to Yuta and immediately wished he didn't. The other boy was close, too close, and the proximity made Sicheng feel slightly uncomfortable. It didn't help that Yuta had obviously put a lot of effort into his appearance tonight. And that smile was kinda annoying. It made Sicheng's stomach flip uncomfortably. "I'm gonna go find Hyuck."

Yuta pouted. "But I just got here."

"I'm sure you'll be fine. Just keep Johnny from embarrassing himself too much, okay?" he asked and then turned around and started walking away before Yuta had a chance to protest.

Scanning the apartment in hope to find Donghyuck, he noticed Jaemin and Jeno in the kitchen, but there were no signs of his best friend anywhere. He was probably off somewhere with Mark and his friends. Sighing loudly, Sicheng decided to approach the two boys, even though he'd only just met them tonight. When they noticed him coming up to them, Jaemin immediately smiled and Jeno stood up to give him his seat. Sicheng laughed and waved him off, thinking about how nice of him that was. 

   
"Well, well, well, isn't it Hyuck's partner in crime?" Jaemin asked in a ridiculous attempt at sounding serious. 

Sicheng loved how friendly Jaemin was and how nice Jeno was. It was easy talking to them, even for him, who was often awkward with new people. And it seemed they liked him too. So, naturally, he had to ruin it all with finger guns and a loud "Ayo!" directed at the boys, which only made them give him amused smiles. He really hoped they would think it was all the alcohol that was responsible for that embarrassing shit. Well, it really was, to some extent. 

   
"Anyway, have you guys seen Hyuck?" he asked, trying to distract them and possibly make them forget all about what they've just witnessed. 

Last time I saw him, he was with a friend of ours," Jeno said and then turned his face away when Sicheng looked at him. What was that all about? He's noticed Jeno doing that a few times already. Was he one of those people who couldn't look other people in the eyes? But, why was he flustered if he was with Jaemin? Were they even together? Sicheng just assumed they were, since he hasn't seen them apart since the moment he met them.

"Oh, okay." How naive of him to assume that just because he was in the present of easy going people and under the influence of alcohol he would not be awkward. "So, are you guys together, or?"

They both laughed at that. "Why, are you interested in one of us?" Jaemin asked, obviously teasing him. Well, he kind of deserved that, but it still felt a bit unnecessary. Probably noticing his pitiful face, Jeno quickly added, "He's joking," with a huge smile on his face, so huge that his eyes almost disappeared . "Jaem has a girlfriend and I'm single. And not really interested in girls," he added shyly, lowering his voice a little. "But we get that a lot, so don't worry." 

This time, Sicheng tried really hard not to react visibly and not to show how surprised he actually was to hear this. If anything, he would've guessed it was the other way around. This just goes to show you should never judge a book by its cover. It could also potentially mean that Jeno found him attractive and that was the reason he got all shy on him and couldn't look him in the eyes. Sicheng wasn't really interested in the other boy, but it would surely be flattering to have someone like Jeno be affected by him. The boy was gorgeous. 

   
With as blank of a face as he could muster, he casually said, "Cool."

Luckily, whatever he was gonna say next was suddenly interrupted when someone loudly barged into the kitchen. Sicheng turned around to see a girl his age, maybe a bit younger, who quickly smiled at him and then embraced Jaemin and practically screamed in his ear, "Dori dori Jaem Jaem, we got the Jaem!" Jaemin laughed at that and the girl continued, "Get it, cause you're Jaem," she said and looked at him pointedly. "I get it babe, you say it all the time," he smiled. "I know, but I wanted to say it again," the girl said sweetly. Was she trying to do aegyo? Sicheng was not impressed. The girl turned around to high five Jeno and then extended her hand to Sicheng. "I'm Chanri."

Sicheng always prided himself on being a good judge of character, and his gut was telling him that Chanri was as fun as she was annoying. He was there for it. He grew to like people like that, with Donghyuck being his best friend and everything. "I'm Sicheng, Donghyuck's friend."

   
"Oh, Donghyuck seems so fun, it must be great to have a friend like that! I'm always surrounded by these losers," she said, trying to sound annoyed, but not managing to keep the affection out of her voice. 

Sicheng scoffed. "Jaemin threw this party, that makes him fun enough."

"Only because I nagged him to! Don't get fooled, these guys would just play video games all day long if they could."

"Cheers to that!" Jeno exclaimed and raised his cup. Jaemin ignored him. "Baby, why are you being mean to me?" he pouted. "You know I love to spend time with you outside."

Ah, so they were both disgusting like that. Sicheng tuned out their conversation after that, deciding to go and spend some more time with Yuta and Johnny. "I'm gonna go find my friends, guys. See you later!"

He could hear a loud choir of goodbyes behind him, Jaemin's voice telling him to find them again later standing out from the noise. Sicheng smiled to himself. He liked Donghyuck's new friends, even if they were a little different from everyone he's ever hung out with.

Johnny and Yuta were easy to find, even in Jaemin's huge living room, thanks to Johnny who was screaming and could be heard even over the music. They were now sitting on a big couch, talking to some guy Sicheng didn't recognize. When he got closer, he noticed that the guy looked amused at whatever Johnny was telling him and that Yuta looked bored out of his mind. When he spotted him, a mix of relief and happiness spread over Yuta's face. "Oh my god, I'm so happy you're here. Let's go somewhere, please!" he hurriedly said and stood up. Then, he took Sicheng's hand and started dragging him away from the living room and towards the backyard.

 

As expected, Jaemin's backyard was just as beautiful as the rest of his home. It was simple and fancy at the same time, with a freaking pond in the middle of it and cute fairy lights everywhere. There wasn't a lot of people in there, just some smokers and the ones who were in need of fresh air, and after taking a deep breath, Sicheng realized he definitely belonged to the latter category. 

They were still holding hands, Sicheng noticed then, and took his away from Yuta's hold. "Who was that guy over there? And why did it look like you were third wheeling them?" Sicheng asked Yuta, motioning for him to follow him to the set of chairs next to the pond. The air was chilly and it was windy, which made it just bearable to be outside without the jacket. The wind blowing over the pond gently moved the water, creating relaxing sounds. It was beautiful. 

   
"His name is Ten, I think, and he came here with a friend, I forgot his name. I think he said he didn't even know Jaemin, but his friend is Jaemin's neighbour, so." He turned to look at Sicheng. "This is beautiful. I want to live like this."

Sicheng gave him a warm smile. "I know you do. This literally looks like something taken from your 'ideas and inspiration' pinterest board." Yuta laughed at that, not denying it, and Sicheng decided that it meant he was right. Both about him imagining his future home like this and about him having a pinterest account. 

They settled into a comfortable silence between them, not paying attention to the background noises in the form of drunken people laughing and throwing up and the muffled music coming from the inside. 

"I think Johnny likes that guy," Yuta said eventually, not looking at Sicheng, but at the water in front of them. 

That didn't sound weird to Sicheng, not really, even though he would've never guessed it.

   
"Somehow, that's not that surprising. Like, it is, but at the same time it isn't. You know what I mean?"

Yuta laughed and started throwing pebbles into the pond. "Weirdly, I do." It became quiet again and, after a few moments, Yuta cleared his throat and turned to look at Sicheng, giving him a meaningful look. "I'm also like that, you know?"

The look Yuta was giving him was both intense and timid at the same time, but Sicheng couldn't really understand what it meant and what the other boy was talking about. All of his cognitive processes significantly slowed down since they made themselves comfortable on the chairs. All of those shots he took couldn't have helped either.

"What do you mean?" he asked finally. 

Yuta didn't relent in staring at him intently. "I could like anyone. That's just something I realized recently." 

The speed of his heartbeat was crazy, Sicheng got scared his heart was gonna jump out of his body. He was also worried Yuta was gonna hear it, even with all the noise around them. He wanted to say something, but didn't know what. He was sure if he opened his mouth now, everything would come out, and that wasn't something he wanted. But, it was really hard to control himself when Yuta just kept staring at him, like he was waiting for something. Waiting for what? 

After trying to calm himself internally for a few moments, he managed to actually sound normal when he finally spoke, "That's good. I mean it's cool how you realized it at the right time. And now there's twice as many people you can choose from, yeah?" 

Yuta looked away reluctantly, continuing to throw pebbles in the water. He wasn't looking at Sicheng when he spoke next, "I don't think I'm a hooking up type of guy." He barked a humorless laugh, before turning to look at Sicheng again. "Are you okay? You're not drinking anymore, is it because you were feeling nauseous?"

   
Sicheng only then noticed that he didn't have a drink with him, having left it in the kitchen earlier. He felt like the previous conversation sobered him up completely and his heart was still hammering in his chest, so maybe it was time for another drink and a time away from Yuta. "No, I feel good, but I left my drink in the kitchen. I'm gonna go get it. Do you need something?"  
 

"No, I'm fine. Don't take too long!" Yuta shouted after him.

   
"Okay, see you in half an hour!" he yelled back, wanting to keep the mood light despite how shaken he still felt. He didn't want Yuta to notice anything and he wasn't gonna let this spoil his night.

   
The backyard got busier since they first came outside, but he still spotted his best friend easily, even in the crowd. He mentally cursed himself for forgetting to check on Donghyuck earlier. Just like Jeno said, he was standing with some guy Sicheng didn't recognize, cigarette in his hand. The guy noticed him first, since Donghyuck was facing the other side, and he gave Sicheng a small smile, but not without looking a little confused about him power walking towards them. He was really pretty. The pretty guy then motioned Donghyuck to turn around, and when he did, a huge smile spread across his face. 

   
"Look who's here! Where have you been?" Donghyuck asked him loudly, even though there wasn't any need, since the music wasn't loud at all in this part of the yard. 

"With Johnny and Yuta. I also talked some more to Jaemin and Jeno," he said and gave his friend a meaningful look. Next to Donghyuck, the pretty guy was still quietly standing and Sicheng wasn't gonna be impolite like his drunk friend was. "I'm Sicheng," he said, having trouble maintaining eye contact with the boy. It wasn't about the way he looked (well, not entirely) or about the way he acted, but there was something about this guy that made him stand out. He gave Sicheng a small smile again and said, in the softest voice ever, "I'm Jungwoo." Sicheng certainly was enchanted. 

   
"Jungwoo's my friend from school. He lives next door," Donghyuck added helpfully. "Hey, have you seen Mark? I haven't seen him the whole night, I kinda miss him," he said, properly pouting now. Drunk Donghyuck was the only honest Donghyuck, at least when it came to Mark. Next to him, Jungwoo snickered. 

   
"I haven't seen him, Hyuck."

   
"Oh, never mind, he just texted me," Donghyuck said, looking at his phone. A big frown formed on his face. "He's not feeling well. I'm gonna go help him," he said and started running towards the entrance. "I’ll text you when mom gets here, if we don’t see each other before," he yelled, without even turning to look at Sicheng, still running. That left only the two of them. And Jungwoo didn't seem bothered by that at all. He grabbed a pack from his back pocket, carelessly sat on the ground and lit a cigarette, offering Sicheng one.

   
"No, thanks." He didn't know if he was supposed to sit next to him or not. He didn't directly tell him to, but maybe it was implied? While thinking about what to do, he must've been obvious, because Jungwoo moved to the side a little and motioned to the spot next to him. "Keep me company? I don't know many people here," he said.  
 

Well, it would be rude not to, now that Jungwoo actually asked him. "Me too, I only know Hyuck and I brought two friends from school," he said, sitting down on a cold concrete. It was then that he remembered Yuta was still waiting for him. "Actually, I told my friend I'll be right back," he lamely added, chuckling awkwardly. "I was gonna get a drink and then come back outside."

Jungwoo smiled and Sicheng thought that was the cutest smile ever. He really couldn't figure this guy out. He looked so sweet and innocent, but he oozed confidence at the same time. Maybe Sicheng was crazy for trying to read people after only five minutes of knowing them.

"It's okay, go. You don't want to keep your friend waiting," he said calmly.

"Or, you can come with me and then we'll go to Yuta together. He's a nice guy. Very smiley." Sicheng kind of hoped Jungwoo would say yes. These days, it wasn't that easy being alone with Yuta. And, after what happened earlier, Sicheng was even more reluctant to deal with Yuta on his own.

"Okay." He extended his hand to Sicheng to help him get up and finished his cigarette, before they went inside. 

 

The house was now even more crowded and getting past all those people to get into the kitchen wasn't the easiest task. Instead of Jaemin and Jeno, they found Johnny there, sitting next to that guy he possibly liked, showing him something on his phone. When they noticed Sicheng and Jungwoo, they both smiled and waved them over. 

   
"Good, you're here. Can you please tell this guy that cats are clearly better than dogs," Johnny's crush said, looking at Jungwoo. Sicheng caught Johnny's eyes and gave him a meaningful smile. 

"No can do buddy, dogs are definitely better," Jungwoo simply said. Johnny high fived him and cheered loudly.

Johnny's guy (Ten, was it?) made a shocked sound and an expression to match the emotion. "You literally have a cat! Why would you betray me like that?" Ten whined, exasperated. 

"And she's a bitch!" Jungwoo replied, raising his voice for the first time since Sicheng met him. 

   
He and Ten exchanged introductions then, Ten reluctantly admitting ultimate defeat when Sicheng told him he preferred dogs too.

"We'll leave you guys to it, Yuta's probably getting pissy," Sicheng announced then. 

   
"Okay, I'll text you later."

Almost forgetting about the reason they came to the kitchen, Sicheng only remembered about the alcohol when they were already out of the room. Jungwoo laughed at how forgetful he was, and when they came back in, Johnny and Ten were kissing. Sicheng looked at Jungwoo in shock and the other boy just smiled at him again, signalizing him to quickly take the drinks. Sicheng took the whole bottle this time, careful not to make a sound, while Jungwoo carried soda and cups.

   
As soon as they were out of the room, they both burst out laughing and didn't stop even when they were outside, approaching Yuta who was sitting in the same spot where Sicheng left him. He gave them a confused glance, and then his eyes flashed with recognition when he looked at Jungwoo. "Oh, Ten's friend. Sorry, man, I forgot your name," he said and laughed a little louder than necessary. Then, he noticed the bottle Sicheng was holding and his eyes gleamed with happiness. "Great, I was just about to go and look for you, actually. I'm all out," he said, pointing to his empty cup. 

"Yes, I’m Jungwoo," the other boy politely said, still wearing that signature smile.

   
Yuta was certainly more drunk than when Sicheng last saw him, but he still wasn't at the point where he should definitely stop drinking. And anyway, who was Sicheng to decide who should and should not be drinking? He handed him the bottle and sat next to him, Jungwoo following suit.

It would be too harsh to call the atmosphere awkward, but it certainly wasn't the most enjoyable. The one to blame was definitely Yuta, and Sicheng didn't know whether it was because he took so long or because he brought Jungwoo with him. Either way, it wasn't long before Yuta stood up and said he was gonna go and mingle for a little bit. Sicheng knew what that meant and he knew it was gonna happen sooner or later. He will either drunk call Sana or go and find someone in the crowd to try to forget her. Sicheng hated both of those options. 

When he got out of earshot, Sicheng sighed deeply and turned around to look at Jungwoo. "So, how's your love life going?"

Jungwoo laughed loudly at that, throwing his head back in the process. "So, I was right then. There’s something between you two?"

   
"There’s nothing going on and there never will be. I’m annoyed I even feel this way about a friend."

   
Jungwoo nodded understandingly. "That must be difficult for you. But, how about him? Why are you so fast to rule out a possibility that he likes you back?"

   
Sicheng's stomach turned quickly at the thought. "I just know. He just got out of a relationship with a girl he was really in love with and probably still is. And she’s honestly really great. So, yeah." He felt a phone buzzing in his pocket. "Anyway, it doesn’t really matter, because it’s just a little crush. It’ll go away." When he unlocked his phone, there was a text from Donghyuck.

 

from: Hyuck  
moms here told her to come earlier cuz makk wasn’t feeling well

   
to: Hyuck  
On my way

   
When he looked up, Jungwoo was already looking at him. "I have to go, my ride is here."

Jungwoo nodded. "Are Johnny and Yuta going with you?"

"Yeah, we’re all having a sleepover at Hyuck’s. But, I don’t know how fun it will be now, apparently Mark’s not feeling well," Sicheng said, rolling his eyes.

Jungwoo laughed again. Then, he grabbed something from his pocket, a little box, it seemed, and opened it to show a bunch of white little pills. "These are natural, my mom got them for me, cause I often have anxiety. They’re tranquilizers, but better for you than the crap doctors would prescribe you. Just give him one of these and he’ll sleep like a baby. But, first make him throw up."

Sicheng had to admit, that was a little creepy, but after their hanging out tonight, his gut was telling him that Jungwoo was a nice guy, so he took the pill.

   
"I’ll come with. I’m sure Ten will be sad to see Johnny go, so I have to be there for him, you know?" Jungwoo joked. 

 

They found Yuta and Johnny as soon as they got inside. Ten was with them and they were in a similar position to how Sicheng found them earlier in the night. This time, though, Yuta didn’t look too happy to see him. Deciding there was no time for serious conversations now, he quickly told them they needed to go right away, stifling a laugh at Ten and Johnny’s awkward handshake. When Yuta got up, he took Sicheng's hand in his, and he felt both relieved and anxious at the same time.

 

Jungwoo walked with them to Donghyuck’s car. Mark and Donghyuck were already inside, with Donghyuck yelling at them to "Hurry the fuck up, sorry mom". When everyone else got in, Jungwoo caught Sicheng by the wrist, pulled him close to him and kissed him on the lips. Sicheng was so shocked, he couldn’t speak. Did he give Jungwoo the wrong impression? Couldn’t be, he even told the other boy about Yuta. Probably sensing his inner turmoil, Jungwoo pulled him even closer to whisper in his ear, "I hope this will help." Then, he winked at Sicheng and started going back into the house. Still in shock, Sicheng turned around to see an amused Donghyuck, looking at him through the window of the front seat of the car. "Come on, lover boy, get inside."

Still in a state of shock and feeling a bit awkward, Sicheng got into the car to find an annoying Johnny wiggling his eyebrows at him. "You’re the one to talk!" he said, irritated by his friend’s audacity. Mark, who seemed to be doing much better now, high fived him. Yuta was looking out the window, a weird expression on his face. Sicheng sighed. This will be a long sleepover.


	10. Just a little more time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng is a sophomore and it's the beginning of December

It's freezing outside and it's way too late. Sicheng is cold and exhausted and it's too late for him to be functioning normally. He just wants to finally get home and sleep for 12 hours straight.

"Are we going to my place?" Yuta asks next to him, a loud yawn interrupting his question. 

Sicheng thinks about it for a second, before he decides that yes, going to Yuta's is the best option. His place is the closest and the last thing Sicheng wants now is to walk all the way to his own apartment. His parents would probably also prefer him spending the night at Yuta's, who they adore for some odd reason, rather than walking home alone at night. 

"Yeah, all right." 

They're coming back from some senior kids' party, Yuta, Johnny and he, and it's 3 in the morning and Sicheng feels weird. He's not drunk, not anymore, the alcohol has worn off, but he almost feels like his soul has left his body and he's watching himself from the distance. He's so tired. 

Johnny, on the other hand, is as energetic as he is annoying. So, a concerning amount.

"Are we continuing this party when we get home or what?" he asks, practically bouncing. 

"No!" comes an annoyed reply from both Sicheng and Yuta. 

Yuta, who is notorious for his mood swings and occasional grumpiness, still manages to give Sicheng a smile. He always does, is always nice to Sicheng and that's why he's his favourite out of the two. 

"You're so boring, I can't believe how boring you are!" Johnny protests, mostly to himself, at least already recognizing he's been outvoted.

Sicheng yawns and puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket. That doesn't do shit to make him feel warm, he's still freezing everywhere else, but at least his hands don't feel like they're gonna fall off anymore.

There's still another fifteen minutes of walking before they arrive to Yuta's. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Yuta's extended hand towards him. He's not looking at Sicheng when he says "I'm cold too." 

Sicheng pretends to not understand what he means, deciding to give his attention to Johnny instead. That's always a good distraction. Johnny's always doing something stupid. 

Right now, for example, he's talking to Ten on the phone, practically screaming with laughter, and Sicheng would be embarrassed if he wasn't so tired. And amused.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to hold my hand," Yuta says next to Sicheng.

And Sicheng knows that, he does, but it's easier this way. Easier for Sicheng, which means Yuta is probably confused. He probably doesn't understand why his friend suddenly doesn't want to touch him anymore. But, he never asked why and he's not asking now, he's just stating facts. Yes, it wouldn't kill Sicheng to hold Yuta's hand, that's a fact, but what Yuta doesn't know is that it would hurt Sicheng. He doesn't know that, can't really know it if Sicheng doesn't tell him and he's not going to. It would be pointless. And it would ruin them. And Sicheng doesn't want to ruin them.

So, he just smiles, hoping Yuta won't notice it's forced and says, "You know I don't like skinship." 

Yuta hums in response, seemingly deep in thoughts and Sicheng knows he's worried. He worries and wonders if he did something wrong to draw Sicheng away. Because they used to be touchy before Sana, they used to hold hands and Yuta would sometimes lean his head on Sicheng's shoulder. Of course, it's not Yuta's fault Sicheng can't get over himself. Yuta and Sana are not even together anymore, but it's like some kind of switch was flicked in Sicheng's brain and now he can't go back to how things were before. He's too careful, too in his own head.

Sicheng needs a distraction and Johnny became useless two laugh attacks ago. He's just straight annoying now.

Sicheng also needs time, just a little more time and he'll be over Yuta. He knows he will. And then everything will be like it used to be and Sicheng won't feel uncomfortable half the time he's around Yuta. And Yuta won't feel guilty. Just a little more time. And everything will go back to normal.

He turns to steal a glance at Yuta and he looks as tired as Sicheng feels. He also looks sad. And Sicheng is too exhausted to think properly and his brain hurts from overthinking everything. So, he extends his hand and Yuta is confused, but also hopeful, and his eyes are so expressive and Sicheng feels so bad. He takes Sicheng's hand though, he's almost too eager when he grabs him, almost needy. 

Sicheng takes a deep breath and hopes they'll get home soon. He just wants to sleep.


	11. Group chat that didn't last a month

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng is a freshman

Johnny added Sicheng and Yuta to the group chat People I tolerate

Yuta  
Wow creative

Sicheng   
Lame

Yohnny  
Whatever, we needed a group chat

Sicheng   
Did we, though?

Yuta  
Could be fun 

Johnny   
Thank you

Sicheng   
Fine  
I guess it can be useful  
You guys can help me with classes you already passed

Yuta   
Yeah sure

Johnny   
Hell no  
I didn't make this to bore myself to death  
And for you to spam my phone with stupid questions

Sicheng   
I'm now 100% sure Yuta's my favourite 

Johnny  
Surprise surprise   
Tell me something I don't know 

Sicheng   
How to get your crush to like you back 

Johnny   
That was too mean I hate you  
And where is Yuta?  
At least he's still nice to me

Sicheng   
Nooo I'm sorry 

Yuta   
I'm here  
I was talking to Sana

Johnny  
In the middle of an important moment like this?

Yuta  
Not my fault my crush actually likes me back 

Sicheng   
Hahah

Johnny  
It's literally your fault whose else would it be??   
You know what just go I don't need this negativity 

Sicheng   
I feel like staying for a bit longer though  
Yuta? 

Yuta  
Yeah, me too

Johnny  
I hate you both so much 

Johnny changed the name of the group chat to Johnny and two literal pieces of shit


	12. Come back, I'll make a difference (on the road I walked with you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng is 26, Jungkook is 5

"Please, relax, you're stressing me out! This is supposed to be a nice and chill day," Sicheng told Doyoung in passing, after noticing how stressed out he was. His brother had a habit of taking on himself more than he could manage and it almost always ended in him having a nervous breakdown. But, today was Christmas Eve and Sicheng won't let his brother burn himself out, not on this special day.

 

Doyoung, in return, gave him a pointed look. "You know who you're talking to, right? And you know our apartment's gonna be filled with demons in about," he stopped to look at his watch, his eyes going impossibly wide at the realization of how little time they had left, "Three hours! Oh god, I only have three hours and there's still so much to be done!" He started frantically pacing around the room, entering the kitchen and then immediately getting out of it. "I don't need anything from there, for fuck's sake!"

 

Sicheng stepped closer to Doyoung, taking his sweaty hands in his. "Those demons are our friends and this is not just on you Doyoung, we're all helping! Jisung is bringing the drinks, yes I told him to buy soda for Jungkook," Sicheng quickly added, already knowing how his brother's worrying mind worked. "Johnny and Ten are bringing the chocolate cake and the fruit one is already cooling in the fridge." Doyoung seemed more at ease with every word coming out from his mouth and Sicheng felt pride for being one of the few people who had that affect on him.

 

"Jaehyun and Johnny are on their way, they wrapped up the program a bit earlier today," Sicheng continued and Doyoung relaxed even more at the mention of his husband's name. "I told them to buy some more pastries, those things disappear the quickest." Doyoung nodded approvingly. "And Hyuck and Mark are gonna be here any minute to help us set everything up. So, please stop worrying! It's a Christmas party, after all, not a fucking wedding."

 

"Stop screaming, you'll wake Guka! And don’t curse!" Doyoung replied sharply, never the one to know how to quit being bossy or annoying, no matter the situation. Sicheng could feel his blood boil.

 

"I'm never trying to help you again! You can die from stress for all I care," he hissed at his brother, walking to the front door to let people in after hearing the bell.

 

On the other side of the door, Mark and Donghyuck had more bags with them than they could physically carry, painful expressions on their faces. "Move, I'm gonna die if I have to carry this for another second," Donghyuck complained instead of a greeting, throwing all of his bags carelessly on the ground, even before he managed to properly step into the apartment. Mark tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace. Sicheng quickly stepped away to let him in.

 

"What even is all of this?" he asked incredulously. They decided to split costs for the party, or rather, everyone was in charge of a different thing. Mark and Donghyuck got stuck with a preparation and cleaning duty, despite Donghyuck's excessive whining. He insisted he would rather spend a ton of money on the most expensive drinks than having to do physical work. Everyone ignored him, since nobody wanted to do it either. "You weren't supposed to buy anything."

 

Donghyuck, who was now lying on the couch, waiting for Doyoung to bring him a glass of water, dramatically sighed. "What did you expect Sicheng, that I would just show up in front of my godson empty-handed?"

 

Sicheng smiled despite himself. "Hyuck, you didn't have to buy all this. Guka loves you guys so much, he would be happy even if you just bought him a book or something."

 

Donghyuck gasped dramatically. Mark rolled his eyes. Doyoung got back from the kitchen, empty-handed. Then, he took one look at a still panting Donghyuck. "Goddamnit!" he cursed and turned back around.

 

“Markie and Hyuck,” Jungkook exclaimed happily as soon as he came into the room and saw his second favourite duo. He started running towards Mark, only stopping to give Donghyuck a high five, before hurriedly continuing. He then hugged Mark tightly and crawled into his lap, smiling happily. “Today’s gonna be so awesome. Jisung and Lele are coming too and we’re all gonna play together!” he said excitedly and then nuzzled into Mark’s neck.

 

Donghyuck drank his water fervently, gulping loudly and spilling just a little bit down his chin, before he put the glass down and fell back into the sofa. “I see that your child still prefers Mark over me, not to mention how he prefers Jisung and Chenle over both of us, which is honestly ridiculous.”

 

Sicheng shushed him dismissively and turned to Jungkook. “Look at what Mark and Hyuck got you for Christmas, Guka,” he said, pointing at the bags that were now scattered all over the floor.

 

Jungkook perked up at the mention of presents and quickly left Mark’s lap to see what Sicheng was pointing at. When he saw the number of bags his face lit up. “This is all for me?” he asked incredulously.

 

Mark opened his mouth to say something, but Donghyuck was faster. “Yes, it’s all for you and I picked everything!”

 

Jungkook ran up to Donghyuck to give him a big hug and then the two of them, alongside Mark, went to place the gifts under the Christmas tree.

 

Finally alone, Sicheng breathed out and threw himself on the couch, happy to sit in a silence for a little bit, even though he could still hear Jungkook’s excited squeals from the next room. He smiled despite himself.  Not even a minute later, Doyoung entered the room, sitting next to him. There went his temporary peace. Accepting his fate, Sicheng put his head on his brother’s shoulder. “I love Christmas,” he said softly. “Look at how happy Jungkook is.” He felt Doyoung nodding.

 

It always hits him during the holidays, this feeling of immense gratitude towards his brother and, by extension, Jaehyun. They have given him so much and changed their lives drastically so that he would have it easier. Most of all, they seemed to genuinely enjoy sharing their space and life with him and Jungkook, and Sicheng could never thank them enough for it.

 

“I really love you, you know? You’re the best brother in the world,” Sicheng said softly, putting his hands around Doyoung’s arm and squeezing it for the emphasis.

 

Doyoung laughed lightly and patted his head. “You get like this every Christmas.”

 

“But, it’s the truth! And I know things are changing rapidly and you’re probably worried about me. But, no matter what happens, I know you’ll always have my back, and that’s why I’m never too scared of anything. Because you’re always by my side.”

 

Doyoung was silent for a few moments before he turned to face Sicheng so that he could look at him properly. “I never really told you this, because I was trying to stay strong for you, but I felt horrible for leaving you when I went to China. Especially after meeting Jaehyun, I started loving it there so much, but I could never let myself enjoy it completely, because I was always worrying about you. And, I knew you were doing fine here, you had people looking out for you and you were with Renjun at the time, but it’s just a big brother thing, you know? I couldn’t help it.” He fell silent for a moment and then sighed loudly. “Why couldn’t you just stay with Renjun? Then I would never have to worry about you.” Sicheng laughed at that, loudly and abruptly, thankful for a sudden change of mood, since he was almost on a verge of tears just now. He knew that the Renjun thing was only a half-joke. Doyoung never hid his affection for Renjun, nor his disappointment when Sicheng and he broke up.

 

Their little bonding time soon got interrupted, with Jungkook running into the room and coming up to them to share his excitement. “Dad, I got so many gifts, Mark and Hyuck are the best! But Mark said I shouldn’t open them now, that I have to open them on Christmas, so I’m gonna wait and open them tomorrow morning.” Sicheng and Doyoung nodded enthusiastically, both used to pretending that everything that gets out of Jungkook’s mouth is the most interesting thing ever. Jungkook quickly continued, “But, I’m gonna wake up really early, like 5 am!”

 

Sicheng’s face lit up. The little bore practically did his job, now he won’t even have to say much. “Okay, but then you have to go to bed early so that you can be well-rested in the morning. You don’t wanna be tired while opening your presents, right?”

 

Jungkook quickly shook his head, huge eyes looking at him intently. Sicheng felt the strongest urge to squeeze his son and never let him go. It happened a lot. Instead, he put him on the sofa between Doyoung and himself. His brother ruffled Jungkook’s hair and then stood up to join Mark in the kitchen.

 

“Dad and his friends need to prepare everything for the party. Do you want to watch some cartoons while we do that?” he asked, knowing the answer already. Jungkook nodded eagerly.

 

“I mean,“ Donghyuck started as soon as he entered the living room, apparently having heard their previous conversation, “I can totally keep Guka company over there, I wouldn’t want him to get bored in a house full of people.” Jungkook made a series of excited sounds which only encouraged Donghyuck further. After seeing the unimpressed look on Sicheng’s face, he quickly continued, “You know I would just be in everyone’s way, distracting them with my hilarious jokes, and it would take you guys twice as much time to finish everything.” He then sat next to Jungkook and both of them put on their most pleading faces.

 

There wasn’t much left to do anyway, with Doyoung, Jaehyun and Sicheng having finished most of the job. And Donghyuck was right, he would only annoy everyone. It was definitely for the best to keep him out of it. “I guess you can stay here,” he said as reluctantly as he could manage. “But you owe me one!”

 

“Yes!” both of them shouted, high fiving each other happily. Sicheng felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. 

 

**from: Taeyong**

When should I come?

 

Lately, Sicheng’s heart has been reacting weirdly to receiving Taeyong’s messages, talking to him, or even just hearing his name. He couldn’t really explain it. When they broke up, there was no doubt in Sicheng’s mind that it was over for good. Back then, he told Taeyong he didn’t love him anymore and he wasn’t lying. Well, not entirely. The thing is, Sicheng thinks he will always be a little bit in love with Taeyong. There was something about him, the thing that mesmerized Sicheng the first time he ever saw him, and the same thing that kept him by Taeyong’s side even when it clearly wasn’t working out for them anymore. So, yes, Sicheng thinks he will always be a little bit in love with Taeyong, but lately it’s been different.

 

**to: Taeyong**

Whenever’s fine, but guests aren’t coming for another couple of hours

 

 

He started putting his phone back in the pocket, but the reply came immediately.

 

**from: Taeyong**

Do you need help with anything?

 

**to: Taeyong**

Nope, we’re almost done

 

 

Another immediate response.

 

 

**from: Taeyong**

Is it okay if I still come earlier?

 

 

Sicheng couldn’t keep a smile from spreading across his face. Good thing he wasn’t facing Donghyuck, because that bitch would surely question his sudden happiness.

 

 

**to: Taeyong**

Hahah yes I told you already

 

**from: Taeyong**

Haha just checking

I’m on my way.

 

 

Sicheng pocketed his phone and turned back around, only to see Jungkook leaning on Donghyuck, his head resting against the elder’s side, Donghyuck’s arm wrapped around him loosely. Sicheng squealed internally because that was the cutest sight he’s ever seen. “Guka, dad’s coming soon.” Jungkook excitedly uttered how happy he was and Donghyuck gave Sicheng a questioning look. He waved him off and mouthed ‘later’ to him, before turning around to start walking towards the kitchen. Behind him, he heard Donghyuck say to Jungkook: “I’m gonna go help your dad for a bit, but I’ll be right back. And, I’m gonna bring you a treat. Okay, bye.”

 

Sicheng quickened his pace, hoping to get to the others fast, so that Donghyuck wouldn’t be able to interrogate him. Actually, he would probably do it even in front of them, if Sicheng thought about it. Before he even had the chance of stepping into the kitchen, there was a hand on his shoulder and a voice near his ear. “So, Taeyong is coming to the party?”

 

"Yes," Sicheng answered reluctantly. "But, I don't wanna talk about it, you'll just make a big deal out of it."

 

Donghyuck gave him a worrying look. "That's because it is a big deal. Last time I checked you guys were strictly business."

 

"Well, maybe you haven't checked in a while," he replied, knowing he's already lost this argument.

 

Donghyuck only rolled his eyes. "We talk almost every day, Sicheng. Why didn't you mention anything to me?"

 

"Because,” he started slowly “nothing happened." How was he supposed to talk to other people about it, when he himself didn't know exactly what was happening? "We've just been talking more lately and honestly, I don't know. Something's changed and now I'm confused. But it's good," he trailed off, lifting his head to look at Donghyuck, who had an unreadable expression on his face.

 

"What about Yuta?" he asked carefully.

 

Sicheng's head snapped faster than it ever did before, throwing all of his possible intentions to be casual about this out the window.

 

"What about him?" he asked challengingly.

 

Donghyuck didn't seem all that intimidated. "I just thought that-"

 

"What did you think?" Sicheng asked, annoyance slowly growing into proper anger.

 

"I didn't know we couldn't even talk about it."

 

Sicheng scoffed and laughed bitterly. "You of all people should know we don't talk about it."

 

The silence between them grew more uncomfortable with every passing second. Sicheng took a deep breath. He didn't even know he would get this affected at the mere mention of Yuta's name. Actually, no, it was Donghyuck's insinuation that upset him. Sicheng didn't think there was any need to mention it, let alone talk about it, not after everything that happened.

 

His phone buzzed again, and this time, it was a message from Johnny.

 

 

**from: Johnny**

You’ll never guess who I’m bringing

 

 

Sicheng rolled his eyes. “Renjun’s coming, everyone.”

 

Donghyuck gave him a questioning look. “Really?”

 

“Johnny just texted me ‘you’ll never guess who I’m bringing’ so, yeah.”

 

“Ah, makes sense,” Donghyuck nodded knowingly.

 

It has kind of become a joke between them, that every time Johnny has a surprise for him, it’s somehow related to Renjun. The surprise wasn’t always Renjun in person, of course, but it did happen a few times, and the first time it happened, Sicheng cried. He hadn’t seen Renjun in a couple of years, because he was living in China at the time, and when he finally got back, he wanted to surprise Sicheng, so he contacted Johnny first. Of course, Sicheng didn’t suspect anything when Johnny told him he had a surprise for him, and when he showed up in front of Sicheng’s house later that day, with Renjun in tow, he couldn’t believe his eyes. And then he shed a few tears.

 

The thing is, Renjun was, and always will be, one of the most important people in Sicheng’s life. That saying that you can’t stay friends with your ex – it definitely didn’t apply to the two of them. Their breakup was amicable and it was a completely mutual decision that didn’t leave either of them hurt. Sure, Sicheng was sad at the beginning, but not because he was still in love with Renjun, but because he missed spending time with him. And, after a long and heartfelt conversation, they agreed they didn’t want to live without each other and a beautiful friendship was born.

 

In front of him, Donghyuck was looking at him carefully. Sicheng rolled his eyes. “Stop looking at me like that, I’m fine!” and then, in a softer voice, he added: “I’m sorry for losing my shit. Let’s just not talk about it now, Taeyong’s gonna be here soon anyway.”

 

Sicheng was determined not to make this night about Taeyong and certainly not to make it about Yuta. It should be about family and close friends and that's exactly who he was surrounded by. Plus, Renjun was coming, which was unexpected, but highly appreciated.

 

"Hyuck, hurry up, you're missing all the best parts," Jungkook whined from the living room.

 

Sicheng had to smile at his son's cuteness. "Go!" I'll get you some snacks in a bit, I just have to see if Doyoung and Mark need any help."

 

Finally stepping into the kitchen, he was impressed by how everything looked. All of the food had already been prepared, but the guys have arranged it beautifully and made it look even more delicious. The apartment had already been decorated, Jungkook wanted it to be festive as early as the beginning of December. The only thing that was left were the drinks and Sicheng started seeing the flaw in their planning. Jisung and Chenle were the ones in charge of the drinks. They've also never gotten anywhere on time and Sicheng needed a drink right about now.

 

"Everything looks amazing! Mark, who would've known you had it in you?" he teased his friend. "Actually, no, I just remembered my first date with Renjun. You were the only one that was actually useful that day," Sicheng said, laughing at the memories.

 

Mark laughed as well. "Oh yeah, when I kind of came out to you. That was embarrassing."

 

Sicheng cringed at the memory. "Nooo, it was cute, I thought it was very cute."

 

"Guuuys, stop talking about all the things that happened when I was away, okay? I feel bad" Doyoung pouted.

 

Both Sicheng and Mark laughed. Then they looked at each other and Mark gave him the sweetest, most genuine smile and Sicheng felt a surge of affection for the boy. Theirs was such an underrated friendship, always in the shadow of Sicheng and Donghyuck's infamous, more like a kinship, over twenty years old one. But, Sicheng loved Mark very much, he got along with him surprisingly well and Jungkook was obsessed with him.

 

On his way to the fridge, he patted Mark's shoulder, hoping that it conveyed at least a little bit of what he was feeling at the moment. Mark put his hand on Sicheng’s briefly, before continuing to chat with Doyoung about their thoughts on cigarettes. Well, they were never the ones for skinship anyway.

 

"I get it. When Hyuck used to smoke, it would really bother me. The smell, you know? But, over time, I got used to it. And then he quit."

 

"Well, I don't think Jaehyun's ever gonna quit for good. He tried it once, but started smoking again after a year."

 

Sicheng tuned their conversation out after that, placing a few cookies on a tray and getting them to Jungkook and Donghyuck. Just as he was about to sit down and join them, the bell rang.

 

"I'll get it!" he screamed to no one in particular.

 

A feeling of excitement and happiness started coursing through his body and Sicheng told himself it was because Renjun was coming. Trying not to look too happy, he took a deep breath and opened the door, only to ask himself for the nth time in his life why did one of his oldest and closest friends, one of the few constants in his life, had to be such a stupid bitch.

 

In front of him, Johnny was smiling widely, carrying a pink cake in one hand and a set of party hats in another. Jaehyun and Ten had apologetic looks on their faces. Taeyong looked uncomfortable to be there. And, Yuta. Yuta looked better than Sicheng's ever seen him. Renjun was not there, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm especially not sure about this timeline, I feel like I kinda rushed into it, but oh well, we're here now


	13. Hold my hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this way earlier than I originally planned because it's a winren chapter and Sicheng and Renjun both deserve better (especially in the light of everything that's been happening lately)  
> If you're here only for yuwin, sorry

"You look nice today" is the first thing Renjun says when Sicheng picks him up in front of his house. Sicheng smiles. It's sunny outside, with just a little bit of breeze. A perfect weather for Renjun's special day.

 

"Happy birthday, baby!" Sicheng says, giving him a peck and then hugs him tightly. "Can't believe my boy is seventeen already!" He ruffles Renjun's hair, laughing when he tries and fails to get away. "You still look sixteen, though."

 

Renjun laughs. "And you look thirty five. Now, where are you taking me?"

 

"I was thinking a museum first where we stay for hours and we skip lunch and at midnight, we go watch a horor movie." He takes Renjun's hand in his and they start walking towards the bus stop.

 

Despite his joke being terrible, Renjun laughs. "Hilarious." He sways their joined hands and it feels nice. Sicheng thinks he'll never not feel anything when they touch. "What's up with that?" Renjun asks, looking at the basket in Sicheng's hand. "Are we going on a picnic?"

 

For a second, Sicheng thinks that Renjun maybe won't like the idea as much as he thought he would. Planning this whole thing, it seemed like a nice activity to start the day with, and Renjun once mentioned how he thought picnics were 'so cute'. Now, though, he's doubting himself and it's so ridiculous because Renjun's smiling widely, looking very excited. 

 

"Is that something you would want to do?"

 

"Hell yeah it is! Picnics are so cute!" He raises his hand to give Sicheng a high five. "Good job, boyfriend!" 

 

Sicheng smiles proudly. He really is the best boyfriend. And although that's not exactly what Renjun said, he probably meant it anyway.

 

"You're the best boyfriend ever!"

 

He turns to look at Renjun, astonished at their awesomeness. What a power couple they are, it's amazing, really!

 

"Goosebumps, babe! I was just thinking that, and then you said it!" he says excitedly, taking a mental note to tell this to all of his friends. 

 

"You were thinking about how you're the best boyfriend ever?"

 

"Yup!"

 

"Yeah, makes sense." 

 

 

The park Sicheng chose for their picnic date isn't that big, but what it lacks in size, it more than makes up for in its beauty. It's full of gorgeous blooming trees and Sicheng is thankful that Renjun's birthday happens to be during a cherry blossom season. There's also a small lake in the middle of the park and they decide to take a place right next to it.

 

"I can't believe we've never been here before, it's beautiful!" Renjun says, sitting down on the blanket Sicheng brought with him. 

 

He opens the basket and takes out two cups, filling them with hot chocolate he made earlier this morning. "I know! I was walking here the other day, and then I saw it and thought 'This will be perfect for our date!"

 

"Oh, is this a date? Did you think this was a date? Awkward," Renjun jokes, engrossing himself completely in the role. Sicheng playfully hits his arm, but can't help but laugh. 

 

"Oh my god, when are you gonna realize you're not funny?"

 

Renjun is quick to answer. "When you stop laughing at my jokes." He smirks, proud of his little burn and Sicheng is in love. He has such a strong urge to kiss his boyfriend, but he has remainings of hot chocolate all over his lips and it looks nasty, so he restrains himself.

 

"Touché."

 

 

If you asked Sicheng about his best memory, he wouldn't be able to tell you what it is. Not because he didn't have any, but because he had so many. There was so many happy moments he could choose from, from all of the time he spent with Doyoung, all the adventures he had with Johnny and Yuta, to his dates with Renjun. One of the things that always come to his mind is his first date with Renjun, so, naturally, when he started planning his birthday, he had to include a trip to the amusement park.

 

"It's even better now than when we first went! They added a lot of stuff," Renjun points out, happiness apparent on his face.

 

He is looking around the park with amazement and wonder and Sicheng knows he made the right choice.

 

They've known each other for a little over six months, but Sicheng thinks he already knows his boyfriend pretty well. It has a lot to do with the fact that Renjun's pretty straightforward - he tells him right away what he likes and what he doesn't like. It's not rare that kids their age play a lot of games and act immature when they're in a relationship, but that's not Renjun. Sicheng doesn't think that's him either, but maybe the two of them just work well together.

 

Sicheng takes a look around himself. They did add a lot of cool stuff, it looks even better now. The park was already more developed and equipped than the other two parks in their town and it's become a popular hanging spot since it's opening. Today, it's not that crowded and Sicheng is thankful because he doesn't want anything to spoil Renjun's special day.

 

"So, where do you wanna go first?"

 

"It doesn't matter because we're gonna go on every ride anyway," Renjun states, taking Sicheng's hand. "Also, I'm gonna beat you at games this time!"

 

Sicheng gasps, pretending to be insulted. "Do you really think I'm gonna let you win just because it's your birthday? Well, think again!"

 

Renjun laughs, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "You're on fire today, I like it." There's something in his eyes when Sicheng looks at him, something that he learned meant adoration. Or at least that's what he thinks it is. When Renjun next speaks, Sicheng thinks he must be right. "I'm really happy, you know?" he says with so much fondness in his voice that Sicheng almost melts, almost gets choked up.

 

"Me too," he manages. He really is happy.

 

 

"How is there more?" Renjun asks bewildered, while they're walking towards the last stop on Sicheng's list. "This day has already been the best!"

 

"There's only one more thing and I think you're gonna like it."

 

This one, Sicheng is the most confident about. It's the grand finale of the day. He put a lot of thought into it and it turned out great, so he's not worried. Also, Renjun is looking at him in a way that suggests he would lie and say he loved it even if he didn't. Which is good to know.

 

"I know I'm gonna like it," he says honestly, squeezing Sicheng's hand. 

 

They're almost there and it's almost nine o'clock. Looking back at today, they really did have so much fun. They always do when they're together. Sicheng knows it's silly and probably too early to be thinking like this, but he really hopes they always stay together.

 

When they finally arrive, Sicheng tells Renjun to close his eyes. "Is that really necessary?" he asks, but laughs anyway. 

 

"Yes! Now close them!" He goes to take Renjun's hand, but they're already holding hands, they've been holding hands since this morning. Sicheng can't seem to get enough of Renjun's touch. 

 

They enter the apartment Sicheng rented and, at his signal, everybody screams 'Happy birthday!' at the same time. Next to him, Renjun seems genuinely surprised. He also looks really happy. 

 

People come to congratulate him and give him presents and Sicheng leaves him to it. He checks his phone and sees a message from his brother, the only person who couldn't be here tonight. 

 

 

from: Doyoung

What is the address of the apartment you rented for the party?

 

 

Sicheng stares at the message, confused as to why Doyoung would ask him about that. He texts him the address anyway. Knowing Doyoung, he probably wanted to check if the apartment was in the good neighbourhood. He wouldn't be surprised if his brother called him a taxi himself, all the way from China, just to make sure he got home safe.

 

"So, the party is a success," comes Donghyuck's voice from somewhere next to him. Sicheng pockets his phone. "Renjun seems happy. Did you have fun today?"

 

"It was the best, really," he says, and then, because he's emotional and it's just Donghyuck there, he adds, "I really like him, Hyuck. I really, really like him."

 

Donghyuck smiles and gives him a hug. "I know. And he really, really likes you too." When they break apart, Donghyuck is still smiling and looking at him fondly, but there's a certain sadness in his eyes. Sicheng feels sorry for his friend, until Mark comes up to them and asks if he could steal Donghyuck for a while. He has a shy smile on his face and when Sicheng says it's okay, he takes Donghyuck's hand in his. Sicheng knows they're gonna be all right.

 

The party seems to be a success and everybody seems to be having a good time. Chenle, Jisung and the two boys Sicheng only recently met, Xiao Jun and YangYang are having some kind of dance contest in the middle of the room. Johnny, Renjun and Ten are on the sofa, seemingly having a serious conversation, judging by everyone's faces, but then Johnny laughs loudly at something Ten says and Renjun startles, almost falling off the sofa.

 

"That was smooth," Sicheng starts conversationally when he's in front of Renjun. 

 

Renjun rolls his eyes. "That's cause Johnny's a literal monster."

 

"Uh, I hate to say this, but this doesn't sit well with me. I'm usually the one who insults Johnny, and now that I hear other people do it, I kinda want to defend him. Is that weird?"

 

Renjun laughs. "It's weird that you two are even friends, that's what's weird."

 

Sicheng shrugs. He takes another look at Johnny and sees him trying to balance a bottle of water on his head, Ten watching him with amusement. He shudders. "Yeah, you're right," he says, turning his attention back to his boyfriend.

 

Renjun is looking at him softly, taking his hands in his and moving him closer to him. "Thank you, baby," he says, giving him a gentle kiss. "This is so nice." He's still so close to Sicheng and he's talking against his lips. "You're so nice. And pretty." Sicheng laughs. He kisses Renjun for real this time, not caring about people around them. He only has eyes for Renjun today, anyway. 

 

Someone knocks on the door and Sicheng reluctantly pulls away from Renjun. "I thought everyone was here already?" Renjun just shrugs.

 

Sicheng looks at him pointedly. "Well, you go open the door! What if it's a killer or something?"

 

"Are you admitting I would be better at fighting a killer than you?" Renjun asks, laughing.

 

"Of course not, baby, I'm just being lazy. Now go!" Sicheng hurries him. Renjun scoffs, rolling his eyes, but goes to open the door anyway. "It's not a killer, you're actually gonna love this!" he shouts from the hallway. 

 

That piques Sicheng's interest and when he steps in the hallway, there's a tired looking Doyoung in the doorway, smiling widely.

 

"Surprise!"

 

This really is the best day ever.


	14. Mornings like these

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng is 20

Sicheng loved mornings like this. Peaceful and quiet, with the warm sunlight coming through the window. He never understood how some people could put their blinds down before going to bed - he enjoyed being woken up by the sun. Still half asleep, he turned around to find the other side of the bed empty, covers neatly made, a small note on the pillow. 

I have a morning class, will be back around noon. There's breakfast in the kitchen for my prince xx

Sicheng smiled silly at the note, feeling all warm and soft inside at how sweet and thoughtful his boyfriend was. Taking a look at the clock on the bedside table, he saw that it was already 11. Deciding that he could afford to laze around just a little bit longer, he took his phone, only to find a bunch of messages from Donghyuck, mostly memes, so he ignored those, one from Jungwoo where he invited Sicheng to dinner tonight, which he gladly accepted, Jungwoo's cooking was the best, and a missed call from Jaehyun from two hours ago, followed by a cryptic message - Call me as soon as you see this.

Now, Sicheng wasn't someone who usually panicked without a good reason or jumped to conclusions, but his brain couldn't help but imagine different scenarios of what could've happened to Doyoung that made Jaehyun call him that early in the morning. It was something serious, that much was obvious, otherwise Jaehyun wouldn't tell him to call him right back.

Trying to suppress the unsettling feeling that appeared in his stomach, Sicheng quickly dialed Jaehyun's number, hoping for the best. 

He picked up after the third ring. 

"Hey, what's up?"

"What's up?" Sicheng asked, disbelief apparent in his voice. "What happened, is there something wrong with Doyoung?" 

"No? Why would there be something wrong with him?" 

Sicheng sighed, feeling annoyed at his brother's boyfriend (he might've just lost a title of a friend after this), but so relieved at the same time. "You called at 9am, Jaehyun, and made it seem like it was urgent, what was I supposed to think?" 

Jaehyun had the audacity to chuckle. "I'm sorry. It is kind of urgent though. And you know that my brain works the best in the morning." 

Sicheng rolled his eyes. He could almost see Jaehyun's sheepish face in front of him. "All right, what is it?"

"Okay, so you know how I love Doyoung very much and how I always say that he's the love of my life?"

Sicheng rolled his eyes again. Yes, he knew, everyone did. As much as he was happy that his brother found his soulmate (Doyoung's words, not his), they were the kind of couple that made everyone around them jealous because of how perfect they were together. It would definitely annoy Sicheng if he wasn't in a happy relationship himself.

After a few moments of silence, it became apparent that Jaehyun was actually expecting an answer. God. "Yes, it's really annoying, actually. Where are you going with this?" 

Another beat of silence. "I'm gonna ask him to marry me."

Sicheng stilled for a few seconds, before his brain actually caught up with Jaehyun's words, and then he screamed. "Oh my god, are you serious?" 

Jaehyun laughed from the other end of the line. "Yes, I mean, it was bound to happen at some point." 

"I know, I just didn't expect it to happen this soon." 

"Well, I don't think we're gonna do it any time soon, I just need to ask him now. I think the time's right. Wait, you don't think he's gonna say no, do you?"

Sicheng snorted. "Please, you two are made for each other. And so in love. So, so in love, it's borderline disgusting. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd already imagined this, to be honest."

There was a weird noise coming from the receiver. "I might have cried a little just now. Okay, so you think I should do it? Even if it's too early and we're still young and stupid?" 

It was obvious that Jaehyun had already made a decision and that he was gonna do it either way. Sicheng wouldn't even dream of disapproving, anyway. Yes, they were quite young, with Doyoung being 22 and Jaehyun only 21, but Sicheng had to agree with Jaehyun. The time did feel right, and it's not like they have to get married right away. It's about the act of asking, the promise that will be made. I'll never love anyone else, I want to stay with you forever. Sicheng thought that was really sweet and absolutely something that was to be expected from Doyoung and Jaehyun. 

"Yes! You guys are everyone's otp. You're the reason all of us believe in love. If you don't do it, who will?" Sicheng said, only half joking. "So, when are you gonna ask him?"

"I don't know, soon? But I have to plan it properly first. Will you help me?"

Sicheng could almost cry from how happy and overwhelmed he felt at the moment. "Of course! I can't wait!"

There was a happy laughter followed by rushed words said in an obnoxious whisper . "Me neither! Okay, I have to go now, Doyoung just got back. Talk to you soon!"

Still feeling giddy from the conversation, Sicheng happily bounced to the kitchen, ready to devour everything his boyfriend had made. Just as he was about to put the first bite of pancakes in his mouth, the front door opened. 

"I'm in the kitchen!" Sicheng shouted. Taeyong soon walked in, carrying two paper cups with him, a big smile on his face. Then, he suddenly stopped, dropping his backpack on the floor in the process. 

"Fuck, I literally just remembered," he said, an annoyed look on his face. 

"What? What happened?" 

Taeyong sighed, putting the cups on the table and throwing himself in the chair across from Sicheng . "I bought you coffee. I can't believe I'm such an idiot. I know you always drink green tea, I just automatically ordered two coffees. I'm sorry, baby."

Sicheng started laughing, surprised that was the thing Taeyong was stressing about. "Oh my god, Taeyong, it literally doesn't matter. You made me breakfast. You're the best. Also, Taeil is coming over soon, so he can have it." 

Taeyong seemed to relax at that, getting up from his chair to come closer to Sicheng. "I missed you, baby, the class was so boring. I couldn't wait to come back home to you," he said, throwing his arms around Sicheng's shoulders and kissing his neck. "Have you not eaten yet? Did you wait for me to get back so that we could eat together?" Taeyong cooed at him and Sicheng couldn't help but laugh.

"Stop it, you know I hate it when you baby me!" he protested, trying to get away. "Oh my god, I didn't tell you the news! Jaehyun called earlier, he's gonna propose to Doyoung!"

Taeyong's eyes widened, face full of surprise. "Really? But, they're so young. I mean, I'm happy for them, of course, but isn't it kind of sudden?" He was now back in his own seat, putting a bunch of pancakes on his plate and having a big slurp of his coffee. 

"Yeah, that's what I thought at first, but it kind of makes sense to me now, I don't know."

"I guess it does for them, I honestly never see them breaking up. But the fact is that most of young marriages end up with divorces. I'm not saying that's gonna happen to them, I actually don't think it will, but it does happen a lot."

Sicheng eyed Taeyong suspiciously. "Don't worry about other couples and be happy for my brother." That earned him a laugh. 

"I am!" Taeyong said quickly. "Really, I am." Then, he carefully continued, "And what about you? Do you want to get married?" 

That caught Sicheng by surprise. The topic never really came up before, which was normal since they've only been dating for a few months. But, sometimes it was hard reading Taeyong and distinguishing between a casual conversation and an interrogation. 

"Yes, but not yet. Not in the next ten years or so. Same goes for kids." 

Taeyong nodded. "I agree." Then, he suddenly stood up, quickly grabbing his empty plate from the table. "I'm gonna tidy up the apartment a little bit before Taeil comes over. You finish your meal in peace, baby, but don't forget to put the plate in the dishwasher when you're finished." He gave Sicheng a quick kiss on the forehead and then left the kitchen. 

It was quiet once again, before Sicheng heard the sound of a vacuum cleaner coming from the living room. He turned on the TV and flicked aimlessly through the channels. After a while, he settled on Up and found himself crying and laughing three minutes into the movie. Careful not to get caught by Taeyong, he furiously wiped his tears while laughing at himself for how ridiculous he was being. 

He pulled out his phone, scrolling for longer than he would like, to find his chat with Yuta. 

to: Yuta  
First 10 minutes of Up 😭😭😭

Yuta's reply came almost immediately. 

from: Yuta   
Don't remind me OMG I'm sensitive these days   
How have you been? 

to: Yuta  
I'm fine, but Dojae is getting engaged!! Jaehyun's gonna propose soon, so don't tell anyone yet! I had to tell you though, I'm really excited! 

from: Yuta   
OMG YESSWS   
True love does exist   
I'm so happy   
I love them   
Man Johnny's gonna flip when he finds out   
He's gonna realize how old we're getting   
He's known Jaehyun since they were kids   
And now Jaehyun's getting married   
He's probably gonna feel pressured to propose to Ten, he's that stupid hahah 

Sicheng broke into a fit of laughter at Yuta's last message, which, combined with some stray tears left from his crying session before, probably made him look like a crazy person. 

to: Yuta  
But why are you so right though??  
Do you want to hang out later? 

This time, it took Yuta a bit longer to answer. Sicheng managed to finish his food and take care of all of the dishes, before he got another message from him.

from: Yuta   
I can't today   
Sorry   
I'll let you know when I'm free 

Sicheng frowned. There go his afternoon plans. 

to: Yuta  
Oh okay   
Let me know!  
Can't wait to catch up  
I missed you a lot

After that, Sicheng went on with his day, having a lovely time with Taeyong and Taeil. He forgot about the messages he'd sent to Yuta and wasn't waiting for an answer, which was good, because he never got one.


	15. Your lips come and take me to the place to go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place immediately after my Markhyuck fic, so you can go and read that if you want :)  
> Sicheng is turning 18 in this one, they're celebrating his birthday

"And then he farted and Johnny didn't let him live it down for the rest of the night. It was the funniest thing ever, really!" Yuta finally says, barely keeping it together enough to finish his own story and Sicheng thinks about how typical this is. Yuta, finding himself hilarious, not even being able to tell the story till the end before bursting into laughter and making everyone else laugh too, even if his story wasn't that funny to begin with. 

"Let the poor Mark alone!" Sicheng tries to defend his friend, but, honestly, it's like the kid exists to be made fun of. He's not about to tell Yuta that, though. 

"No, no, I love Mark, but he farts too much, you have to admit!" Yuta continues, clearly determined to drag Mark down completely. 

And Sicheng can't stop laughing and he drank too much, but he's still apparently a better friend than Yuta is, so he knows this needs to stop. Also, imagining Mark farting is not a pretty image. "Oh my god, can we stop talking about Mark farting, please?"

"Can he stop farting, then?" Yuta is quick to answer and he says it with a completely straight face that Sicheng loses it once again. 

"Yuta!" he tries to sound stern, but it comes off pathetic and not at all threatening like he intended it to.

"Fine! He's still cute, though, somehow, isn't he?

This, Sicheng can easily agree with. "Right? He's the cutest."

Yuta hums, seemingly deep in thought. "It's a mystery." 

They're currently back at Yuta's place after their night out celebrating Sicheng's birthday. It was a good time, one that Sicheng spent with his closest friends, dancing, drinking and having fun, but it wasn't until the very end of the night, when he and Yuta were already leaving the club, ready to go home, that the biggest event of the night happened - the long awaited get together of Mark and Donghyuck. Sicheng still can't believe they finally got over themselves and got together and, more importantly, that he was there to witness it. 

It's like Yuta can read his mind when he says: "I still can't believe Mark and Donghyuck are together now. And I can't believe you never told me anything about that! You practically knew everything that was happening, you knew more than Donghyuck!" 

"I promised I would keep quiet, to both of them," Sicheng defends himself quickly. "But yeah, it's weird that it finally happened." 

It's peaceful for a few moments, when they're just sitting and drinking in a comfortable silence, but he's with Yuta, so, not even a minute later, his friend comes up with another dumb question. And this one might be the dumbest of them all. "Okay, so, fuck, marry, kill, our friends edition, go!"

Sicheng almost spits his drink. "I'm not playing that!"

"Why not?" Yuta asks, genuinely confused. 

"Because! It's weird!" 

"Come on, don't be boring!" Yuta urges, looking at him like he's the one being ridiculous here. He's not, by the way, it's Yuta. It's always Yuta. 

"I wouldn't even know what to say!" Sicheng tries to reason, but he's learned a thing or two about Yuta over the years and his acquired knowledge tells him the other will not let this go easily. 

Yuta just waves him off dismissively. "I'll give you time to think about it, that's not a problem."

"And what about you? You talk like you won't need any time to think about this, like you already have your answers," Sicheng says, hoping to throw the other boy off, but when Yuta just shrugs and says: "Yeah, pretty much," he loses all hope.

"You thought about this before? You're so weird." It's actually not that surprising that Yuta thought about it. He likes things like that - ranking stuff, choosing his favourite among a group of things, talking about which one of his friends he would fuck - normal stuff like that. Sicheng just doesn't want to have to say he would kill Johnny for the nth time in his life. The poor guy doesn't deserve all the bashing he gets. Just most of it.

Yuta looks affronted, but he's quick to continue with his persuasions. "It's not weird, don't be a stuck up, come on!"

There's no point in arguing anymore, Sicheng realizes, and it's not like he's really that against doing it. It's always nice to oppose Yuta, though, even if it's just for a little while. "Fine, let's do it, god!" Johnny is not here anyway and what he doesn't know won't kill him.

Yuta smiles brightly, clapping his hands excitedly. "Yay! Okay, you first! He puts both of his legs on the couch then, crossing them, and turns his whole body to face Sicheng, looking at him expectedly. Even his beer is forgotten somewhere on the table. He's way into this, Sicheng concludes. 

"Why do I have to go first?" he asks then, both to be annoying and because he still has no idea who to choose. 

"It's more fun that way. Go!" Yuta urges, slapping him lightly across the leg.

"Fine! Okay, let me think," he starts, genuinely struggling with the concept of having to choose which one of his friends he would fuck. They're his friends for a reason, the reason being that he doesn't even want to think about fucking them. "This is really difficult, I don't know. Why do I have to choose fuck first? That's the worst one!" he complains, whining a little bit, but it doesn't work on Yuta like he hoped it would.

His friend just rolls his eyes. "That's how the game works. Go!" Another slap, this one on his thigh. 

Sicheng grits his teeth. "Say go one more time!"

"Fine, just do it then!" Yuta shouts, smiling apologetically when Sicheng shushes him, not for the first time tonight, and probably not the last. It's almost 3 in the morning and 80% of Yuta's neighbours are old, cranky and not afraid to yell at a couple of teenagers in the dead of night.

"Okay! Wait! Okay, I got it. Fuck Jeno, marry Hyuck and kill Johnny, obviously."

Yuta looks taken aback. "Wait, where am I?" he asks in disbelief, and then, once he processed everything Sicheng had said, he looks straight up offended. "And why would you fuck Jeno, oh my god? 

Sicheng just shrugs. "Why not? He's hot."

"Yeah, but like, so are some other people," Yuta pathetically tries to hint at himself, all of his attempts at being subtle thrown away when he looks at Sicheng pointedly, raising his eyebrows the highest they've ever been. Actually, he might not even be trying to be subtle, Sicheng honestly doesn't even know anymore. 

"I have no idea who you're referring to," he says flatly. "Anyway, let's hear yours, then!

Yuta groans. "I'm still not over this, but fine! Okay, fuck Donghyuck, marry you and kill Jeno." 

"Did you just kill Jeno because I said I would fuck him?" Sicheng asks in disbelief. 

"Absolutely not, I was gonna kill him even before," Yuta replies right away, looking calm and collected and that's exactly what gives him away. That, and a small smile threatening to appear on his face. 

"You literally wasn't, but okay. And I can't believe you said you would fuck Donghyuck!" Sicheng says and it's possible that he used a louder voice, because Yuta raises his eyebrow as if to say "Who's shouting now?" but Sicheng doesn't have time to argue about that now. "I'm telling him, by the way."

Yuta only shrugs nonchalantly. "I'm fine with that."

"You're fine with me telling Donghyuck you want to fuck him?" Sicheng asks, not believing a single word this clown is saying. "If I called him right now to tell him that, you would be fine with it?"

Yuta is now peacefully sipping on his beer, nodding casually once he puts it down."Yeah, go ahead!

Sicheng can't believe this shit. "Okay, let me just get my phone," he says, not really intending to text Donghyuck, but hoping Yuta won't see through him.

"It's fine, take your time," his friend says indifferently. 

Sicheng puts his phone back down in distaste. "You're literally the worst."

That makes Yuta laugh, for some reason. "Why are you so pressed about it, anyway? Are you maybe jealous?" he asks, wiggling his eyebrows obnoxiously. 

Sicheng snorts. "You wish!" He just feels sorry for poor Donghyuck, who's unwillingly being discussed in this context. And on this day, too! Mark would surely not approve. "But I guess it's fine, cause you did say you would marry me, so."

Yuta nods understandingly. "So you would still get it on the regular, yeah." 

Unfortunately, Yuta is quick enough do avoid the pillow Sicheng throws at him. "Get out!" 

Yuta's laugh is contagious, though, so Sicheng doesn't really have a choice but to end up chuckling as well.

"Fine, I'll stop, I'll stop," Yuta says after a while, abandoning his position where he's facing Sicheng to lean on the back of the couch. He takes another sip of his beer and then looks at Sicheng again. "I still can't believe you didn't choose me at all."

Sicheng reaches to take his own glass from the coffee table, realizing he's been neglecting it for too long, only to find it being empty already. Huh. He's drinking wine, never being the one for beer, especially not on his birthday. Instead, he opened up that fancy bottle of white Doyoung bought him for this particular occasion, telling him to share it with friends. Which he was going to do, but it's not his fault Yuta is a peasant who refers to wine as spoiled grape juice and who also said "beer me" as soon as they entered his apartment. "Get over it! And where do you think I was supposed to put you, huh?"

"I said I would marry you, though," Yuta says and there's a pout in his voice, so Sicheng decides to go easy on him.

"Yeah, that was nice," he graces Yuta with, to which the other one just snorts. "Wow, thanks.

Sicheng gives him a playful wink. "You're welcome, baby!" Then, he sits up and starts walking towards the kitchen. "I'm gonna go get some more wine."

"Bring me a cupcake, please!" Yuta yells after him and Sicheng makes a face of disgust despite himself and despite the fact that Yuta isn't even there to see it. 

"Yuta, you're drinking beer, I'm not bringing you cupcakes, that's literally the worst combination I've ever heard of!" he yells back, grabbing the wine with one hand and reaching for the crisps with the other. 

"But I'm hungry!" comes a whiny reply a few seconds later. Sicheng rolls his eyes affectionately. Once he's back in the living room, he throws the snack at Yuta and sits back on the couch. "Have some crisps then!"

"Fine!" the other says, reluctantly opening the pack in his hands, before proceeding to stuff his mouth with its content. After a few seconds of just loudly devouring the crisps, he finally opens his mouth and Sicheng silently hopes this doesn't end up with him having to imagine his friends in any more unwanted scenarios. Unfortunately, it seems like he's out of luck, once again. "Okay, but since I wasn't on your list at all -"

"Oh my god!" 

Yuta pretends like he doesn't hear him, quickly continuing, "- let's try it like this - me, Mark and Jungwoo."

Sicheng gives him an incredulous look. "You're being ridiculous."

"Just do it!"

Sighing defeatedly, Sicheng starts to think about his options, accepting his fate. "Fine. Fuck Jungwoo -"

Yuta makes a weird noise between a groan and a laugh and points his greasy finger at him aggressively. "I knew you were gonna say that!"

Sicheng ignores him. " - Marry you." Then, he remembers who the third person was. "Oh no, I don't wanna kill Mark."

"But do you want to be married to him?" Yuta asks, smiling knowingly.

Sicheng is quick to respond. "No, but I don't really want to be married to you either, so."

"But you would rather kill him than me, right?" Yuta continues, talking to him like one would talk to a five year old. Sicheng hates it. 

He sighs defeatedly. "How are we back to dragging Mark again?" he wonders out loud.

Clearly satisfied with his response, Yuta leans back on the couch, smiling happily. "That's what I thought."

"I didn't say anything," Sicheng weakly tries to point out, but Yuta disregards his poor attempts at salvaging the situation. 

"Everything is clear, though. Wow, I can't believe we're getting married!" he then says, smiling dreamily.

Sicheng gives him an unimpressed look. "Wow, how drunk are you? 

"Just drunk on love, baby!" Yuta says with a greasy wink, putting his legs on the table, almost knocking his glass down in the process. Sicheng watches the whole thing with distaste. 

"Never talk to me again," he says, probably for the hundredth time in his life, but it's ineffective as always, because Yuta's already opening his mouth.

"I'm joking, oh my god. You never let me have any fun!" Yuta pouts, crossing his arms childishly. He's overexaggerating, of course, because, if anything, Sicheng probably lets him have too much fun. Just the other day, he let Yuta choose both of the movies they watched that night. How generous is he? 

"Fun is you being cringey as fuck?" Sicheng asks, because he's genuinely curious at this point.

Yuta rolls his eyes, seemingly giving up on the topic. "Whatever."

It's quiet for a while and Sicheng is enjoying the silence. He looks at his glass which is again almost empty and decides he needs to slow down. There's a voice inside his head that sounds suspiciously like Doyoung, telling him that wine should be enjoyed and drunk slowly and not gulped down. He ignores it and takes another sip. "I'm definitely starting to feel all the shit I drank tonight."

Yuta nods understandingly. "Yeah, me too. It's been a while."

"I know! School's been a pain in my ass, I feel like I haven't gone out in, like, forever."

"No, I mean, it's been a while since it was just the two of us." At that, Sicheng turns around to look at him, feeling a little guilty. It wasn't intentional, how they haven't been spending a lot of time together lately, Sicheng was just busy. First, it was summer break, where he went to China with Donghyuck and when he got back, Yuta had already gone to Japan. Then, Yuta started college and, with Sicheng still in high school, they couldn't see each other anymore as much. But before all that, it was Renjun, and that one was entirely Sicheng's fault.

Not wanting to make it weird or emotional, because it wouldn't go with the mood, and because emotions are for the weak, Sicheng tries to joke. "Yeah, well, you only have one person to blame for that."

"Johnny!" they say at the same time, bursting out laughing and Sicheng can't help but think about how good their chemistry is.

"No, but, really," Yuta continues once he's calmed down, "I like it when it's just us. You know you're my favourite." 

"I do know that," Sicheng says, still feeling a bit proud, even if he hears Yuta say it all the time.

There's a few seconds of silence, and when Sicheng turns around to look at Yuta, the other has his serious face on. Oh no. "I'm about to say something horrible now."

"Go ahead," he says, just a little bit scared of what might come out of Yuta's mouth.

Yuta is silent for a few more seconds, like he's contemplating whether he should say it at all and Sicheng is amused. What could Yuta possibly say that would make Sicheng deem it as horrible? Stupid, sure, but horrible? But then he speaks and Sicheng gets it. "I'm kind of glad you broke up with Renjun." 

"Yeah, that is horrible," he says, hoping to make Yuta feel a little bit bad. Sicheng knew Yuta felt this way, because the other was very obvious about it. He never said it openly, though, and Sicheng briefly wonders if that changes anything. He quickly decides that it doesn't. Yuta will always be Yuta - jealous and unapologetic about it.

"I know, but like," he starts, trying to think of something acceptable to say, Sicheng assumes. After a while, he continues defeatedly, "Yeah, there's no excuse, really. I guess I'm just selfish. I missed spending time with you." 

And Sicheng gets it, he really does, but, "Yeah. Still, you're the worst." 

"Well, I told you it was gonna be horrible!" Yuta says matter-of-factly. 

Sicheng scoffs. "I didn't think it would be that bad!"

"That's on you, you should know me by now."

Sicheng is not mad, he's too drunk to be mad about something like this. He probably wouldn't be mad even if he wasn't drunk. It just doesn't make him feel anything. Ages ago, he would've been happy at the prospect of Yuta being jealous about him spending time with someone else. It would've given him immense joy to know that Yuta was being swallowed by that toxic feeling because of him. Now, he just doesn't care. Still, he feels like he needs to yell at Yuta just a little bit. It's only fair. "Shut up! I can't believe I'm still keeping you around!" 

"Must be my healing smile," Yuta concludes teasingly. 

"It's just out of habit, really," Sicheng starts, ignoring Yuta's comment, "I'm just used to this and it would be too much of a hassle to chase you off now." 

"Chase me off, wow. You never tell me anything nice, I'm hurt," Yuta says, putting his hand over his heart dramatically. 

Sicheng rolls his eyes. "Aren't we past that? I feel like we're at that point of our friendship where I can constantly say mean things to you and you'll just be okay with it."

"But I say nice things to you all the time!" Yuta complains, pouting.

"Yeah, but that's just how you are."

Yuta is quick to correct him. "Incorrect! I would never say anything nice to Johnny." Sicheng laughs. He loves how mocking Johnny has become a running joke between them, sort of like a tradition at this point. It makes him proud that he started it. 

"Nobody would. It's not your fault, there's nothing wrong with you," he says in a serious tone, but struggling to keep a serious face on. "Okay, tell me something nice then!"

Yuta gives him an incredulous look. "You tell ME something nice!" 

"No, no, you first." It's fun, messing with Yuta like this. Sicheng enjoys it very much, expecting the other will complain some more, but Yuta complies easily. Sicheng is half disappointed, half happy he's about to be complimented. 

"Okay, you look really nice today." 

Sicheng raises an eyebrow. "Just today?"

"Well, always, but it's too creepy to say 'You always look nice' isn't it?" Yuta concludes, looking at Sicheng pointedly. 

There's a smug smile on Sicheng's face. "You just said it, though." 

Yuta rolls his eyes. "Whatever, your turn!" he exclaims, patting Sicheng's leg a few times, urging him to proceed.

"What, that was it? I look really nice?" he asks, pretending to be disappointed. "Weak." 

"I give you enough compliments, please. I call you my prince, for fuck's sake!" Yuta points out and Sicheng cringes at the nickname, like he does every time the other calls him that.

"Yeah, that is weird," he admits, finishing the rest of his wine. He looks sadly at the empty glass in front of him and then at the empty bottle mocking him from the coffee table. Next to him, Yuta takes a swig of his beer, burping loudly when he's done with it. Well, Sicheng's done with drinking for the night, it seems.

"You love it. You pretend like you hate compliments, but you bask in them, honestly." Well, he's not wrong. 

"Whatever." If he has to do it, it's better to just be done with it quickly, Sicheng thinks. "Okay, you can be funny, that's my compliment to you. And you also look nice, so. And you're really hard working and ambitious," he says finally, realizing that was way more than he needed to say. "That was three compliments, literally don't ever expect something like this again." He's looking in front of himself, not daring to look at Yuta in case the other is smirking or something equally annoying as that. When he doesn't hear anything for a few seconds, he reluctantly turns to look at Yuta, only to find him staring intensely back at him.

"That outfit is great. And you generally know how to dress yourself to look really good. That's number two. And number three - your lips are really pretty." 

Sicheng can only stare dumbly at him, taken aback. "My lips?" 

"Yeah, I think they're your best feature." 

"Thanks." It's not rare that Yuta says something outrageous, something that has Sicheng question their whole friendship and Yuta's sanity. This, though, this is not outrageous. Sicheng doesn't know what this is and, consequently, doesn't know what to say or how to react.

Yuta, on the other hand, looks perfectly normal, like he was just talking about the weather, and not about the fact that he finds his best friend's lips pretty. "Yeah. Was that weird?" It was super weird, but Sicheng doesn't want Yuta to know that he's freaking out. And he is freaking out. 

"You thinking about my lips? Yeah, a little bit," he says, turning away from Yuta again.

"I wasn't thinking about your lips," Yuta tries to defend himself. 

"You had to. If you decided that was my best feature, you had to think about it at least a little bit," Sicheng points out. He's still not looking at Yuta, too embarrassed, even though Yuta is the one who should be embarrassed. It's always Yuta, with his inability to keep things to himself and his non existent brain to mouth filter, making Sicheng go through second hand embarrassment more often than not.

"It's not something I thought about, it's just very obvious whenever I look at you." At this, Sicheng has to turn around to look at Yuta, mostly to confirm that he's being serious. How does he manage to say stuff like that with a completely straight face? Sicheng can't decide whether he envies him or thinks he's ridiculous. A little bit of both, probably, he concludes. 

"Anyway, let's stop talking about that!" he announces loudly, hoping Yuta will realize how uncomfortable he's feeling and change the subject finally. He's surprised by how uncomfortable he actually is, ascribing it to Yuta's out of the blue bluntness and the sheer needlessness of that statement. Something about that doesn't add up, though, and suddenly he feels like he's overreacting. It's just a friendly compliment, why is he freaking out? 

"Why, are you uncomfortable?" Yuta asks then, like he can read his mind, but, in reality, he probably noticed Sicheng's panicked expression. 

"I mean, yeah, a little bit," Sicheng says, deciding to be honest. At least to an extent. 

"Because I notice your lips?" Yuta asks, genuinely curious, like they're not currently discussing, what apparently is Sicheng's best feature, in regards to how Yuta feels about it.

"Yeah, that's exactly it," he says with an air of finality. 

Yuta takes another swig of his beer. "What, you never thought about kissing me?" he asks, making Sicheng's heart start beating just a little bit faster. 

"How are we talking about kissing now? And obviously not, you're my best friend," Sicheng says, thinking back to his freshman year, feeling a bit nervous, even though Yuta can't possibly read his mind. What he can do is notice the slightest blush on Sicheng's cheeks. He looks away again, trying to hide it the best he can.

If Yuta notices something, he doesn't show it. "First, I'm telling Hyuck you said that, and second, what's the big deal? It doesn't have to mean anything." 

Sicheng turns around to properly face him and that's when he notices the other boy is blushing too. "What are you even talking about anymore?"

"Nothing, forget about it," Yuta dismisses him and Sicheng loves how he's the one that's trying to change the subject now. 

"How drunk are you?"

"Not that drunk. I just meant that it's normal to sometimes think about stuff like that about your friends. It doesn't have to mean you're in love with them," Yuta says, shifting in his seat. Sicheng notices that his glass is empty as well, but the other doesn't do anything to change that, which is weird because Yuta would usually jump at the opportunity to have an excuse to leave an uncomfortable situation. He wants to have this conversation, Sicheng concludes, even if it makes him uncomfortable. 

"Okay. So, what are you trying to say?" Sicheng asks, feeling more confident now, "That you thought about kissing me before?"

"I'm sure it crossed my mind. But it doesn't mean anything," Yuta reassures him quickly. 

He can't help but think back to his freshman year again and how excited his former self would be to know that his crush thought about kissing him. His mind wanders then, thinking about the possibility that Yuta and him had the same thoughts at the same time. He quickly dismisses the idea, it's all in the past anyway. Plus, Yuta said it didn't mean anything, which means it was just a thought. Curiosity at best. "Well, obviously. But why would you mention it then? 

"I don't know, we're just talking," Yuta shrugs, but there's something else there that Sicheng can't pinpoint exactly. 

"Okay." He tries to think of something else to talk about, but the kiss thing is obviously still hanging in the air, occupying Sicheng's every thought, so he just gives up. "I'm sorry, I just can't move past the fact that you want to kiss me."

Yuta rolls his eyes, slapping Sicheng's arm lightly. "That's not what I said, oh my god. And don't flatter yourself." 

"You're right, I have you for that," Sicheng points out, smirking a little. 

Yuta doesn't look amused. "Wow, I created a monster." 

"So, do you?" he insists for some reason, telling himself that it's fine, he's just curious, there's nothing wrong with that. 

"Do I what?" comes a dumb reply.

Sicheng rolls his eyes, feeling impatient all of a sudden. "Do you want to kiss me? Still?"

"I don't know, oh my god! What are you trying to say?" 

"Nothing, we're just talking," he says, leaning back on the couch. He's weighing his options now, even though it's pretty clear the only thing he should do is let this go.

"Right," he hears Yuta's unconvinced voice from next to him and the boy is apparently right to be doubtful, because the next thing Sicheng knows, the stupidest words ever are coming out of his own mouth.

"I mean, we can, if you want to," he suggests, surprising even himself. After Yuta gives him an incredulous look, he quickly continues, "What? You started this!" In the inside, though, his heart is pounding so fast he's scared Yuta will hear it.

Yuta is still looking at him like he doesn't quite believe what he just proposed. "You're drunk," he decides, nodding to himself. 

"I'm not drunk!" Sicheng immediately protests, but even he knows that's a lie, so he corrects himself, "Okay, I'm a little drunk, but still." It's like he can't stop himself anymore, the words are just coming out of his mouth against his will. Where is this even coming from? He's definitely over Yuta, has been for a while now. Maybe he's just in the mood for kissing, it's been a while since he last kissed someone. Yeah, that must be it. Then, he remembers that he's been drinking the whole night, a wave of relief washing over him. It's the alcohol, he thinks, glad that he got to the bottom of this.

"Still what?" Yuta asks.

"Still, it's not a big deal." 

Yuta is completely facing him now, all his attention back on Sicheng, which doesn't help at all with his nervousness. "You're saying you would want to kiss me?" 

"It's not a big deal," he stresses, not wanting Yuta to get the wrong idea. 

"Okay," he says eventually, and Sicheng can't help but feel slightly taken aback, even though he was kind of expecting an answer like this.

"Yeah?" he asks, just to make sure this is really happening, because what the fuck?! Is he about to kiss his best friend/former crush? 

Yuta simply nods. "Yeah." There's nothing on his face that can possibly reveal how he feels at the moment and Sicheng hates it.

"Like, right now?" he asks dumbly, too dumbfounded to think properly. 

"Well, you suggested it," Yuta points out and he's right, Sicheng did suggest it. Why the fuck did he do that? It's the alcohol, his brain helpfully supplies. Right.

"So, what, do we just go for it?" 

Yuta looks exasperated now. Great. "I don't know! I can serenade you first, if you'd prefer that," he says sarcastically.

Because Sicheng never appreciates sarcasm when it comes from Yuta and because he can't really help himself, he snorts and says: "Not with that voice, I wouldn't." 

Yuta must know that's it's a joke, he must know how Sicheng's always looking forward to their karaoke nights just to hear Yuta's iconic rendering of 'I wanna know what love is', but he still gasps, putting his hand on his chest dramatically. "What are you talking about, I have the voice of an angel?!" 

"I feel like we're talking ourselves into this too much, we should just do it," Sicheng says casually, knowing that will only annoy Yuta further. 

"No!" his friend protests like Sicheng knew he would. Yuta is so easy to rile up. "Say that you love my voice first!"

"Well, now I'm never gonna say it, obviously." 

"Say it!" Yuta practically shouts and Sicheng thinks about how nice this is, going back to what's familiar, the aimless teasing that he feels so comfortable with, so unlike that previous conversation they found themselves in.

So, he decides to just smirk at Yuta's futile attempt at making him say what he wants to hear, which only annoys Yuta further, resulting in his sudden attack on Sicheng.

"Oh you'll say it or I'll make you say it," he threatens, pushing Sicheng down and climbing on top of him skilfully. There's an evil smile on his face and Sicheng knows where this is going. Before he gets the chance to say anything, there are hands on both his sides and he's begging Yuta to stop tickling him.

"Stop! I really, really hate this! I'm gonna pee my pants and then I'm gonna kill you! Stop, please!"

Yuta doesn't stop, of course he doesn't, and Sicheng starts to regret every single life choice that led him to this moment. He's kicking his legs and trying to push Yuta off, but the other boy is unfortunately stronger and he's literally sitting on top of Sicheng, all smug and enjoying this too much. "Yuta, I'll kill you, I swear to god!" 

Yuta does stop then, but he's still on top of Sicheng, looking at him weirdly, and before Sicheng has the chance to free himself, Yuta's lips are on his. It's barely a kiss, with none of them really moving, and the abruptness of it makes Sicheng freeze completely, absolutely shocked at what's happening and Yuta pulls away before he has the chance to react. He doesn't move from his position above Sicheng, though, instead staring at him in shock like he can't possibly believe what he just did either. Sicheng can only imagine how his own face looks like. Just as he thinks Yuta is about to move away, he leans back in, putting his hand in Sicheng's hair. This kiss doesn't last any longer than the first one, but it's so much softer, making Sicheng's heart tighten impossibly in his chest. It's from all the shock, he convinces himself after Yuta pulls away. 

He needs to say something quickly, he needs to say something light and possibly funny if he wants things to go back to how they were before he went on and suggested the stupidest thing in the world. He needs to say something, because Yuta is looking at him with wide eyes and Sicheng doesn't know how much more of that he can take.

"I still didn't say it, though," he blurts out, a little disappointed in himself for choosing that out of all the things he could've said. His heart is still pounding like crazy and he can still feel Yuta on his lips, which is not something he ever thought he'll need to worry about. 

Yuta looks disappointed too, at least that's how it seems to Sicheng, but he recovers quickly. "That's fine."

"I do love your voice," he says, needing to make that clear. 

Yuta smiles faintly at that. "I know." He looks like he's contemplating something, Sicheng realizes immediately, because he has that expression on, the same one he gets when he doesn't know how to tell Sicheng he messed up the recipe again and that his pancakes taste like shit.

"Sicheng, I-" he starts to say, but the loud vibration coming from Sicheng's phone interrupts him and, at the same time, scares the shit out of Sicheng, making him jump a little. He reluctantly pulls it out of his pocket, signalizing Yuta to give him a second. 

"Donghyuck just texted me his and Mark's ship name. Why does he have to be like this?" he sighs, almost all of the excitement he previously felt regarding the new couple slowly dissipating. 

"Well, what is it?"

"Markhyuck," he says, rereading the text to make sure he got that right. 

"Does he expect us to refer to them as Markhyuck or something?" Yuta asks, apparently sharing Sicheng's distaste, "Cause I'm never gonna do that."

"He literally wrote 'Mark + Donghyuck = Markhyuck and the world is not ready, but it will still bow before us' and I don't even think he's drunk, he's just high on power now that they're finally together." 

Yuta scrunches his face in distaste. "Should we stop this immediately before it gets any worse?" 

"Yeah, I'm just gonna ignore his text, and tomorrow I'm gonna remind him of how much blackmail material I have on him that would probably scare Mark away for life," Sicheng casually says, putting his phone away. 

Yuta snorts. "Yeah, that's never gonna happen, Mark's too whipped for that," he points out. 

"You're right. I'm gonna do it anyway, scare Hyuck a little bit, make him realize he'll never be completely safe with me around," Sicheng says, turning to look at Yuta again. It's not weird, he tells himself, things are not weird, this is only Yuta. His heart speeds up again.

The other boy is looking at him in awe. "Wow, you're evil when you're drunk, I kinda like it."

Sicheng snorts. "Nah, I sobered up quite a bit." He doesn't need to say anything else, Yuta probably gets it, he always does. Sicheng, though - he doesn't get anything right now, especially not Yuta and the lack of emotions he's currently showing. 

"Yeah, me too."

Sicheng nods. "But I think I'm ready to sleep, I can barely keep my eyes open," he says, faking a little yawn to seem more convincing. Because that's a lie, he's wide awake and doesn't think sleep will come easy to him after everything. Yuta buys it, though, or maybe he doesn't, but he still nods, standing up.

"Okay. I set up your bed earlier, call me if you need anything." 

Sicheng stands up as well, not really knowing what else to do with himself. "Okay. Talk to you in the morning?" 

Yuta turns around to give him a little smile. "I'll be waiting." 

 

When Sicheng wakes up the next morning, there's a note next to his pillow that says:

Sorry, I forgot I had a morning class :/ You don't have to wait for me, I'll be late, I have a ton of stuff to do today. I'll call you later

A dry laugh escapes Sicheng, because it's funny how sharp and quick-witted Yuta normally is, but all that disappears when he's in a stressful situation. He can't react quickly and he ends up saying the stupidest things, panic making him dumb. And this is one of those situations for him, Sicheng realizes. It's funny, because Yuta always brags about how he can sleep in on Mondays since he doesn't have a morning class. He even talked about it last night. Sicheng rereads the note again and sighs, throwing his head back on the pillow. God, he hates Mondays.


	16. It's comin' in softly on the wings of a bomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sicheng is 20, turning 21 that year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the worst

The insistent sound of Taeyong's annoyed huffs and the clicking of his tongue are irritating Sicheng more than the baby's crying itself - the whole reason Taeyong's annoyed in the first place.

"Would you relax? Just put in your headphones if it bothers you so much," Sicheng says, not having to look up from his book to know that his boyfriend is frowning. He resist the urge to roll his eyes.

"I can't put my headphones in, you know I can't concentrate with the music blasting through my ears," Taeyong says matter-of-factly, "And I still can't believe how you're not bothered by this!"

Sicheng does look up then, giving his boyfriend a tired look. "We've been over this. Of course this is not ideal for me, do you think I like that the sound of a screaming baby wakes me up every time I sleep over? Of course not, but what am I supposed to do? Go there and tell them to keep it down? I'm pretty sure they're trying their best, Taeyong, but newborn babies tend to be like that, you know? Pretty fucking loud and crying most of the time." His face softens when he sees how Taeyong's own face changes, now looking slightly guilty for complaining about it in the first place. "There's just nothing we can do, baby." 

Taeyong sighs, rubbing his eyes and closing his laptop carefully, before putting it away. "I know, fuck, I know. But it's driving me crazy, Sich. I need to finish this stupid assignment by tomorrow." 

Sicheng understands, his studying is being disrupted too. "We can go to my place, I can ask Johnny to be at Ten's for a few hours?" he suggests, but Taeyong shakes his head.

"That's not a permanent solution. I honesty think they're not good parents," he starts and Sicheng rolls his eyes at his boyfriend's dramatics. "No, no, hear me out! They always leave the apartment at the weird hours of the day, right? And I don't think they bring the baby with them, I'm willing to bet that the baby is alone right now!" 

Sicheng stands up to join Taeyong on the sofa. "Baby, we can't make assumptions like that," he says, running his fingers through Taeyong's hair. "You know what? Let's go out and grab something to eat! We've studied enough anyways." 

Taeyong looks up at him disapprovingly. "You've been studying for less than half an hour," he says pointedly. 

"That's plenty of time, considering that exams are months away from now. Let's go!" Sicheng says, standing up quickly and pulling Taeyong with him. "I'm in the mood for pasta." 

Taeyong finally smiles, throwing his arms around Sicheng's shoulders. "You're always in the mood for pasta, but fine. You convinced me." 

 

The next time Sicheng is forced to think about the crying baby, he's alone in Taeyong's apartment.

His boyfriend left earlier in the morning to go to class and Sicheng decided to wait for him to get back to have lunch together, since he doesn't have anything important to do today. 

He's just made himself breakfast when there's a knock on the door. Startled, mostly because he has no idea who it can be, considering that almost everyone Taeyong knows is currently in the class with him, he gets up reluctantly, not in the mood to talk to any door to door salesmen or anyone else really, only to find a young woman carrying a baby waiting for him when he opens the door. That must be the crying baby, his brain supplies. It's actually pretty cute when it's not screaming. His eyes are huge, at least Sicheng thinks it's a boy, and he's looking straight at him. Sicheng can't help but melt a little at the sight.

Realizing that he's just been staring at the baby since he opened the door, he looks up at the woman, giving her a small smile. "Hi," he says awkwardly, unsure if he should add something else or if he should just let the woman say why she's here. 

"Um, hello," she starts, giving Sicheng a tentative smile, "I live in the apartment next door." He can't help but notice the huge bags under her eyes and how utterly exhausted she looks. "I wanted to make coffee, but then I saw that I didn't have any and I can't go to the store because I ran out of gas yesterday, so I thought I should ask my first neighbours," she says, chuckling awkwardly, but it sounds strained and Sicheng thinks he can see unshed tears in her eyes, "And I know we've never met before and that this is probably not the best first impression, but I promise I mostly have my shit together," she stops to take a shaky breath and the baby starts crying, "It's just been a really shitty day," she says finally and some of those tears start to fall down her face.

Sicheng is stunned, has no idea what to say, but both the woman and the baby are crying, so he quickly snaps out of it and invites her to come in.

"Taeyong doesn't have a coffee maker, are you okay with instant?" he asks her and when she nods he goes to the kitchen. The baby is still crying and he can hear the woman trying to calm him down with soft words, but it doesn't work. Sicheng thinks how convenient it is that Taeyong's not home right now. He puts enough water in the kettle for two cups and when the coffee's ready, he goes back to the living room.

"Thank you," the woman says, seemingly calmer now, but the baby is still crying, "You didn't have to do this, I don't want to bother you if you're busy." 

Sicheng sits down, offering her one of the cups. "No, it's fine, I'm not busy."

"I just don't really know how to calm him down," she says then, rocking the baby back and forth, getting frustrated when it doesn't do much to soothe him. "I took the day off to stay with him, but we don't seem to be connecting like I hoped we would." 

Not knowing what to say or do, Sicheng takes a long sip of his coffee, trying to figure out how to approach this. "And what do you usually do with him when you're working?" he asks carefully, not wanting to come off as rude or like he's prying or judging her. 

"My mom comes over to help me, but she's not really happy I kept him, so I don't think she likes him too much." 

Trying not to look too shocked, Sicheng goes for, what he hopes is, a compassionate look, but really, he feels so unprepared for all of this and so out of his depth.

"I'm sorry," he says, not knowing what else to say. "I'm Sicheng, by the way. This is my boyfriend's apartment, but I'm here quite often."

The woman smiles and now that Sicheng got a better look of her, she doesn't seem that much older than him. "I'm Hae." She takes a sip of her coffee, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath when she's done. 

It's a bit awkward after that, where none of them are really saying anything, so Sicheng takes another look at the baby. He's not really crying anymore, but he doesn't look happy either, but what does Sicheng know about babies anyway? He does look really cute, Sicheng thinks. It's the eyes, he realizes, they're so big and expressive and they're staring at him again.

"And what is the baby's name?" 

"Oh, right. Sorry," Hae says, looking sheepish. "I'm still not used to having to introduce him too. This is Jungkook, but I call him Guka," she says, pressing him a little tighter to her chest. 

"Hi, Guka," Sicheng coos, going in to caress the baby's arm before he stops himself. "Is it okay if I touch him?"

Hae shrugs. "I think so? The worst thing he can do is start crying again," she says, chuckling weakly. 

Sicheng takes that as a yes and gently puts his hand on Jungkook's arm. He's honestly expecting the worst, but the baby only keeps staring at him, all wide eyed and adorable. Encouraged and just a little bit enchanted, Sicheng carefully takes the baby's hand in his and Jungkook emits a sound that reminds Sicheng a lot of laughter. 

Hae smiles earnestly, probably for the first time since she got here. "I think he likes you. Do you want to hold him?" 

"Sure. I haven't done this in quite some time, though," Sicheng points out, trying to remember the last time he held a baby, concluding that it's been a while. Back when he was still living with his parents, they would often have guests with babies or toddlers and Sicheng is proud to admit that all the kids absolutely adored him. Of course, that doesn't mean Jungkook will like him too, even though Sicheng really hopes he will.

He carefully takes him in his arms, making sure to pay extra attention to how he holds his head and after a few seconds of manoeuvring, Jungkook is safely in his arms, clutching to his chest. Sicheng feels like he could die from cuteness. 

Hae smiles, resting her chin on her hand. "Would you look at that? He loves you." 

Sicheng can't help but smile brightly. 

 

"I'm finally done!" Taeyong exclaims, closing his laptop harshly, "And now I'm all yours. What do you wanna do?"

Sicheng looks up from his phone where he's been exchanging memes with Donghyuck and Jisung for the past half an hour, thankful for Taeyong's unintentional intervention. He's sure his friends could keep sending memes to each other for hours, but he has better things to do. Like spending time with his awesome boyfriend. 

"I'm feeling kinda hungry, maybe you could make us something to eat?" he suggests, making that one face he knows Taeyong's not immune to. He's proven right, of course, because his boyfriend immediately smiles, coming over to sit on the couch next to him.

"Oh, is the baby hungry? The baby wants to eat?" he coos like he always does and Sicheng still doesn't know how to feel about it. It's a weird emotion between fondness and second hand embarrassment. He's sure he'll get used to it soon enough.

He goes to push Taeyong's hand away as soon the other starts pinching his cheeks, but then he remembers he still needs Taeyong to make them dinner, so he needs to be nice. He sadly wishes he knew how to cook so that he wouldn't have to go through this. After a few more seconds of letting the other do whatever he wants to his face, Sicheng's had enough. "Okay, you're really pushing it now."

Taeyong chuckles. "Sorry, you just have the squishiest face."

Sicheng rolls his eyes. "Wow, lucky me."

After one last squeeze of his ear, Taeyong finally stands up. "Alright, fine, I'll go make us something to eat now."

Sicheng smiles triumphantly. Then, he remembers something. "Fuck!" he mutters. How did he manage to completely forget about it?

"Um, Taeyong?" he calls his boyfriend who's already in the kitchen.

"Yeah?" Taeyong yells back, the clanking of dishes almost louder than his voice.

"I promised Hae we'll watch Guka tonight." 

The clanking suddenly stops and Taeyong's back in the living room in no time. "Again?" he asks, clearly exasperated. "That's the third time this week, Sicheng." 

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. It completely slipped my mind," he says, feeling bad that he forgot about his playdate with Jungkook, especially after looking forward to it the whole morning. 

Taeyong frowns. "That's not the point. Why did you agree to it in the first place?" 

That's a fair question, Sicheng thinks, but he doesn't think Taeyong would be satisfied with the answer. The truth is, he can't really say no to Hae, not when it comes to Jungkook. 

"Hae's going on a date. And she couldn't call her mother because they're not on speaking terms at the moment, so -" he tries to explain, but Taeyong interrupts him, rather harshly. 

"So, naturally, it had to be you," he says sarcastically and Sicheng detects a tinge of coldness in his voice. He hates that they're fighting about this again, that something so sweet and adorable as Jungkook is the cause of all of this. "I just feel like she's using us," Taeyong concludes, sitting down on the sofa tiredly.

Sicheng gets where he's coming from, he really does, but he also thinks Taeyong is blowing things out of proportion. "I don't mind spending time with Guka and I know you don't either," he insists, still determined to show Taeyong that the situation isn't all that complicated. If they love spending time with Jungkook and if they don't mind having him around, Sicheng really doesn't see what the problem is.

"I love the kid, but it's one thing to help Hae out sometimes and another to be the ones who are raising her baby," Taeyong says pointedly, now calmer than before, but his words are still sharp and full of intent. 

Sicheng rolls his eyes, almost amused by his boyfriend's dramatics. "We're not raising her baby, Taeyong, you're exaggerating." 

"She's not even paying us, we're literally doing her a favour!" Taeyong says, throwing his hands in the air in annoyance. 

Sicheng squints his eyes. "I know this is not about money for you."

"Of course it's not. I just think she's taking advantage of us," Taeyong concludes finally, leaning back on the sofa. 

Sicheng sighs, realizing it's pointless to continue arguing about this. He understands Taeyong's concerns and even agrees with him to some extent, but he also can't wait to see Jungkook again and show him that new picture book he bought for him yesterday. He doesn't think voicing that would be the best idea now, so instead, he promises Taeyong he'll talk to Hae soon.

"I hate that we keep fighting about this," Taeyong says softly, after a few minutes of complete silence. "When did this become such a big part of our lives?" 

Sicheng stays quiet because he doesn't know what to say. If he really thinks about it, Jungkook did become someone who's really important to them, but he still can't see how that's a bad thing. Taeyong is just overthinking things, he concludes, something he often does.

"I hate when we're fighting, too, so let's not fight anymore, okay?" he pleads, joining Taeyong on the sofa and kissing him softly when the other nods. "Oh, when are you bringing Mingyu?" 

Taeyong's eyes light up at the mention of his dog and he smiles brightly. Finally, Sicheng thinks. He immediately feels better, that tightness in his stomach he gets whenever they're fighting finally disappearing. "Tomorrow. Mom says he's been acting like he knows something's up, which is ridiculous, of course, he can't possibly know he's moving," Taeyong says, chuckling at the thought, "But he's so smart that I wouldn't be surprised if he could actually sense something's gonna change. I'm so excited for you to meet him." 

Sicheng smiles, resting his head on Taeyong's shoulder. "Me too." 

They stay like that for a while, just enjoying being close to each other and Sicheng almost forgets he was starving just fifteen minutes ago. That is, until his stomach growls loudly, making Taeyong laugh and jump to his feet. "I get the message. I'll make something quickly," he says, looking fondly at Sicheng, before he turns around and goes to the kitchen again.

"Thank you, baby!" Sicheng yells after him. Just as he's about to turn on the TV, the doorbell rings.

"Hey!" Hae greets him hurriedly, handing him Jungkook right away, along with a bag of his stuff. "Thank you so much for doing this, it means a lot!"

"No problem!" Sicheng says, pressing the baby closer to his chest. "You look nice." She also looks really nervous, but he doesn't think mentioning that would really help. Instead, he words his thoughts a little differently. "And you seem excited!"

Hae smiles nervously. "Yeah, I really want to impress this guy, so I'm kinda freaking out." Sicheng thinks about all the guys Hae's wanted to impress in the short amount of time he's known her and than immediately feels bad for thinking that. He's always prided himself on not being judgmental and he's not about to start judging people now. 

"Well, good luck!" he ends up saying and finds himself genuinely wanting things for Hae to work out. She's not a bad person and she has the best kid in the world, Sicheng thinks as Jungkook nestles closer to him, so she deserves to be happy. 

"Thank you! I won't be late!" she yells, already calling the elevator. 

When Sicheng's back inside, he immediately goes to the kitchen where Taeyong's still preparing the food. "Look who's here!" he says, adjusting Jungkook to be more comfortable in his arms.

Taeyong smiles as soon as he spots them, putting down the big pan he's been holding so that he can stroke Jungkook's hair. "Hello!" he says, looking fondly at him, "Did you miss me? Did you miss uncle Taeyong?" He's using that silly voice he always adopts when he's talking to Jungkook and Sicheng can't help but crack a smile. "Because I missed you!" he continues, booping Jungkook's nose who laughs in return. Sicheng watches the interaction affectionately. 

It happens so abruptly. In one moment, Taeyong's still cooing and making silly faces at the baby and in the next, Jungkook's saying his first word that undoubtedly sounds like 'Taeyong'. Sicheng's jaw drops.

"Holy shit!" Taeyong says, expressing Sicheng's exact thoughts. 

"Don't curse in front of the baby!" he scolds, more of a reflex than anything else at this point. "But yeah, what the fuck?"

 

Sicheng steps out of Taeyong's apartment, double checking if he looked the door, before stepping towards the elevator. He pushes the button once and then a few more times even though he knows that won't do anything to make it go faster. He hears the door behind him opens. "Sicheng!" a female voice calls out.

He turns around, smiling immediately when he sees the familiar face. "Hi, Hae. I haven't seen you in a while. How's Guka?" 

Hae closes the door behind her and joins him, pressing the button forcefully. "Everything's great. We've been staying at my boyfriend's house for the past few weeks."

That explains it, then. Sicheng's been wondering why she hasn't been dropping by lately, always asking Taeyong if he saw her and trying to think of a reason why she stopped bringing Jungkook over. He can't lie and say he wasn't a little worried and he knows Taeyong was too, even though the other kept telling him it was probably nothing. But, above everything else, he just missed Jungkook. 

"Oh. Are you gonna live there from now on?" he asks, not sure if he's ready to hear the answer. 

Hae sighs, but puts on a smile as soon as Sicheng gives her a worried look. "It's complicated. He doesn't really like kids, so we'll see. But he's a great guy, Sicheng, he really is. He treats me so well."

Sicheng frowns, an ugly feeling growing in his stomach. "But he doesn't like kids? I just can't imagine how that's gonna work out in the long run," he says, knowing that he's probably getting more involved than he should, but he doesn't find it in himself to care. This is about Jungkook and his well being, nothing should be more important to Hae than that. Sicheng can't believe he's the one telling her this, can't believe someone needs to tell her this in the first place. This is her son they're talking about, he should always be her number one priority. 

"Look, don't worry about it! Everything's gonna work out in the end, I just know it will." The elevator door opens and they step inside. Sicheng wants to say something, something that will make Hae see how big of a risk she's making and how reckless she's being, but before he gets the chance, Hae continues. "And I want to thank you again for all the times you helped me with Jungkook, you and Taeyong both. It's obvious that you genuinely care about him and I really appreciate that."

It's hard staying mad at Hae when she's always so nice, Sicheng thinks. He sighs in despair, already thinking about how annoyed Taeyong will be when he tells him about this. Then, a thought comes to his mind. "Where is Jungkook now?" 

Hae gives him a confused look, but there's something more there. She looks down, focusing on her hands instead. "He's sleeping and I'll only be out for a couple of hours." Sicheng stares at her in shock. "I'll probably be back before he wakes up."

"Give me your keys!" he says, not caring anymore if he sounds too harsh. This is getting out of control. 

"Really, it's fine, I've done it before, nothing ever happened. I would never-" she tries to explain, but Sicheng doesn't want to listen anymore. 

"No, this is not something you can do, Hae, and I can't believe I even have to tell you this!"

The elevator comes to a stop, but Sicheng doesn't make a move to get out. And neither will Hae, not before they settle this. "What am I supposed to do?" she asks, clearly getting upset now, but Sicheng doesn't think she has any right to be.

"I know it's not easy, but you figure it out! You're his mother!" he says, rapidly losing his patience the more he keeps explaining things to her he shouldn't even be explaining in the first place.

"Can you look after him just for a few hours? I wouldn't even ask, but-" she starts, but Sicheng doesn't let her finish, scoffing at her bullshit. 

"Yeah, you wouldn't ask because you would've left him all alone." He knows he's shouting now and the small elevator is hardly a place to do so, but he can't really control himself anymore.

"Please. I'm sorry, okay? I'll never do this again, I promise," Hae pleads and she looks so pitiful and desperate, so regretful, but Sicheng's seen enough of that to know that it doesn't mean a lot, that she's probably gonna do it again. Hae is not a bad person, but she is a bad mother, Sicheng realizes then. Still, he can't leave Jungkook alone now. Even if Hae doesn't deserve any more favours from him, Jungkook does. He deserves everything, much more than his mother can give him.

"You don't need to apologize to me, you need to realize how you absolutely cannot do this, ever again!" Hoping that at least some of this reached to her, he extends his arm, opening his hand to take the keys. 

Hae sighs with relief, squeezing his shoulder gently, before handing them to him. "I won't. And thank you." 

She turns around to look at him again, giving nim a little nod, before she steps out of the elevator. Sicheng is too stunned, still trying to process everything that just happened. He absentmindedly presses the button for the 11th floor and once the elevator comes to a stop again, he steps out. He takes a deep breath before he unlocks the door to Hae's apartment, hoping there won't be any more surprises waiting for him on the other side. He doesn't think he can handle any more bad surprises today. 

The place is a mess, is the first thing Sicheng notices once he's inside. There are empty cartoons of takeaway in almost every part of the living room, scattered clothes everywhere and the air feels stuffy. Sicheng goes to open the window immediately. He doesn't have a problem with finding a bedroom Jungkook's in, because the apartment is identical to Taeyong's, same number of rooms, same size, but it seems much smaller and much less comfortable to be in. 

Sicheng sighs with relief when he finds Jungkook peacefully sleeping. He didn't really expect anything else, considering that Hae left him not even ten minutes ago, but he's still relieved. And it's really good to see Jungkook again. 

After staring at him for a few minutes, Sicheng decides that's borderline creepy and goes back to the living room. He texts Taeyong to inform him about what happened, slumping down on the dusty couch once he's done.

He remembers his class that's supposed to start in fifteen minutes, another one that he's gonna miss. Well, at least he has a good reason this week.

A few hours later, Taeyong comes back. After Sicheng tells him everything about his conversation with Hae, he is pissed, exactly like Sicheng knew he would be. They talk some more about it, if they should do something, if there even is something they can do, before they decide to seriously confront Hae as soon as she gets back home that night. 

Except that she doesn't come back that night, not even the day after. Three days pass before she's back, apologizing profusely and promising she'll never do it again. She has about a thousand exuses, but Sicheng doesn't want to hear any of them. Taeyong is enraged and wants to call child services right away, but Hae begs him not to, crying and promising she'll be better in the future.

Sicheng manages to control himself, but as soon as he gets home, he bursts out crying. 

"What happened?" Johnny questions, a look of confusion and worry on his face when he sees Sicheng crying in his glass of wine. "You look awful." 

Sicheng doesn't even have the will to argue with him. "Why are some people such a mess? Jungkook's mother is worse than ever, she left him with us for three days!" he says, wanting to scream to show how annoyed and angry he is, but he's also so, so tired that he can only cry helplessly. 

"Shit, that's fucked up!" Johnny says, coming to sit next to Sicheng on their couch. Sicheng can tell that he's trying to come up with something helpful to say, something that will make Sicheng feel better. "I can join your 'trying to drink while tears roll down my face' party? Will that make you feel better?" he tries and Sicheng can't help but laugh. Yes, Johnny is clearly shit at comforting people, but Sicheng appreciates him trying nevertheless.

"That would actually be really nice." 

So they talk and drink and Sicheng even manages to have a little fun. It's hard not to when almost every story Johnny tells comes down to him making a fool of himself or saying something outrageous in front of the wrong people. It's nice, spending time with Johnny like this, talking about stupid things. It reminds Sicheng a lot of high school, when everything was more simple and he was carefree, not needing to worry about anything serious. 

Later when he's alone in his bed, he realizes he's been neglecting his friends and decides he needs to spend more time with them, especially with Yuta. At least he lives with Johnny, so he still gets to see him a lot, even though he's been spending a lot of time at Taeyong's ever since the other got his own place. But when it comes to Yuta, Sicheng can't remember the last time he spent some quality time with him, especially just the two of them. And Jisung and Chenle, he needs to pay them a visit, too. At least his friendship with Donghyuck is as strong as ever, but that has more to do with his best friend's persistent insistence to see each other at least once a week, than with any of Sicheng's real efforts. 

So, with those thoughts on his mind, he falls asleep, feeling just a little better than he did when he left Taeyong's apartment. 

The next morning, he calls Yuta and they agree to meet on Tuesday, when neither of them have classes. Later that day, Jisung texts him to inform him that he and Chenle are coming over this weekend and that Sicheng should be the one to provide alcohol. He laughs out loud when he reads the message, immediately feeling better about himself, more in control. Maybe he can't help everyone, can't change everyone's life, but he can at least try to sort out his own.

Feeling good and hopeful, he carries on with his day, excited he'll get to spend some time with his friends for a change and not with his boyfriend. He loves Taeyong, he really does, but he also needs a break from that apartment and everything it reminds him of.

While he's making himself dinner that night, he gets a text from Taeyong and he expects it to be anything from a good night text to Taeyong's daily reports on how well he's doing at uni, but he never expects it to be this:

from: Taeyong   
Call me as soon as you see this   
Hae left for good this time and she left Jungkook   
She wrote us a note  
She wants us to take care of him


End file.
